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Secretive?

Hmm. Well I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now, but known each other a lot lot longer!
We are very close and have a great relationship. There is just one thing that bothers me slightly.
It is his computer. He is very very secretive about it. He is great with computers and is always programming etc. He spends a lot of time on it. I spent quite a lot of time with him and on the phone etc when at university.
However he is so secretive to the extent that he switches off his pc at the powerpoint if I even touch firefox. In some respects it doesn't worry me as everybody is entitled to privacy...I just wonder what the hell is on there. I doubt he is online cheating or anything as I know he loves me lots...It just intrigues me. It must be porn etc... I also know he has many interests which I know about, and he says he doesn't want me to see all of them as they might show weakness in his talents etc.

In our delightful relationship, this is the only issue. Am I worrying over nothing, and are most boys generally quite secretive and possessive? He lets his new emails pop up and there is never anything there....I guess I wouldn't like somebody to look through my pc even though he does a little, just because it is quite personal what I look at..

?? Any thoughts? Thanks

Reply 1

-steph-

2

well maybe he is just afraid that when u look at his pc u might really see who is. this might scare him cause he might have low self confidence and might think that u might break up with him.

It could be porn and he doesnt what u think about it?

Reply 2

SmilerNuts

15

My ex-girlfriend constantly tried to look through my phone, just cause she said she was curious. i didnt have anything on it that i needed to hide from her but i just preffered a bit of privacy

Reply 3

username72629

It could be nothing. I have nothing to hide on my pc but i hate having people mess with it.

Reply 4

cpj1987

15

My Mum used to have a habit of trying to look through my computer, and I'd switch it off by the plug to stop her (often causing more suspicion and huge arguments :-S).
I didn't have anything to hide, but in my case it was just the principle of it; I didn't agree with the fact that she thought she had the right to invade my privacy like that.
I don't know if this would be the same in a bf/gf relationship, but maybe he also thinks he deserves that privacy, even without things to hide; although I can understand your suspicions.

Reply 5

Crimson Black

13

He might be working for MI5 or SIS, and have incriminating files on his computer... you never know. He might be in the TA (although you'd probably know if he was) and have training files - I do, and they're encrypted, civvies aren't meant to see them, although it's hardly top-secret material, but I'm bound by military law to not show them to anyone - I'm being totally serious about this btw.

It's not just porn that makes people secretive. He might have a real secret that he'd rather you didn't know about.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Yes, bless him. Perhaps he just wants privacy which is understandable. I just worry. If it is porn, then nothing can be done about it really, as most boys go on it. Though I don't really appreciate the idea!

Reply 7

SmilerNuts

15

i've never been with a girl who has liked the idea of porn and a fair few tried to stop me looking at it which i thought was just ridiculous. in the end i jsut stopped letting them find out i did it

Reply 8

Zerforax

21

maybe he has reeeally weird porn :redface:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

i think that if a guy cant stop looking at it then they have a problem -- but if in the case it was porn he maybe is being secretive because he knows how youd feel about it

Reply 10

SmilerNuts

15

yeah its ok to look at it casually now and again but if it becomes a problem and you get addicted you need to get some professional help

Reply 11

Unique Brunette

i can understand why you're somewhat suspicious BUT i personally do not like anyone looking through my computer. i never let anyone do it, regardless of who they are... it may have private files, my stuff in general and its none of anyones business

i even dont like using my computer/internet in front of other people AND NO i do not watch any porn or such! I simply prefer sitting in a seat were the wall is behind me so no one can see the screen...

I dunno what your bf is up to, maybe as others said its porn. maybe its nothing?!

Reply 12

Tyler Durden

17

Two words: goat porn.

Reply 13

Llamaaa

15

maybe if he's good on a computer he is worried that you are not so good so you might break something or alter his settings.

nevertheless, i suspect porn or photos of ex girlfriends.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Maybe he's really a woman.

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

Ask him?

Reply 16

scribble_girl

14

Anonymous

Maybe he's really a woman.

Anonymous

Ask him?

Why anon?!?!
I wouldn't personally worry about it OP unless you've got reason to think there's anything shady going on :smile:

Reply 17

high priestess fnord

9

thats just really odd. i know some male friends have just given me warnings like oh btw the WoWweapons folder is actually porn stay out please, but ive never had anyone actually bar me from their pc. in fact like you said if someone was that secretive i would be very very curious.

explain to him that you realise you have no right to look at his pc but the way he is trying to hide it away from just intrigues you!

Reply 18

Blue!

1

I don't like people playing with my computer when I have work open, but I don't turn it off when people are around. There are many possible reasons for him doing this.
He doesn't want you to break his laptop.
He doesn't have anythinig to hide, but likes his privacy.
He does have something to hide, be it goat porn or other wise.
He ust wants to spend time with you, awwww.

Best thing to do is tell him that whilst you respect his privacy, you want him to know that there is nothing to hide from you, and that you want him to be able to tell you anything, even if it is that he likes goat porn. If he tells you, great, if he doesn't get him drunk and steal his laptop. (joke)

Reply 19

Lofty

13

We're not all like that, i don't really care who goes through my computer tbh :p: