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Is this heading to a very destructive end?If so what should I do?
About 5 months ago i started going out with this girl which i love with all my heart, she is 16 still at school but is already a model and appears on TV everynow and then and Im 19 probably not going to Uni but I i work on languages and it does pay off 
Ok problem is when we started going out it all seemed normal noone ever complained about relationship and i was welcomed into her house as her boyfriend, but as of late her mum is starting to try and drift us apart, and we talked about it and i told her it was fine and not worry cos i love her to bits
but ever since then my Gf has taken this "kamikaze" attitude towards our relationship, when we have sex she insists that she doesnt want me to use condom anymore, which to i said fine, why dont you go on the pill then? she is like no i cant b bothered ill forget anyway,before we used to be alone in her house most of the time except for her younger brother which was never an obsatacle for intimacy but now they have like a sort of maid girl and she is always there so she can tell her mum what we are up to
Tothis im i was stil fine im not the kind that is in a relationship for sex i really love her but now even when the maid and her brother are in the room she starts fidiling and actually starts to take my cloths off and it does make feel really uncomfortable then pulls me to anywhere in the house to do it and i just dnt feel like there is anything romantic or nice about that( suppose most males would say omg u dnt like that) but i really i like doing things right and taking our time
Also she is been told i can only stay round till 7 in the evening which i also didnt object to because i want to keep things smooth with her family but when i said i should go she wnt let me and does anything so i dnt go, like pulls me in her room and take her clothes off or just a normal guilt trip sometimes and to an extent im a typical man in that sort of situation is hard to say no, but yesterday was the same again and i stayed till about 11 in which i really close call when going out without her mother seeing me
Question is what i should i do? things she is doing as of late can really mess up her career expectations because she really wants to continue with the modelling etc and i want to have a sort of good relationship with her family so we dnt get any hassle,not mentioning the unprotected sex( which to some extent im being a bit irresponsible too) but she carries on this way we ll both b ruined and in big trouble but i love being with her and to ending it is not an option... help
What a wal of text sorry... hope u read b able to give me some advice Ty
Ok problem is when we started going out it all seemed normal noone ever complained about relationship and i was welcomed into her house as her boyfriend, but as of late her mum is starting to try and drift us apart, and we talked about it and i told her it was fine and not worry cos i love her to bits
but ever since then my Gf has taken this "kamikaze" attitude towards our relationship, when we have sex she insists that she doesnt want me to use condom anymore, which to i said fine, why dont you go on the pill then? she is like no i cant b bothered ill forget anyway,before we used to be alone in her house most of the time except for her younger brother which was never an obsatacle for intimacy but now they have like a sort of maid girl and she is always there so she can tell her mum what we are up to
Tothis im i was stil fine im not the kind that is in a relationship for sex i really love her but now even when the maid and her brother are in the room she starts fidiling and actually starts to take my cloths off and it does make feel really uncomfortable then pulls me to anywhere in the house to do it and i just dnt feel like there is anything romantic or nice about that( suppose most males would say omg u dnt like that) but i really i like doing things right and taking our time
Also she is been told i can only stay round till 7 in the evening which i also didnt object to because i want to keep things smooth with her family but when i said i should go she wnt let me and does anything so i dnt go, like pulls me in her room and take her clothes off or just a normal guilt trip sometimes and to an extent im a typical man in that sort of situation is hard to say no, but yesterday was the same again and i stayed till about 11 in which i really close call when going out without her mother seeing me
Question is what i should i do? things she is doing as of late can really mess up her career expectations because she really wants to continue with the modelling etc and i want to have a sort of good relationship with her family so we dnt get any hassle,not mentioning the unprotected sex( which to some extent im being a bit irresponsible too) but she carries on this way we ll both b ruined and in big trouble but i love being with her and to ending it is not an option... help
What a wal of text sorry... hope u read b able to give me some advice Ty
Scroll to see replies
To some extent? You're running the very high risk of being a daddy soon and pretty much ending the rest of your life just because your 16 year old girlfriend 'cant be bothered'. Grow up and be a bit more responsible. Unless you want to be paying for a little brat for the rest of your life, start running a 'no glove, no love' policy with her, no matter how much of a model she is.
Reply 2
I'm not sure how much advice I can give you, but I would like to say how much I admire the stance you're taking. It seems you really care about your girlfriend and you're bending over backwards to keep her family happy as well, however difficult she's making it. But please start using protection again - she won't be much of a model when she's pregnant!
