Extremely Strict Muslim Mother

I'm 17, Muslim and female I have an over controlling mother who wants me to complete this 'Islamic scholars' course which takes a lot of time, takes roughly between 8-9 years part time and 5-6 years full time I agreed to do it when I was 14 part time Now, when I was 16 and wanted to start sixth form, I told my mom I don't think I'd be able to cope with both A levels and the course as they both require time and dedication but she threatened to take away my phone, stop me from going to sixth form and not talk to me at all, and convince the rest of my family to do the same, so I was forced to carry on so I did But now it's gotten to the point where I physically can't cope anymore, so I told my mom I want to take a break for a year from the course and after a lot of arguments she agreed Now it's been a year and she wants me to go back, but I begged her and said no, so she took my phone off me And we had a lot of arguments, And she said from now on I'm dead for her and she doesn't care about me She also won't let me go to university even though I really wanted to And my dad just listens to her because he's chronically depressed, and my siblings don't want to take my side otherwise she'll make their life a living hell, she sometimes just lashes out on me and hits me and I don't know what to do She's ruining all my opportunities and making me feel like an outcast and unwanted in my own home and I just feel really depressed What can I do

Reply 1

username1148663

Original post by Anonymous

I do, go to uni and in doing so you will have left home.

Your mother sounds like a fundamentalist not a strict Muslim.

Do and believe everything I say regarding religion or else is what you are being told.

Speak to student finance England now as there is financial support available in situations like this

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Reply 2

User2082079

Original post by Anonymous

I told my mom I don't think I'd be able to cope with both A levels and the course as they both require time and dedication but she threatened to take away my phone, stop me from going to sixth form and not talk to me at all

I can empathise with you. ∩︿∩ Balancing both secular and Islamic studies is no doubt difficult, and to have to complete it in a set period can be somewhat daunting. My mother (like yours) also threatened and took my phone away from me during exam season. I got it back just recently. What I did was plead for some time off — a break or a respite almost. Surprisingly, she consented to it, but under her set conditions.

Once sixth form is over for me, I plan on discontinuing any further secular studies, because really, it's totally unnecessary. ~>_<~ Establish and set up with the intention that you will leave one day, because you will. After all, your Hereafter is more consequential, nay?

Original post by Anonymous

it's gotten to the point where I physically can't cope anymore

.-. By Allah, I understand how you feel. Ask your mother for one more year off perhaps? To pull yourself together? I'm just as lost as you… How about seeing it through to the end? You don't have much long left, do you? Soldier on. :3

Original post by Anonymous

we had a lot of arguments, And she said from now on I'm dead for her and she doesn't care about me

All I have to say is, be sure of the fact that she doesn't mean it.

Original post by Anonymous

She's ruining all my opportunities

I wouldn't say that she's ruining it for you… She knows what's best for you. :| Over the years university graduates have struggled in the long run, unlike those who did apprenticeships or started working after sixth form. Try and understand her reasons.

Original post by Anonymous

making me feel like an outcast and unwanted in my own home and I just feel really depressed

Please speak to her. You really need to have a word with her and try understand her reasons.

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I wish you all the best with your studies. :smile:

Reply 3

Warrior Gene

be gentle with your mother and request her that you need some rest. You must study about Islam too make up your mind and try to gently explain it to your mother and never ever argue with her do not shout back at her or become angry. Just discuss the issue with her in a calm manner.

Reply 4

New- Emperor

Original post by Anonymous

Call child line or so thing you are 17 so they will help you also apply for uni don't tell your mum do you have an understanding uncial or something can you talk to them they may be willing to help you are you a practicing g Muslim can you talk to your religious leader mabey he can help.