Jealous

Heya. I posted a while back, but can't find the thread again, about how myself and a very good friend of mine started sleeping together about 3 weeks ago.

Thing is, having given it probably too much thought over the last few days, I'm starting to find the idea of him with other girls really weird, and knowing that we're not in a relationship and that our "arrangement" could end at any time should either of us meet anyone is sort of making me feel a bit sad.

I'm pretty sure I don't have "romantic" feelings towards him. I love him to pieces, and he knows it, and we get on so incredibly well, but I don't think a relationship would ever be on the cards.

I am however starting to get quite jealous when he's hanging around other girls, which I know is totally selfish, and unnecessary.

I'm not entire sure what I'm thinking. I think I feel like I should really like him and want to be with him, but at the same time not being sure that's what I want. I was really hurt in a relationship about 2 years ago and in all honesty I don't think I'm quite over the pain and problems it caused me. I've dated people since, but they've never amounted to much (with the exception of one guy over Christmas, who sadly moved away, and we ended things).

I think I'm craving a boyfriend, and atm my friend is fulfilling this craving without the stability. We are quite coupley - we sit cuddled up watching films and hanging out, and are both naturally very huggy people. It isn't just a funbuddies arrangement; there seems to be more to it than just sex.

Sorry, I'm sort of just ranting, but any opinions you can give me would be really helpful.

Reply 1

Spleh

This does seem to be a relationship, you know. Sorry if that seems to be rather crass or obvious, but it is the truth from what you have said.

You DO like this guy, you DO want to be in a relationship with him. My fiance felt the same as you when we were just friends and I would hug my other friends that were girls.

Bite the bullet, saddle your horse and face the Russian guns: ask him out!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Well, we actually decided that as it was getting to the point where it felt too much like a relationship, that we should stop. In all honesty, it seems a bit of a shame, but I don't really know how to bring up the topic again. Neither of us are really after a relationship (I'm still getting over my last one, and he's blatently not over his ex [although he wont admit it]) and both trust and care about each other, and frankly, were having fun...

I'm totally confused and don't know what to do :s-smilie:

Reply 3

Sausage

This is a prime example of 'Girls cant have sex without getting emotionally attached' (obviously context has a great deal to do with it)

I think you need to make a choice. Either you carry on seeing him for just sex, or if you know that a relationship isnt on the cards then break away from this cycle because it will be you that will get hurt in the end.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Not to sound like a slut of any sort, but I've sort of had this situation before. I think where the problem is coming from is the lines getting blurred. Before anything happened between my mate and I we were very close, to the point where people thought something was going on already. The previous time I got involved with this sort of thing, the guy was a good mate, but it was purely sex, there was no real caring feelings involved.

I know he cares about me as much as I care about him, and this situation should suit us both perfectly, I just don't understand why I'm freaking out so much about it. But then I'm not really freaking out, I just don't know what I should be thinking.

The mate involved is awesome, he really looks after me, and I'd gladly do the same for him. I'd hate it so much if this ruined it forever!