My LDR Bf Just left me

The last time I seen him he kissed me goodbye, told me how much he loved me how strong we are together, then he left me.

he told me he cant handle a relationship

i cant handle this break up. i dont know what to do with myself. i wake up in the morning still looking for my good morning text, sit at night wait for his usual phone call. my hearts breaking. ive never had to go through this, i dont know how you get through

On top of it all, I just don't understand how he can kiss me goodbye then suddenly end it.

Reply 1

Andy98

Original post by Jaeger12

Give it time.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

Rapollo

Original post by Jaeger12

Hobbies, hobbies and more hobbies.

Reply 3

username1044970

Original post by Jaeger12

Delete the texts. Go out with your friends, and keep busy.

Reply 4

newscientist87

Hugs. You are not alone x

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 5

EloiseStar

Original post by Jaeger12

A similar thing happened with my ex, where he was all loving and then suddenly ended it. There were little things that hinted that things were going sour so it wasn't that much of a shock (aside from his timing, I didn't think he would do it when he did it).

It took me about three months to be completely over him, maybe three and a half. I had so many unanswered questions and at the time of said dumping, I was going through a lot so I didn't deal with the relationship break down there and then.

You'll have good days and you will have terrible days when you want to call him, beg for him back etc. But you'll get there. You can message me if you need help, advice or just somebody to talk to.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

If I have learnt one thing from breakups it is that time will heal the pain you are feeling. Trust me. Keep busy, go out, do things and see people. When i'm alone at home with nothing to do, that's when I felt the worst. And remember, everything happens for a reason :smile:

Reply 7

AvaAdore

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. I know you may be dying for answers right now but you may have to accept that you may not get them - even if you did they probably won't make sense to you right now.

Do you have friends around you? Now is a good time to get busy and to lean on your friends and shake up your routine.

Lastly I know you feel like your pain is the worst and no one can understand it, trust me everyone goes through this. At the time it's the worst, it's an isolating pain, and you feel like it's worse than other break ups. But one day you'll wake up and you'll notice you're doing better. You'll notice you haven't been thinking about it as much, it'll be a surprise. And before you know it, you WILL be over it and your whole perspective will have shift. It takes time buts it's really true when they say 'this too shall pass'. Feel free to let it out on here as much as you need

Reply 8

Scott.

I read the OP using Morgan Freemans voice.

Reply 9

Jaeger12

Thank you everyone.

I'm just so shocked. I feel like a complete idiot because I assumed we was ok, I didn't know he had been having these feelings. The day he ended it with me he was telling me he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. Within a few hours it was over. :-(

It's been a few days now and I just keep expecting that "I never meant it, i love you" Text. But it aint coming :frown:

Reply 10

Thickfreakness

You can handle this break up. For now, the wound is still fresh. What you're going through is completely normal, lots of people have been through it.

To help you get through this, there are a few things that will help. I've always found practical advice to be more useful than emotional support alone in break up situations. I'll list these things here, very briefly:

- Talk to your family. If you're close to any siblings, one of your parents or any of your relatives, talk to them about this and maybe they'll try to support you. But be considerate and don't drown them with your sorrows.
- Talk to your friends. If you have any close friends, they'll help get your mind off the break up. You can confide in them, get things off your chest and they'll support you. Once again, be considerate towards them. You don't want to suffocate them too much. Go out and have fun with your friends, do things with them, don't stay at home. Leave the house as much as you can.
- Immerse yourself in your studies or in your work (if you're employed). If you're currently on your summer holiday, this may not apply. Still, it's something to think about for the future.
- Make sure you get enough sleep and exercise. Watch your diet too, keep it healthy and keep it steady.
- Try to take up new hobbies, or re-establish your interest in old hobbies. Watch some tv, do some sport, go outside for walks, explore your town/city...you have so many options available to you in this day and age.

Ultimately, there is no escaping the pain of a break up. You can't simply force yourself to forget someone or to pretend that you're not hurting inside. All you can do is to distract yourself as best as possible. And the points I've detailed above should help you (even if in a very small way) to get through this.

One day, you'll wake up and he won't be the first thing that you think about. One day, when you think of him, you won't feel sadness, pain, bitterness or feel like you're missing him...all you'll feel is indifference. Once that day comes, it means that you're completely over the break up. But let's not set our sights too far ahead. For now, focus on those practical steps that I've outlined. Look after yourself. Push yourself every day to make sure you get into a regular routine that includes socialising, hobbies and exercise. This may seem completely irrelevant to your break up but it will help you to find your feet and regain your strength. It's a slow, gradual process that requires effort.

One last thing: it might be worth considering closing the door completely on this relationship. Instead of waiting, wishing and hoping for him to contact you again, you may consider instituting a no-contact policy. Read up about no contact, it's something that can help you hugely in the aftermath of a break up. It speeds up the healing process by encouraging you to let go instead of hanging onto false hope.

Disclaimer: I know almost nothing about your life, relationship or break up. This is a generic comment and I've made plenty of assumptions here. Some of the advice may not be suitable for you, depending on the circumstances of your relationship and break up. So take it with a pinch of salt.

Good luck to you stranger. One day, you'll look back on this and it'll be nothing more than a fuzzy memory.