The Student Room Group

ahh i'm well fed up. are you happy?

ahh i hate my life, im just really sad yet again and feel like crying. you've probably heard of this time after time. why is life so depressing?

i failed my a levels
i've deferred my place at university because i felt depressed all of the time and therefore wasn't ready for the experience
i have been abused in a relationship - he still rings me to this date giving me abuse on the phone and so does his mates, i really want revenge but i just don't know the best way to do this.
i'm back at home, i'm on job seekers, which I'm really ashamed of.
I've looked for plenty of jobs but they're all asking for experience and when I fill in an application form I don't hear from them.
I'm going to an agency tomorrow and im really frightened
i've lost my confidence
i've lost lots of weight, i look like a skeleton
i used to have muslces and i generally took pride in my appearance.
i get very depressed like now after i;ve had a dirnk but then again i feel like this when i'm sober for weeks on end.
i got angry the other day and hit my self. angry at my looks. i used to always hurt my self, i vowed to stop but i did it the other day.
i haven't achieved anything in my life in the last two years, ive just been a thing.
ah i have some good news, i had my ears pinned back two years ago and the operaiton wasn't successful, in April I'm having the operaiton redone again. i'm really looking forward to that. supose that get'd me through a lot of things. knowing my appearance won;t be such an issue after the operation.
ive just been to see my uni mates for the weekend, theyve bought me some nice clothes for my birthday. im going to miss them.
back at home i dont have any friends. maybe i have chosen to. i dont want to know my 'friends' at home because they are very selfish and make me unhappy.
i feel a bit better for writing this down. i'm gay - hate the fact i am as im really straight axting, im a lad lad, love sport and stuff. campnpeople put me off and the whole gay lifestyle' degrades me. m y mum doesnt accept it and the rest of my family dont even know.

what makes you happyn guys? please state it, i want to admire you all so it gives me some motivation. i want a role model

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Is it wise to post what makes us happy in our lives if that makes the OP unhappy? It could be dangerous.
mate, life is what you make of it, do what you want, don't be ashamed of who you are or what you do, just have fun, i personnally like going on exercises as it gets the blood pumping and you make great mates, best of luck to you
Are you getting any help?
Anonymous

ah i have some good news, i had my ears pinned back two years ago and the operaiton wasn't successful, in April I'm having the operaiton redone again. i'm really looking forward to that. supose that get'd me through a lot of things. knowing my appearance won;t be such an issue after the operation.
ive just been to see my uni mates for the weekend, theyve bought me some nice clothes for my birthday. im going to miss them.
back at home i dont have any friends. maybe i have chosen to. i dont want to know my 'friends' at home because they are very selfish and make me unhappy.
i feel a bit better for writing this down. i'm gay - hate the fact i am as im really straight axting, im a lad lad, love sport and stuff. campnpeople put me off and the whole gay lifestyle' degrades me. m y mum doesnt accept it and the rest l


Well, I think you should focus on the positive side a little more, just like above. You saw your friends and you'll see em again! I am miserable sometimes too, but something ALWAYS cheers me up. Phone up a family member or one of the mates you just saw, or even go and rent a movie or go somewhere, you may meet someone there!

Also, feel good about the fact that you dont act like some stereotypic gay. The whole 'overly-feminine' thing is quite annoying when its often so fake.

I know, you hear it tons and often it doesn;t make sense, but it's true:

just be youself.
Reply 5
youre going to uni next year. youre going to meet amazing people who will be your friends for life. youve achieved a place at uni in the past two years. which has secured your next three (or so) years.

well done.
nope - it's not wise. Instead I shall attempt to offer advice. It wasn't asked for, but oh well.

i failed my a levels

Okay, now really, this doesn't matter. You can retake them, or you can get a job. It might even be a very mediocre job that you end up getting, but you can work your way up. Have you been to see The Persuit of Happiness yet? It's fantastic, I recommend you see it. This guy goes from nothing to being a stockbroker. No qualifications to speak of either.
So don't worry - you can still make good of your life without A levels.

i've deferred my place at university because i felt depressed all of the time and therefore wasn't ready for the experience

Well as soon as you feel ready to go, you know you've got a place waiting for you. Brilliant! That's nothing to be sad about.

i have been abused in a relationship - he still rings me to this date giving me abuse on the phone and so does his mates, i really want revenge but i just don't know the best way to do this.

revenge is not the answer. The best thing to do is to change your number and get on with your life.
You will feel more free and happy.

i'm back at home, i'm on job seekers, which I'm really ashamed of.

