How to break up with someone, and keep them as your best friend

I love my boyfriend, but no longer in the romantic sense. However, he is my best friend in the entire world and I couldn't cope with losing him that way. Is there a tried and tested way to split up with someone and remain best friends? He seems very into me which is why I'm sure I'd lose him if we broke up. Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

john171

11

lol Never works.

Reply 2

scribble_girl

14

This one's been done before, it IS possible but only after you've both had a period of very little contact so everyone can lick their wounds. If you jump into it straight from the offset, unless you've only been together a few weeks and you've not 'got used to' being a couple.

Basically, stay friends - not best friends - and reasses in a couple of months :smile:

Reply 3

romeosbitch

15

doesnt work.
i mutually broke up with someone as it was long distance and wasnt working out.
we were best friends and i tried really hard to keep it that way but the other person seemed to put zero effort into our friendship, probably why our relationship didnt work out and now we havent text each other in a week. i know thats not a very long time but when you get used to talking to each other a lot, it seems like ages.

in answer to your question: no.
sorry!

Reply 4

Triplet1

13

it doesnt work.

EDIT - it can work, but often doesnt

Reply 5

Rusty33

I would never let it work. If we're moving on, we're moving on.

Reply 6

kORiNO

to quote sumone who once said this to me...to lose the love of your life and be told u can still b friends is like your dog dying and ur mum saying u can keep him...soz gal but it aint gon happen..

Reply 7

Time Tourist

9

How are you supposed to get over each other and move on if you're still best friends. I just broke up with my g/f of 6 months about half hr ago :frown:

was pretty serious relationship , even living together for a while as we where flatmates at uni so we got very close, but i knew we weren't right for eachother and its ended now, although she's a lovely girl and i really care about her a lot. I don't want to loose the friendship but i guess we are gona have to move on now and that means not really seeing eachother.

Reply 8

Love Sheep

1

This is a horrible situation and I sympathise. I've been through it, like all these people here, and I agree with them.
You cannot re-write a relationship unless you don't see each other for a long time, until you've both healed.
Save the both of you a lot of pain and leave him alone to get over it, you will also need to as well.
Be strong.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

i think im in the same situation. I love my boyfriend so much but we got together young and i think its that weve just grown used to being together, its been 3 years now! I find myself looking at other people and being attracted to them. I just dont see my boyfriend in that way any more! But i cant stand the thought of not being close to him and great friends, we were such good friends before we got together too which makes it worse! And id lose his family too who im very close to, he's close to mine too!

I dont think he sees there being a problem though.

What to do?!?!?!?! Im so stressed!

Reply 10

Love Sheep

1

Write a list of pros and cons. Have a good long look at your life, imagine it without him. If it seems impossible, then maybe you don't want to leave him. However, if you can see yourself happy, and not regretting your decision, then finish with him as tactfully as possible.
Carry on despite the hurt. If it's what you want, then in the end it'll all be OK. If you need to talk, you can PM me. :-)

Reply 11

Talya

16

You can't force him to be your best friend. If you seem keen on remaining friends he may still think he has a chance which is worse for both of you.

Reply 12

Anthonyjm71

9

Anonymous

i think im in the same situation. I love my boyfriend so much but we got together young and i think its that weve just grown used to being together, its been 3 years now! I find myself looking at other people and being attracted to them. I just dont see my boyfriend in that way any more! But i cant stand the thought of not being close to him and great friends, we were such good friends before we got together too which makes it worse! And id lose his family too who im very close to, he's close to mine too!

I dont think he sees there being a problem though.

What to do?!?!?!?! Im so stressed!

you've got to step back view the situation you're in and make a firm dession in that you both need to do in reaching a suitable conclution on how you feel.

Reply 13

DoMakeSayThink

15

I'm still good friends with a girl who I was with for a year or so. Not best friends, but we still chat most days, and will go to each other if we need someone to talk to. We took a reasonable length break from seeing one another after breaking up, though... and there was more mess, but kinda irrelevant.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

If that was me I would find it very hard, its just prolongs the pain for one or both of you. As suggested I would take a break for a few months, then meet up and see how things are. It rarely goes straight into a friendship as the feelings are still there and it takes time to get over it.

Reply 15

AnarchoPaddy

john171

lol Never works.

Untrue. It does work. It just requires maturity on both sides.

The best way forwards is to be understanding and calm and pleasant and honest about the situation. Then leave it up to him. If he chooses to stay in touch, hurrah! If not, c'est la vie.

Reply 16

lollipopsticks

1

my bf wanted space but still wants to be friends.im not strong enough for this but i dont wana loose him totally.still talk to him everyday and c him 2/3 times a week.stayed the other week too :frown:

i just cant give it up like he can :frown:

feels like nothing has changed but his friends r my friends and i love his family to pieces.i feel like a stalker but i think he likes my company he asks me to come see him etc :frown:

Reply 17

Trigger

18

Its not your choice whether you stay friends or not, its his

Reply 18

MissHero

1

It's difficult, especially if he still loves you; you can't just tell someone you don't love them anymore, and expect them to find it easy to be around you; he needs time to get over things. Even then, there's a chance that he's going to feel rejected and hurt and not want to be close to you anymore. Unfortunately I'm speaking from experience, my ex was a lovely guy but things didn't work out once I started uni, and even though we said we'd stay friends it hasn't really happen. Ultimately you've got to decide what you want more, as you can rarely have both. If you don't want to be in a relationship with him, you need to finish it because it's not fair on either of you, but you'll just have to take the risk with the friends thing I'm afraid.

Reply 19

Unique Brunette

I personally can't see it happening. If he still loves u in a romantic way then it just won't happen. So you either have it all now, or nothing at all... sorry that's my point of view

How to break up with someone, and keep them as your best friend

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