The Student Room Group

Terrible first date! How can I get out asap?

I met a guy at a party, I was very very drunk and we pulled. He seemed nice at the time and I agreed to see him again...
Sooo we went out for drinks a couple days later. It was going pretty well at first, until I was talking about my family, and he unexpectedly interrupted me saying "I got this tattoo because I've tried to kill myself three times"..
He then suggested I go on holiday with him, get a flat together, kept trying to kiss me after I'd made it clear I just wanted to get to know him better, like he actually would not take no for an answer and almost followed me home?! Saying he'd only let me walk home alone if I gave him a kiss (which I didn't) and that I had to text him to let him know I managed the 15 minute walk..

Uhh so the next morning one of his friends who I've never met or spoken to messaged me on facebook asking where he is with a wink face, bit worried he's pretending he came home with me to his friends?? Or maybe they're asking me if he's ok cause he's very unstable and they're worried about him if he doesn't answer his phone..?

He said he wants to see me again, and I'm trying to work out the best way to make it clear to him I do not want to date. He did seem very unstable and clingy (physically and emotionally) so I don't want to risk making him even worse, it's like he feels like I'm his girlfriend for agreeing to go out for drinks with him one time. It's very awkward and I want out asap!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?p=57737925&highlight=

that guy cant be that amazing then.
Just don't talk to him?
Reply 3
Avatar for AvaAdore
AvaAdore
8
With all due respect you're making way too big a deal of it. People do this all the time, just say you had an alright time but you've realised you don't want to date right now or you're not really interested. Simple. You don't need to make a huge drama out of it.
Original post by Sam Walters


He ended it with me actually, he just wasn't interested, so I'm moving on. :smile:
Original post by Ed's Balls
Just don't talk to him?


Sound advice. How many women used it with you, until you met your wife? :tongue:
Original post by AvaAdore
With all due respect you're making way too big a deal of it. People do this all the time, just say you had an alright time but you've realised you don't want to date right now or you're not really interested. Simple. You don't need to make a huge drama out of it.


I'm not trying to make a huge drama out of it, that's the opposite of what I'm doing! I'd like to tell him in a nice but clear way, that's all
Original post by Beherit95
He ended it with me actually, he just wasn't interested, so I'm moving on. :smile:


Send him a text simply saying all your concerns you've listed in the above post.

Screen shot it and send it to his friend whom messaged you. Ensure the message is fairly civil then block him.

Might go some way towards getting him to sort himself out. Pressure from external peers.
Original post by william walker
Sound advice. How many women used it with you, until you met your wife? :tongue:


I have a feeling you're not going to stop with this anytime soon..
Reply 9
Avatar for AvaAdore
AvaAdore
8
Original post by Beherit95
I'm not trying to make a huge drama out of it, that's the opposite of what I'm doing! I'd like to tell him in a nice but clear way, that's all


What I just suggested is a nice clear way. Easy.
Reply 10
Avatar for Tom78
Tom78
18
Tell him plainly that you are not interested, don't respond to further messages. Sorted.
Original post by Sam Walters
Send him a text simply saying all your concerns you've listed in the above post.

Screen shot it and send it to his friend whom messaged you. Ensure the message is fairly civil then block him.

Might go some way towards getting him to sort himself out. Pressure from external peers.


Definitely do not do this ever.
Reply 12
Avatar for llys
llys
17
Do not try to phrase it in a "nice" flowery way that leaves room for interpretation, i.e. do say "I do not want to date you. Goodbye." and do not say "I'm so sorry but I think this may not be working xx". Unfortunately he sounds like the kind of person who would see the second type of statement as an invitation to keep pursuing you / as you "playing hard to get". Don't be rude, but be very clear.

After that do not reply to any messages under any circumstances. Don't even read them, just delete them outright if you can't block them.
Original post by AvaAdore
Definitely do not do this ever.


He needs dragging back into normality.

Its not as if its a break up is it.....

If truth be told I probably needed it at one point. But i learned the hard way.

What you suggest is a non confronting manner that doesn't help him. Its harsher in the long run.

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