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Really messed up and annoyed

I know this is and what I did is really immature for 20 but it really does feel like the end of the world! Basically for the past 5 weeks at college we have had exams in the form of presentations in groups, were supposed to successfully do 3 to pass so yesterday I got everything ready, downloaded material and went to bed early at 10.30 pm. I had specifically got up at 8.00 the morning before so I would sleep well last night. Anyway I was just lying there all night and couldn't sleep, I was getting really pissed off with myself.

At 4.30 am I heard my mum go downstairs on her computer cause she couldn't sleep as well and I kept hearing her pc beep, I went downstairs and told her I couldn't sleep and have to be up early tomorrow (didn't mention the noise) and she said 'well its not my problem Ive told you you need to get your sleeping pattern sorted out and I said well will you turn the speakers down and she said 'ffs can I not have any piece Im sick of you' she turned the whole pc off and went to slap me but I was fuming mainly at myself not being able to get to sleep so I just banged my head against the wall really hard I just felt like it.

It shows how immature I am but im sick of myself, now I have an headache and have missed 2 exams (I had one in the afternoon too). My mum says im mental and that she can't stand me and I can't stand myself but why do I think these things only happen to me, has anyone here been up all night and missed exams because of it? I couldn't go I felt really sick which is my own fault but Ive applied to uni as well so probably won't get in and if I do how the hell will I cope if I can't with college.

Basically im asking what is the best thing to do now they were important exams which I can't retake expecially the presentation, im thinking of quiting but I only have until July, also how can I stop being so immature and get to sleep like normal? I usually take sleeping tablets on important nights but didn't last night because I thought Id be able to sleep. Wish I had now.

Reply 1

Ancient Beast

I take it you live at home whilst studying at uni?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Ancient Beast

I take it you live at home whilst studying at uni?

Im at college but have applied to uni

Reply 3

FadedJade

They're at college, they've applied to uni.

Reply 4

sidi

As you only have to pass 3 presentations are you not still in with a chance? Try speaking to the college about your sleeping problems and explain why you missed the exam - it's worth a go even if they don't accept it. There's no point in quitting till you know definitely that you have failed so don't be hasty.

Reply 5

Llamaaa

firstly, you will probably find that uni is more relaxed than college. I mean the work load is heavier and harder, but there is a nice atmosphere to go with it so everything feels more relaxed. If you go to uni will you live in halls or a flat there or stay at home? It's probably less stressful to move away. it seems to me that your mum doesn't really understand just how much stress there is in college, so it is probably best that you move elsewhere when you finish. There is no use in predicting whether you will get into uni or not- you generally think you did worse than you actually did. Were your exams vital that you missed? could you take them another day? Also, i understand the frustration that you just want to hit something really hard, but please, not your head. that can be terribly painful. Hit a cushion or throw one against the wall. If you can, invest in a punch bag. Stress, frustration and anger can make you really reach boiling point so you need a way to vent those emotions so they don't come out in an agressive or destructive form. Perhaps take up running. Give yourself some time to clear your mind.

I hope everything goes well for you.