The Student Room Group

Being Funny

As a sorta prescript this is gonna be long, so if you've an attention span as short as mine, getttt outttt!! lol. Well as the title suggests I'm having some difficulty tickling the funny bone of me peers (17 atm). I'm what you might call clinically depressed, least I think I am, and so do most of the people I know and care about (close friends and parents etc). I don't have a zest for life anymore, have trouble getting motivated or interested and all the usual symptoms that go along with that ****ty illness. I'm going to the docs on Thursday to see for good and all if it's not just me actin a Drama King and exaggerating.

I've no shortage in friends, but me social skills imo are in a word; pants, I find it hard to keep a natural fluid flow to the majority of my conversations, even with friends who I've known for years, best friends, friends who consider me to be one of their closest companions and vice versa. So, as ye can imagine it's annoying me to no end, but as far back as I can remember I've been this way, it's never bothered me so acutely until now though, when I started to really pump diesel into me social life by going out instead of shunning alcohol like I used too.

Most people consider me likeable, but on a par with the rest of me friends and their wit and conversation skills I feel really really weak. I have no confidence with strangers, women or even long known elders like teachers. I've been like this my whole life and until maybe a year ago I think I've been suffering from mild depression, a depression worsened when I entered the whole new world of alcohol (saw how crap me social skills where when I moved out of the 'comfort zone').

Close friends are telling me that I had a 'Golden Past' as such, when I was a happy ****er, took things as they came and had a rosier outlook to life, but for the life of me I can't remember ever being content or comfortable with the skin I'm in, not wholly anyway, I've always considered myself depressed and restless. On top of that my best friend says I was witty once upon a time, so I guess I'm lookin' for the old mojo so to speak.

I can crack the odd funny statement but I feel sorta mechanical sometimes, like I'm cranking out the same **** like a machine. When I try to go the extra mile and exercise some creativity in me humour I usually meet with blocks, I canny concentrate on me intention or something. I want to be more sponatenous, wittier, carefree and random but I'm just not feeling it. It's not the only thing bringing me down into the dumps, conversation skills is a big issue as well, and I seriously feel I have a massive lack when it comes to creativity + memory. So I've three questions.

1) Is there anyway to 'learn' how to be funny/witty/spontaneous etc?

2) Is there hope yet for conversation skills? I really feel inadequate in this department compared with practically everyone of my peers, male and female.

3)If I manage to crush what I percieve to be my depression, will points one and two sort themselves out and cease to be an issue if the dark cloud of depression lifts? Guess what I'm saying is, does depression severely inhibit a sense of humour, creativity, train of thought, conversation skills? I mean, I WANT to socialise, that's one symptom of depression I don't have, I don't want to stay in and hide away. Mind you, this IS an alright day when I feel up to trying to start change, and I have really really bad days.

Sorry to be such a long winded and likely unclear bastard, if you're reading this you've the patience of a Saint, but any help is much appreciated.
I have a mater who isnt what I would call depressed, but he is very good at killing off a very fun conversation when he tries to pull a line. Im not sure if this'll apply to you, but it may help. The problem is with spontanaetiy is that you cant MAKE it happen, hence its defenition. Spontanaity (god that word is *******s to spell) comes naturally, so when people try to force it, it comes out wrong. So, number 1, I would say DONT TRY SO HARD. You dont need to be the center of attention, and not everyone needs to pull the greatest jokes all the time. We are all different, and our strengths varry in where they lie, so if crakking jokes isnt ur thing, dont try. The easiest way to being funny is (I know thisll sound like *******s) but it really is to be yourself.
As for the alcohol thing... yea it tends to bring out the bad qualities in most people... if yours are killing conversations with not-so-witty comments, then alcohol will make you do just that. The thing that kills off a good time is when everyone is talking pleasantly, and you say something you percieve was funny... but the moment has either gone, or you have thought too hard about it. If it comes naturally and your still discussing it, then you mights as well comment, but make sure that itll leave possibilities for other people to continue, it should not be the end of the convo lol.
Actually this is all doing me head in, how the hell to tell someone to be funny??? Basically dont try too hard, it makes you look like the joke instead of having said the joke. Try to get very comfortable with yourself... I know that I'm at my funniest when I say something silly about myself... im comfortable with myself, so I know I can say things about myself without letting it get to me. So I hope that the docotor can help with your depression and self esteem, and the rest will come back naturally :biggrin: GOOD LUCK!
Reply 2
I think this article is pretty good:

Thoughts on being funny - www.howtobecooler.com/funny

The advice is pretty general but worth a look IMO
Being depressed doesn't stop you being funny, some of my best lines are in that dour, deadpan style.
Reply 4
Anonymous
As a sorta prescript this is gonna be long, so if you've an attention span as short as mine, getttt outttt!! lol. Well as the title suggests I'm having some difficulty tickling the funny bone of me peers (17 atm). I'm what you might call clinically depressed, least I think I am, and so do most of the people I know and care about (close friends and parents etc). I don't have a zest for life anymore, have trouble getting motivated or interested and all the usual symptoms that go along with that ****ty illness. I'm going to the docs on Thursday to see for good and all if it's not just me actin a Drama King and exaggerating.