The best advice I can think of is to talk to her about why she's acting so differently, and explain that you really care for her and if she carries on the way she is, then she's risking messing things up with her family so they won't want you around any more.
The best advice I can think of is to talk to her about why she's acting so differently, and explain that you really care for her and if she carries on the way she is, then she's risking messing things up with her family so they won't want you around any more.
Reply 3
Luzvel
OP
Ive already tried that im not completely stupid but she wont have any of it and is not the fact that she is a model i just really love her and tired talking this with her but it doesnt seem to get through to her and when i tell her i feel like im playing to close she just goes mad and if i say what would happen IF?... she is like if it happens happens what u worrying about? i dnt want a brat btw
and is not the fact that she is a model i just really love her and tired talking this with her but it doesnt seem to get through to her and when i tell her i feel like im playing to close she just goes mad and if i say what would happen IF?... she is like if it happens happens what u worrying about? i dnt want a brat btw This may sound harsh, but are you COMPLETELY mental? You don't want a kid but you're having unprotected sex, which, just incase you've skipped a couple of science lessons, creates a baby. You've got to reassess your life, this relationship probably won't last forever, but a kid will, either make her start having sex with a condom or stop having sex (or dump her). Shes not only ruining her life but shes attempting to ruin yours.
Reply 5
Hey, I wasn't saying you're stupid 
it's just standard TSR first-base advice.
Maybe you could just downright refuse to sleep with her unless she/you uses protection - it's harsh and she probably will throw a wobbly but it's not just her future that's on the line here. You have the power to prevent anything untoward and pregnancy-related occurring, so use it.
As for the rest of her problems, if she refuses to speak to you then I honestly can't think of anything! What've you said to her?
it's just standard TSR first-base advice.Maybe you could just downright refuse to sleep with her unless she/you uses protection - it's harsh and she probably will throw a wobbly but it's not just her future that's on the line here. You have the power to prevent anything untoward and pregnancy-related occurring, so use it.
As for the rest of her problems, if she refuses to speak to you then I honestly can't think of anything! What've you said to her?
Reply 6
Just have some self control and refuse to have sex with her without a condom. You say to some extent you are being a bit irresponsible. To some extent?!!
Keep your dick in your pants or use a condom. Nobody is forcing you to have sex with her, you are chosing to have sex with her despite the lack of protection. Grow up, grow some balls and stand up to her.
Keep your dick in your pants or use a condom. Nobody is forcing you to have sex with her, you are chosing to have sex with her despite the lack of protection. Grow up, grow some balls and stand up to her.
Reply 7
Luzvel
OP
i didnt mean you called me stupid i was answering to 3232 whos answers are a bit mean really but has a point and that what i need to hear maybe
i told her everything i possible could about it ... i even went as far as telling her that if she gets pregnant and her parents are like that, i could go jail but she is like oh she wont do that etc etc...
a wobboly? thats an understatement cos she just uses the guilt trip
i have thought the obvious way to solve it but i couldnt do it partly cos lately she lived a whole lot of things imo no 16 year old should have... and she didnt tell me this things it was her mother that told me and said like"i dnt want anything to hurt more than she already is"
i told her everything i possible could about it ... i even went as far as telling her that if she gets pregnant and her parents are like that, i could go jail but she is like oh she wont do that etc etc...
a wobboly? thats an understatement cos she just uses the guilt trip
i have thought the obvious way to solve it but i couldnt do it partly cos lately she lived a whole lot of things imo no 16 year old should have... and she didnt tell me this things it was her mother that told me and said like"i dnt want anything to hurt more than she already is"
Reply 8
I think I understand what your girlfriend is doing and I've seen it before. You have pressure to end your relationship from outside and your girlfriend is responding to this. She wants to get pregnant, either conciously or subconciously because she feels that this will cement the relationship and stop the pressure on it. I've seen girls I know from when I was 16 up to now (26) who have behaved this way when the relationship is under pressure.
I think you need to have a talk with her parents.
I think you need to have a talk with her parents.
Reply 9
Luzvel
OP
I know is wrong and i know what im doing is really irresponsible i already heard this and probs just my lack of will power but is easier said than done... but i suppose the only way is saying no ... so it will be on her head if she does anything about it even though i didnt want it to come to that
even though i didnt want it to come to thatLuzvel
i didnt mean you called me stupid i was answering to 3232 whos answers are a bit mean really but has a point and that what i need to hear maybe
You really do need to hear it, stop trying to persuade her to let you use a condom and just tell her you either wear a condom or you don't have sex. Guilt tripping you into making her conceive is extremely ****ed up, she might feel she wants a baby or whatever to solve the problems she has, but thats no reason to sign away the rest of your life. You need to take control and stop having unprotected sex, and make her take a pregnancy test, she could already be pregnant. I know it sounds harsh, but ignoring it won't make it go away, it'll just make a little bundle of screaming joy appear in less than a year.