My husband, daughter, and I had to live on job-seekers for 8 months while he was out of work. Yes, it sucks, but it's not forever. Be thankful that job seekers allowance exists in this country. You'd be far worse off if it didn't. And be glad that your parents are allowing you to live witih them - you have loving caring parents then who obviously want to help you. This is a good thing. Be grateful you have people who care about you.

I've looked for plenty of jobs but they're all asking for experience and when I fill in an application form I don't hear from them.

This happens, but don't lose heart. Keep trying and you'll find a job in the end. Where there's a will there's a way. Supermarkets are good places to try if you don't have experience.

I'm going to an agency tomorrow and im really frightened

Don't be scared. Hold your head up high. Thousands of people use agencies all the time.

i've lost my confidence

It'll come back, don't worry

i've lost lots of weight, i look like a skeleton
i used to have muslces and i generally took pride in my appearance.

You can build your body back up. It's not the end of the world.

i get very depressed like now after i;ve had a dirnk but then again i feel like this when i'm sober for weeks on end.

I think you should perhaps refrain from drinking, and I strongly suggest you see a counsellor or psychologist, if you haven't already.

i got angry the other day and hit my self. angry at my looks. i used to always hurt my self, i vowed to stop but i did it the other day.

again, you need some help. you need to talk to somebody who has experience in dealing with this. go to your doctor - you can get referred to a counsellor or somebody equivilent.

i haven't achieved anything in my life in the last two years, ive just been a thing.

I'm sure that's not true. If you think very hard I'm sure you'll come up with something that you've achieved. Even if it was just cheering somebody else up who was upset.

ah i have some good news, i had my ears pinned back two years ago and the operaiton wasn't successful, in April I'm having the operaiton redone again. i'm really looking forward to that. supose that get'd me through a lot of things. knowing my appearance won;t be such an issue after the operation.

there you go! that's the spirit! positivity!

ive just been to see my uni mates for the weekend, theyve bought me some nice clothes for my birthday. im going to miss them.

you'll see them again, it's not forever, and look - you've got some nice clothes, so that's good!

back at home i dont have any friends. maybe i have chosen to. i dont want to know my 'friends' at home because they are very selfish and make me unhappy.

make friends online then. don't worry, I never had many friends either. Don't rely on other people for happiness.

i feel a bit better for writing this down. i'm gay - hate the fact i am as im really straight axting, im a lad lad, love sport and stuff. campnpeople put me off and the whole gay lifestyle' degrades me. m y mum doesnt accept it and the rest of my family dont even know.

Everybody else will come around eventually, give it time. You need to learn to love yourself first.
Reply 7
fleur de lis
Are you getting any help?

:ditto: There are people and things out there to help with all of these problems. :smile:
Reply 8
thanks for the replies.

im not sure whether to go and seek help. ive had counsellors before., it is not what i want. ive been to the doctors no end of times in the pasrt about this, i only get referred to the social services so what;s the point. theyre useless.

i really dont know how im going to turn my life around. the good thing is though, i dpo see light at the end of the tunnel. everyday i see my self as a shining success (in the futue mind) but i just dont know how to get there.
I think you need some kind of support, to help you get your life back on track. Your post suggests you are struggling on your own. Why do you not want to see a counsellor? Is it because one's you have seen in the past have not helped?
Reply 10
basically yeah they don;t do anything to advance my life. they sit there and listen - i dont want that. infact i dont know what i want but someone sitting there listening to me will do nothing for me, so thats out of the quesiton.
hmm...how about reading a few self-help books then? Clichéd I know but some of them can be really good.
Reply 12
I am always happy :biggrin: No ammount of negativity will be enough to bring me down :smile:
Reply 13
XenaGlamRocker
hmm...how about reading a few self-help books then? Clichéd I know but some of them can be really good.

yeah that seems an option. i havent a clue what to buy though. do shops like waterstones sell them?
Yes Waterstones will sell them, any good book shop I imagine. There are different types of self help books to deal with different problems. Maybe do a search on the internet and see which ones are recommended, or have a look on amazon or something to see what's around?
Reply 15
fleur de lis
Yes Waterstones will sell them, any good book shop I imagine. There are different types of self help books to deal with different problems. Maybe do a search on the internet and see which ones are recommended, or have a look on amazon or something to see what's around?

thanks, yeah i will do that. :smile:
Reply 16
Overcoming Depression by Paul Gilbert - I've been prescribed that by my mental health worker. It's good. Well, if mental health professionals have chosen it then it's got to be...