I've no shortage in friends, but me social skills imo are in a word; pants, I find it hard to keep a natural fluid flow to the majority of my conversations, even with friends who I've known for years, best friends, friends who consider me to be one of their closest companions and vice versa. So, as ye can imagine it's annoying me to no end, but as far back as I can remember I've been this way, it's never bothered me so acutely until now though, when I started to really pump diesel into me social life by going out instead of shunning alcohol like I used too.

Most people consider me likeable, but on a par with the rest of me friends and their wit and conversation skills I feel really really weak. I have no confidence with strangers, women or even long known elders like teachers. I've been like this my whole life and until maybe a year ago I think I've been suffering from mild depression, a depression worsened when I entered the whole new world of alcohol (saw how crap me social skills where when I moved out of the 'comfort zone').

Close friends are telling me that I had a 'Golden Past' as such, when I was a happy ****er, took things as they came and had a rosier outlook to life, but for the life of me I can't remember ever being content or comfortable with the skin I'm in, not wholly anyway, I've always considered myself depressed and restless. On top of that my best friend says I was witty once upon a time, so I guess I'm lookin' for the old mojo so to speak.

I can crack the odd funny statement but I feel sorta mechanical sometimes, like I'm cranking out the same **** like a machine. When I try to go the extra mile and exercise some creativity in me humour I usually meet with blocks, I canny concentrate on me intention or something. I want to be more sponatenous, wittier, carefree and random but I'm just not feeling it. It's not the only thing bringing me down into the dumps, conversation skills is a big issue as well, and I seriously feel I have a massive lack when it comes to creativity + memory. So I've three questions.

1) Is there anyway to 'learn' how to be funny/witty/spontaneous etc?

2) Is there hope yet for conversation skills? I really feel inadequate in this department compared with practically everyone of my peers, male and female.

3)If I manage to crush what I percieve to be my depression, will points one and two sort themselves out and cease to be an issue if the dark cloud of depression lifts? Guess what I'm saying is, does depression severely inhibit a sense of humour, creativity, train of thought, conversation skills? I mean, I WANT to socialise, that's one symptom of depression I don't have, I don't want to stay in and hide away. Mind you, this IS an alright day when I feel up to trying to start change, and I have really really bad days.

Sorry to be such a long winded and likely unclear bastard, if you're reading this you've the patience of a Saint, but any help is much appreciated.


Don't worry, you will be fine :smile:.

It is hard to be funny when you are depressed because when you are depressed you are less inclined to be yourself; you lack confidence. Also, as your state of mind is negative & quite pessimistic; being humourous will be difficult. However, that is not saying you can't be funny - you can be funny in many different ways. Normally when I am down to the point when I am momenterially depressed, I tend to be very sarcastic and cynical about practically everything in life. Other times, I am like you where I can't be bothered to talk about anything.

Being funny is not that hard, it just requires confidence and clever observation at things. If you find something funny, just say it; yes there is a chance that you might look like a prat, but then there is a chance you wont and will be 'perceived' as funny.

More importantly, don't try to hard. It just won't work.
Reply 5
Stop trying to be funny. Really, nothing is worse during conversation than having to feign amusement at someone else's banal, cloying, impertinent, inept, ingratiating attempt at 'wit'. Most of my friends seem incapable of making me laugh; provided I can make them laugh, however, I don't especially care. Perhaps yours are likewise.
ZoomZoom
I think this article is pretty good:

Thoughts on being funny - www.howtobecooler.com/funny

The advice is pretty general but worth a look IMO


Cool site! I've wasted one hour reading up on all the "how-to's" in stead of coursework and I've still got plenty left to read! :biggrin:
OP apart from the actually having friends thing (in the past, I do have a few now) that is so me. Even to this day. In fact I was out tonight and I was speaking to one of the guys I was out with who I'd never really talked to before (it was a subject society thing so there were about 20 of us) about how I have no conversation skills and he said to just say the whatever **** comes into your head. So I played on this and said "I like boobies". Now without the pre-conversation about lacking conversation skills this would, even amongst guys, draw some weird expressions. But because of the thing about lacking conversation skills, he laughed it off and we spent about a minute and a half debating what's better, tits or arse.

Then he went off to canvas more votes. He said he's running for society president for next year as the current one is in the last semester of his degree I think. Or he might be going to study in America. Anyway, irrelevant tangent. So yeah, in some situations the randomest **** can make a conversation, even if it is a short, slightly alcohol induced one.
Reply 8
SunburnedCactus
Being depressed doesn't stop you being funny, some of my best lines are in that dour, deadpan style.


Marvin the Manically Depressed Robot.

Like others have said, funny can't be forced, you either have it or you don't, but don't forget funny comes in alot of different forms.