Dating an older man = 'daddy issues"?

Well it's past 4am and my restless legs are keeping me awake long enough to think rambling thoughts - My current partner is technically old enough to be my father. This seems to cause some people in real life and on here to talk about resolving my 'daddy issues' - I am curious how many of you think that dating an older man must mean you have issues of this nature? Do you believe such a relationship can succeed long term?

Unsurprisingly I don't think this because

a. all of my exes but him have been my age - have I just suddenly developed daddy issues out of nowhere?
b. I get on with my father fine, but he has always been a much older father, so my partner in no way reminds me of him. Plus my partner is v young looking and acting anyway, his age was certainly a surprise in some ways.
C. While it is common for younger girls to date older men, it is also common for men to like sexy older women or MILFs without people thinking they have mummy issues. And an older man dating a younger woman isn't accused of having 'daughter issues' lol.

So yeah I'm just curious what your thoughts are really. Don't worry about offending me either

I guess the 'long term' part depends on his age

What is it that attracted you to him? If it was things like maturity and stability, then it might be bad past experiences with other people you've dated. But equally, people tend to be attracted to those sorts of things anyway. Do your friends think he is good looking?

So long as you're happy, and don't think it's a phase then I guess it shouldn't matter.

Well it's past 4am and my restless legs are keeping me awake long enough to think rambling thoughts - My current partner is technically old enough to be my father. This seems to cause some people in real life and on here to talk about resolving my 'daddy issues' - I am curious how many of you think that dating an older man must mean you have issues of this nature? Do you believe such a relationship can succeed long term?

Unsurprisingly I don't think this because

a. all of my exes but him have been my age - have I just suddenly developed daddy issues out of nowhere?
b. I get on with my father fine, but he has always been a much older father, so my partner in no way reminds me of him. Plus my partner is v young looking and acting anyway, his age was certainly a surprise in some ways.
C. While it is common for younger girls to date older men, it is also common for men to like sexy older women or MILFs without people thinking they have mummy issues. And an older man dating a younger woman isn't accused of having 'daughter issues' lol.

So yeah I'm just curious what your thoughts are really. Don't worry about offending me either

I'm not a sociologist but of course to a random stranger, seeing a seemingly young person with a seemingly (much) older person might look to them at a glance as a parent and child. So to resemble that whilst being sexual partners instead, one might call a man with an older woman a mommy's boy, and a woman with an older man a golddigger with daddy issues. Not that I agree because I never think about it to subscribe to one or the other. But I do understand the thinking of the layman who might think this way.

Now why do they think this? Simply because of what it looks like and some personal studies or experiences of theirs confirming this: that the younger guy wanted a mother role like to take care of him, pamper him (as a mom would). The younger woman might want the same, as a dad should. If they didn't get this as children then of course as sexual human beings now adults with unresolved issues, their dating choices will reflect.

So in short do what you want if it's not true. Or even if it is, whatever.

just as long as it's not your actual dad.

Not sure the last sentence was a necessary addition...

I knew someone would take issue with it but I felt it was a moral obligation to make it clear for my own conscience because perhaps if you read the whole post you'd see where there was a bit of an open door for a reader to sexualise the parent child relationship. Not judging just not something I wanna be vague about.

Erm fair enough... no i don't think most people jump to sexualise that relationship.

I know a 23 year old girl who dates a 50 year old. She has her haters but she's happy. It's not hurting anyone.

I'm not a sociologist but of course to a random stranger, seeing a seemingly young person with a seemingly (much) older person might look to them at a glance as a parent and child. So to resemble that whilst being sexual partners instead, one might call a man with an older woman a mommy's boy, and a woman with an older man a golddigger with daddy issues. Not that I agree because I never think about it to subscribe to one or the other. But I do understand the thinking of the layman who might think this way.

Now why do they think this? Simply because of what it looks like and some personal studies or experiences of theirs confirming this: that the younger guy wanted a mother role like to take care of him, pamper him (as a mom would). The younger woman might want the same, as a dad should. If they didn't get this as children then of course as sexual human beings now adults with unresolved issues, their dating choices will reflect.

So in short do what you want if it's not true. Or even if it is, whatever. just as long as it's not your actual dad.

why would people hate her for that, rather than hating the 50 year old.

Given what you've told us before I'd wager you definitely have issues that will influence your choice of mate however a history of partners your own age does probably mean no daddy issues.

That's interesting can I ask what you mean by that as in what issues do you think have influenced me here? Bearing in mind I thought he was approx 10 years younger for a good while - he really does look younger. I only really found out because he wanted to take things slow due to the age difference. We are super happy now though.

I can't say in this instance however you clearly had big problems in the past which will influence you.

Well my partner is black and I'm white so not much danger of him being my actual dad or people think we're father and daughter lol I deffo wasn't looking for someone to look after me, I have been looking after myself for a long time and I make good money. We both work in same industry. Thanks for your thoughts it is interesting

Ah I'm disappointed, I thought you were referring to the whole death/sexual assault/heroin addict/prison/more death thing but you were speaking generally, haha.

Well my partner is black and I'm white so not much danger of him being my actual dad or people think we're father and daughter lol I deffo wasn't looking for someone to look after me, I have been looking after myself for a long time and I make good money. We both work in same industry. Thanks for your thoughts it is interesting