Also, I wouldn't want to see a counsellor either. Admittedly I saw a school counsellor, which is not the most useful experience most of the time, but I don't feel a need to tell anyone about what's going on in my life; I just feel like I do, not necessarily because of events in my life. So there are other people you can see, not just counsellors. In fact my mental health worker is the first person my GP referred me to, she can refer me to counsellors etc (anything I want really) if I need/want it. Don't be afraid to ask your GP, and don't be put off if they're a bit useless - find another one!
Anonymous
ahh i hate my life, im just really sad yet again and feel like crying. you've probably heard of this time after time. why is life so depressing?

i failed my a levels
i've deferred my place at university because i felt depressed all of the time and therefore wasn't ready for the experience
i have been abused in a relationship - he still rings me to this date giving me abuse on the phone and so does his mates, i really want revenge but i just don't know the best way to do this.i'm back at home, i'm on job seekers, which I'm really ashamed of.
I've looked for plenty of jobs but they're all asking for experience and when I fill in an application form I don't hear from them.
I'm going to an agency tomorrow and im really frightened
i've lost my confidence
i've lost lots of weight, i look like a skeleton
i used to have muslces and i generally took pride in my appearance.
i get very depressed like now after i;ve had a dirnk but then again i feel like this when i'm sober for weeks on end.
i got angry the other day and hit my self. angry at my looks. i used to always hurt my self, i vowed to stop but i did it the other day.
i haven't achieved anything in my life in the last two years, ive just been a thing.
ah i have some good news, i had my ears pinned back two years ago and the operaiton wasn't successful, in April I'm having the operaiton redone again. i'm really looking forward to that. supose that get'd me through a lot of things. knowing my appearance won;t be such an issue after the operation.
ive just been to see my uni mates for the weekend, theyve bought me some nice clothes for my birthday. im going to miss them.
back at home i dont have any friends. maybe i have chosen to. i dont want to know my 'friends' at home because they are very selfish and make me unhappy.
i feel a bit better for writing this down. i'm gay - hate the fact i am as im really straight axting, im a lad lad, love sport and stuff. campnpeople put me off and the whole gay lifestyle' degrades me. m y mum doesnt accept it and the rest of my family dont even know.

what makes you happyn guys? please state it, i want to admire you all so it gives me some motivation. i want a role model


Hopefully I can help you with some of those things:

1) Your Ex: call your mobile operator and ask them to block your Ex's number. I've done that before (on Orange), my mum's Ex was upsetting her :angry:
2) Achievement/confidence/a-levels/uni thing: you need a plan. A plan on what to do with your life. Preferably a Five Year Plan (ignore the fact that I'm Russian :p:) Where do you want to be in 5 years? You'll be 23. Happy. Successful. At the beginning of your carreer as xyz. In a relationship. Happy with your appearance and in general happy with your personality. Then take each of those and think about how you can achieve that. As off tomorrow, you are going to study twice a week to be up to scratch when uni comes. As of tomorrow, you'll go to the gym twice a week OR sign up in a football club, whatever. As of tomorrow, every time you buy clothes, you make sure that it flatters you no end. Else don't buy it. As of tomorrow, you go round the shops / local offices asking to work for them for FREE to get experience. If you want to be in the property market, shadow a mortgage advisor. If you want to be a teacher, work in a primary school as an assistant. Make sure it fits your career, don't just look for any job. This job should make your Five Year Plan come true. Right, relationships. As of tomorrow, you won't rush into one. In fact, don't look for a boyfriend for 6 months at least, until you are happier with your appearance and you are more confident. The happiness thing. Do you have a passion? While you're on the internet, search for a couple of things you like. Do you generally like planes? Look up aviation. May be you could work in an airport even? Do you like history? Find yourself a couple of examples of historical fiction books. Go back to TSR and create a society for your hobby, or join on if it's already there. And remember: You have to do whatever it takes, whatever sacrifices you need to make to achieve your Five Year Goal, and you know why? Because if you do achieve your goal, your life will be everything you wanted it to be, and you'll be a happy interesting confident person. You just need a plan :cool: If you fancy it, post your goals / ambitions/ targets in this thread or PM me, and I'll try to help you make your plan realistic and motivating :smile: Good luck :hugs:
Anonymous
ahh i hate my life, im just really sad yet again and feel like crying. you've probably heard of this time after time. why is life so depressing?

