Is the age gap really a huge problem..? Watch

Anonymous #1
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There's a slight age gap of three years between me and my girlfriend..I'm 18 and she is 15. Before I get to the point I just want to say that she is mature for her age, her parents approve of me and we're not going to sleep together or anything like that until she is 16 and even then there is no rush.

At first my friends were happy for me and always had the odd dig calling me a 'peado' and walking past children's play areas and then saying "That's where you met your girlfriend wasn't it?" And at first I used to laugh with them and it was funny but over time now they're still going on about it. The other day I was away with two friends and we called my girlfriend over Facebook, where my friend just started saying stuff and after so long he just started going onto my girlfriend and her friend who was with her about how they were too "young and dumb to understand the banter" or something like that. I didn't realise until last night when she was telling me, but I found out that really annoyed and upset them slightly too.

In all fairness, I don't want to prefer her over my friends and them over her either.But them going on and on about it is actually really annoying me now. It's making me question this relationship a little and making me think really. I mean I turn 19 tomorrow and she's not 16 for another few months. One friend asked me if I go to university in September and somebody asks me what she does, would I admit she's still in school? Now that is something I thought myself but with somebody else thinking and saying it, that really made me think..

I really do like her but I am questioning this age difference to myself now. I said earlier that she is mature for her age and I did actually think she was 16/17 when I first met her, and in all fairness I think mentally I'm probably around the 16/17 age so for maturity I think we are probably similar ages it's just the true age that seems to be an issue in this day and age..

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georgiaswift
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If you're both legal and consenting then it's fine. She's not legally old enough and so is not capable of giving consent to anything sexual - such as blow jobs etc, so bear in mind that that would be statutory rape if you have oral sex.

Also, you're thinking that you'd be unwilling to tell people that she's still in school, especially considering she's just finished her GCSEs. If you're embarrassed or trying to hide things about her, maybe she isn't the right one for you.

That said, don't let your friends pressure you into breaking up with you. It's ultimately your decision on what you want to do, but you don't sound particularly convinced that being with her is the right thing to do
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TomMatt
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Realistically most people will see it quite negatively, not really so much as the difference in age but the more of the fact she's a child and you're an adult. That is going to seem really dodgy to A LOT of people and It puts you in a very precarious situation legally, especially if the relationship goes sour. It could easily turn in to a "He said, She said" argument and the bias would be against you for certain.

Also do her parents know about you? are they happy with the relationship? because again that could cause you issues in the future.

Personally I think you should break it off, it'll will undoubtedly cause a great deal more social awkwardness if it hasn't already, to most it's going to be seen as creepy.
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Drunken Bard
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Most people I know had a one year younger rule.

Others had a two year younger rule.

It might seem strange to some considering she isn't 16, but if you like her then stuff everyone else.
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starlight82
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As long as you wait to do anything sexual with her until she's 16, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Three years isn't much, especially if you really someone Don't worry.
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Thatawesomegally
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There's a slight age gap of three years between me and my girlfriend..I'm 18 and she is 15. Before I get to the point I just want to say that she is mature for her age, her parents approve of me and we're not going to sleep together or anything like that until she is 16 and even then there is no rush.

At first my friends were happy for me and always had the odd dig calling me a 'peado' and walking past children's play areas and then saying "That's where you met your girlfriend wasn't it?" And at first I used to laugh with them and it was funny but over time now they're still going on about it. The other day I was away with two friends and we called my girlfriend over Facebook, where my friend just started saying stuff and after so long he just started going onto my girlfriend and her friend who was with her about how they were too "young and dumb to understand the banter" or something like that. I didn't realise until last night when she was telling me, but I found out that really annoyed and upset them slightly too.

In all fairness, I don't want to prefer her over my friends and them over her either.But them going on and on about it is actually really annoying me now. It's making me question this relationship a little and making me think really. I mean I turn 19 tomorrow and she's not 16 for another few months. One friend asked me if I go to university in September and somebody asks me what she does, would I admit she's still in school? Now that is something I thought myself but with somebody else thinking and saying it, that really made me think..

I really do like her but I am questioning this age difference to myself now. I said earlier that she is mature for her age and I did actually think she was 16/17 when I first met her, and in all fairness I think mentally I'm probably around the 16/17 age so for maturity I think we are probably similar ages it's just the true age that seems to be an issue in this day and age..

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I think it's because she's 15 years old
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
If you're both legal and consenting then it's fine. She's not legally old enough and so is not capable of giving consent to anything sexual - such as blow jobs etc, so bear in mind that that would be statutory rape if you have oral sex.

Also, you're thinking that you'd be unwilling to tell people that she's still in school, especially considering she's just finished her GCSEs. If you're embarrassed or trying to hide things about her, maybe she isn't the right one for you.
We haven't been together all that long, just a few months but at the moment she's just causing me a little stress and pain and often leaving me wondering where I stand..

My girlfriend is literally perfect and I should be the happiest guy alive to have her but sometimes she just lacks a bit of love and affection with me really. I've found out from her mum that she lacks putting effort in with friends and family so not just me. My girlfriend has also admitted to me personally that she's not 'soft' and that she is just laid back with people and that probably won't be changing soon.

