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ex had an accident

Basically, my ex had a car accident on saturday night after a party, the driver was really dunk. I don't know exactly what happened but he's in hospital with a concussion and a blood clot in the head that's slowly dissolving. Thing is, I don't know what I should do... I mean, he has a new girlfriend to take care of him, and we don't talk that much anymore but obviously he's still quite important to me (though I'm over him)... So I don't know... Shoudl I go see him at the hospital? And then what? Say what? I'm kinda confused... I'm not really waiting for any answer, even though it would be nice, I just need to talk, I mean it was such a shock when I heard about it yesterday morning. You know, even if you always know it's not true, you can't get rid of the feeling that it only happens to others, and then suddenly it happens to you! My "problem" is that I also feel a bit guilty because when we were together I kept in telling him he was not inviscible and he should be careful etc so I'm scared I was too protective and this made him even more "rebellious" after... I know this probably isn't true but I can't help thinking about it. And that's also why I don't know whether I should go see him...

Reply 1

Robbolo

This was in no way your fault so you shouldnt blame yourself for what happened :frown:

And its an aweful thing to have that happen to someone close to you, I think the fact your here talking about it shows you care. And I think he'd appreciate a visit of you.

If I were you id go see him, however, there could be some factors i dont know.

But its never going to be a nice position to be in for anyone, so i hope your going to be ok

Reply 2

Flopifloor

Thanks! I'm already a lot better than yesterday. yesterday was hard, it was such a shock, I almost felt like crying at some point. Also, it was my last day of exams so I had nothing to do the whole day...
I think I am going to see him this afternoon. But probably not alone... I'm a bit too scared about being there and not having anything to say...
Anyways, thank you!

Reply 3

Nix!

Go visit. Speak to him as a friend, not an enemy or an ex... A friend.

Tell him that you're shocked and upset it happened, you hope he gets better.

Reply 4

foxiroxi

If you go don't go over board just say the normally friends stuff, take him a get well soon card but don't try to mother him or act like your his girlfriend, however hard it will be.

Reply 5

Mike_Davies

Yeah if your still friendly then go see him, it will be nice for him just to have another friend to chat too!

Reply 6

ChemistBoy

Send a card if you don't feel up to seeing him in person. Hospitals are pretty horrible at the best of times.

Reply 7

Flopifloor

ChemistBoy

Send a card if you don't feel up to seeing him in person. Hospitals are pretty horrible at the best of times.

Yeah... And you haven't seen Tanzanian hospitals (I'm Belgian but currently live in Tanzania)

I'm going this afternoon. It is kind of obvious that's what I "have to do" but you know, things like that are so unexpected you just don't know how to react / what to do...

Reply 8

Just to give advice from someone that had an accident and got these kinds of visits, phone first and ask if it'll be alright to visit. He may not be up to it, or may find it a bit awkward if you are there at the same time as his girlfriend. Don't just turn up unannounced. :smile:

Reply 9

Vanilla Crush

hope everything turns out ok :smile:

Im sure he would appreciate you visiting him

Reply 10

Flopifloor

So, I went yesterday, gave him some chocolate (as if he needed some, he already had so much food around him from all the other people who went to visit him :wink:

but still, he's swiss and I'm Belgian so chocolate is a big thing/"fight" between us - no way swiss chocolate could ever be better than belgian chocolate...!). There were a few people already and we had to stay quiet so I didn't stay very long. I just needed to check he was "alive" and everything was ok. He was sitting and talkin, seemed fine, had people around him taking care of him (including his girlfriend) so I wasn't really "needed". It was more to reassure myself than anything and show that I still cared...

Today's his last day in hospital but he won't be able to come back to school for a few weeks. I hope it won't be too hard for him to catch up and that he won't fail his IB because of it.

Anyways, thanks you all for your help, even if I had already kind of made my mind about oing to see him before postin this thread. It was nice being able to talk about it freely and et people's opinion on the subject, just to make sure I was makin the right choice. Thanks!

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