i failed my a levels
i've deferred my place at university because i felt depressed all of the time and therefore wasn't ready for the experience
i have been abused in a relationship - he still rings me to this date giving me abuse on the phone and so does his mates, i really want revenge but i just don't know the best way to do this.
i'm back at home, i'm on job seekers, which I'm really ashamed of.
I've looked for plenty of jobs but they're all asking for experience and when I fill in an application form I don't hear from them.
I'm going to an agency tomorrow and im really frightened
i've lost my confidence
i've lost lots of weight, i look like a skeleton
i used to have muslces and i generally took pride in my appearance.
i get very depressed like now after i;ve had a dirnk but then again i feel like this when i'm sober for weeks on end.
i got angry the other day and hit my self. angry at my looks. i used to always hurt my self, i vowed to stop but i did it the other day.
i haven't achieved anything in my life in the last two years, ive just been a thing.
ah i have some good news, i had my ears pinned back two years ago and the operaiton wasn't successful, in April I'm having the operaiton redone again. i'm really looking forward to that. supose that get'd me through a lot of things. knowing my appearance won;t be such an issue after the operation.
ive just been to see my uni mates for the weekend, theyve bought me some nice clothes for my birthday. im going to miss them.
back at home i dont have any friends. maybe i have chosen to. i dont want to know my 'friends' at home because they are very selfish and make me unhappy.
i feel a bit better for writing this down. i'm gay - hate the fact i am as im really straight axting, im a lad lad, love sport and stuff. campnpeople put me off and the whole gay lifestyle' degrades me. m y mum doesnt accept it and the rest of my family dont even know.

what makes you happyn guys? please state it, i want to admire you all so it gives me some motivation. i want a role model



Firstly, by deferring your place at university you've probably done the right thing. I went to university with depression and really wasn't ready for it and I ended up contemplating suicide because it was just too much.

You shouldn't be ashamed of being on job seekers. If the money's there and it's available to you then you take it, it's so difficult to find a job and you need that financial support. The government are a bunch of tossers anyway, they can afford it.

About being abused in a relationship, I'm sorry that happened. If he and his mates are ringing you up giving you abuse then do what I'd done to get rid of someone and ignore all calls, plus switch voicemail off and if you get any text messages from them then delete them without even reading them. They're not worth your time.

I know what you mean about not wanting to know friends from back home. I've had to cut someone out of my life because they make me feel so bad about myself. If someone is selfish and uses your emotions for their own gain then they're not worth it, seriously.

I wouldn't say I'm happy, but since going on anti-depressants I've been a lot more stable. I have more of an idea what I want to do with my life because I've given myself the right kind of environment and time to think about it. The best thing anyone's ever said to me is "Baby steps. Take baby steps". Set yourself little targets that are easily attainable to begin with.
Reply 19
If you are having trouble with the big picture, as I often do, I find it helps to focuss on small projects. Motivating onese;f for life is a daunting propasal, instead focuss on a few small things that make you have. Take up a hobby that you enjoy, and learn to get motivated in that, the motivation will invariably spill over into other things. As mr(s) non just said, it's all about the baby steps :smile:

I have many little projects, being a web designer, I often set myself the target of building a certain web site. It gives me something to do, something to get motivated about. At the least it is a distraction.

Find yourself something to do, doing nothing, sitting in your room really doesn't help :smile:

Talk to someone, someone real (i.e not on a computer screen) If you don't feel comfortable talking to your family or friends, try conselling.