But I'm pretty much a guy who wants a girlfriend to show some love and affection. Like I said, it is easily days and perhaps she is just nervous to but I'm not too sure.. I've just been on holiday with some friends and I just kind of felt like she hardly wanted to talk to me whilst I was there. We spoke a bit but she wasn't putting effort in or asking me how I was or what I'd be up to, and any normal girlfriend would be missing their boyfriend like crazy and wanting to talk to them every opportunity they had. My friend saw that I was a bit down over it and said "you're not happy with her are you?" And I told him he was right.

I don't want to lose her as my girlfriend because she means so much to me, yet it's also hurting staying with her. I just don't know what to do anymore?
That said, don't let your friends pressure you into breaking up with you. It's ultimately your decision on what you want to do, but you don't sound particularly convinced that being with her is the right thing to do
That's the thing, she's not completed her GCSE's yet as she will be going into her final year of school in September so she hasn't quite completed it yet..things probably would be slightly different if she had just finished.

But thanks for your answer and help :P
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Bobbi!
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My friend started a relationship with a 20 year old when she was 15 and a few months. OF COURSE the majority of his friends and people the both knew looked down on it and gave him a lot of hassle, calling him a pedo, etc. (slightly different as they actually were having sex but.... ) He lost a lot of friends. But she was the love of his life and they stayed together for 6 years, even having a little girl together. Eventually she broke up with him and I believe they would have got back together but tragically he died a few months later.

I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 25. I was 18 by the time we got together, and although we also had comments about the age gap, and sometimes still do, we work really well as a couple.

In many cultures, the age of consent is younger and does that make our society any more correct? ( within reason e.g. a 12year old marrying a 30 year old is wrong. but in Germany the age of consent is 14)


So no, the age gap is not too much if she is special to you. Just don't break the law if you can help it.
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bailfire
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It is a huge deal for now, shes 15 and you are 18. In the eyes of the law its illegal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TomMatt)
Realistically most people will see it quite negatively, not really so much as the difference in age but the more of the fact she's a child and you're an adult. That is going to seem really dodgy to A LOT of people and It puts you in a very precarious situation legally, especially if the relationship goes sour. It could easily turn in to a "He said, She said" argument and the bias would be against you for certain.

Also do her parents know about you? are they happy with the relationship? because again that could cause you issues in the future.

Personally I think you should break it off, it'll will undoubtedly cause a great deal more social awkwardness if it hasn't already, to most it's going to be seen as creepy.
I've met her parents numerous times now and in all fairness I'm as close with her mum than I am with her. I won't go into details but we've basically built up trust and confidence and she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about things like for example the age difference suddenly hit her one day and she was worried I was in it for the sex, but I reassured her that I'm not in this relationship just for that and she really did feel better after that
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georgiaswift
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's the thing, she's not completed her GCSE's yet as she will be going into her final year of school in September so she hasn't quite completed it yet..things probably would be slightly different if she had just finished.

But thanks for your answer and help :P
That's not really the important bit? The point is that you seem uncomfortable telling people how old she is. If you genuinely like her then it doesn't matter what other people think, but if you're really concerned about the age gap, then maybe she isn't the one for you
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Maid Marian
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Three years as an age gap is nothing.

However, she is underage so don't do anything until she turns 16 :afraid:
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harry734
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these weird threads are all over this ****ing site, she's 15... leave her alone
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
That's not really the important bit? The point is that you seem uncomfortable telling people how old she is. If you genuinely like her then it doesn't matter what other people think, but if you're really concerned about the age gap, then maybe she isn't the one for you
The only reason I am uncomfortable telling people the age difference is because of my friends already winding me up about her. Some of them are joking but some the other week got serious about it and really upset me, just depends who I would be telling I guess
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lyrical_lie
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Personally I would think it's a bit strange considering she is still in school. When I look back on what I was like at that age, or my sister I would probably not be happy if an 18 year old man was trying to get with a 15 year old. Even if it's not sexual, to me it would be strange. Saying that, 3 years isn't the issue. I mean there's 2 and a half between my boyfriend and I. However only one academic year between us. Thus we're at the same stage in our lives. Getting our first grad jobs. Meeting new people. All these kind of things, which makes it different than if one was still at school.
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ammejow
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A 3 year age gap really isn't a massive deal at all. I get that she's under the age of 16 and there's legal boundaries or whatever but as soon as she turns 16 that won't be a problem anymore. There's a 3+ year gap between lots of couples and if it really is a serious relationship, in 2/3 years time the age gap won't even seem that significant. I had a friend who was with a 20 year old when she was 14 so there's definitely bigger age gaps than yours.

As for your friends, try to ignore their comments about her being young. Hopefully they'll grow used the age gap and stop mentioning it eventually. Or if it's really bothering you, surely mentioning that you find it annoying wouldn't do any harm.

I don't see any reason why you should have to break up. If you're happy and as long as you're not doing anything illegal then you're really not at fault.

I hope everything sorts itself out
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