She sounds, I'm sorry to say, VERY immature, are you sure she's not too young for you? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to start a 'how young is too young' thing, and I'm not saying physically (that'd make me a bit of a hypocrite-I started going out with my boyfriend when he was 19 and I was 16), but mentally. The point is mainly on the sex side of things. I went on the pill a few months into the relationship, I didn't think I'd remember it either, but it's surprisingly easy to.
By being too lazy to bother taking the pill or anything, she's not only jeopardizing her future, but yours too-do you want to be a father at 19? In a relationship which I honestly don't think is going to last.
Ok, so if you do have an 'accident' (are you actually sure that it's not just that she WANTS to get pregnant), there is always the option of abortion, but from what you've said, I don't think that she'd go through with that. I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship with this girl.
By being too lazy to bother taking the pill or anything, she's not only jeopardizing her future, but yours too-do you want to be a father at 19? In a relationship which I honestly don't think is going to last.
Ok, so if you do have an 'accident' (are you actually sure that it's not just that she WANTS to get pregnant), there is always the option of abortion, but from what you've said, I don't think that she'd go through with that. I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship with this girl.
Reply 12
It sounds like her parents really trust you then - so be worthy of their trust and be responsible for your girlfriend. If she's not going to take control over the possibility of getting pregnant, you'll have to do it for her. Hard though it may be.
Reply 13
Luzvel
OP
you all say pretty much the same and is probably the right thing because is quiet extreme... whe i told this to my best friend he gave a real slap what i wanted to know if theres anything i could say to make her understand if not well i know what the answer is... and she not at the moment which is a fact
what i wanted to know if theres anything i could say to make her understand if not well i know what the answer is... and she not at the moment which is a factLuzvel
what i wanted to know if theres anything i could say to make her understand if not well i know what the answer is... and she not at the moment which is a fact
She really doesn't sound mature enough for this kind of relationship, and I think you're going to find it very difficult to get the point across to her if she hasn't already got it. Some girls manage to appear much more mature than they really are, on the face of it, but then, as you get to know them better and better, you realise just how young they really are underneath it all.
If you really feel that you're going to be able to get the point across somehow, by all means try, but I really wouldn't bother to, if I were in your position, I'm afraid, the risk that you're running is just too high, as even if she does appear to have taen you point on board, what if she hasn't really?
Reply 16
Luzvel
OP
probably is like chemist boy said... and she probably not mature enough but ill try talking to her again ... if not well
Luzvel
i didnt mean you called me stupid i was answering to 3232 whos answers are a bit mean really but has a point and that what i need to hear maybe
i told her everything i possible could about it ... i even went as far as telling her that if she gets pregnant and her parents are like that, i could go jail but she is like oh she wont do that etc etc...
a wobboly? thats an understatement cos she just uses the guilt trip
i have thought the obvious way to solve it but i couldnt do it partly cos lately she lived a whole lot of things imo no 16 year old should have... and she didnt tell me this things it was her mother that told me and said like"i dnt want anything to hurt more than she already is"
i told her everything i possible could about it ... i even went as far as telling her that if she gets pregnant and her parents are like that, i could go jail but she is like oh she wont do that etc etc...
a wobboly? thats an understatement cos she just uses the guilt trip
i have thought the obvious way to solve it but i couldnt do it partly cos lately she lived a whole lot of things imo no 16 year old should have... and she didnt tell me this things it was her mother that told me and said like"i dnt want anything to hurt more than she already is"
3232 may be mean but he's absolutely right and so are the others who have responded so far. You might not like being told in no-nonsense terms where you're going wrong but if you're going to sort yourself out maybe you need a bit of a wake up call. You absolutely must not have unprotected sex with her - I don't think I need to reiterate how much having a baby with this girl would ruin your life - and more than anything I think you need to take a bit of responsibility for your actions because by giving in to this girl's weird demands you're just going to perpetuate her silly attention seeking. If she won't listen to adult reasoning and you really are set on staying with her then just tell her quite calmly that every time she acts like a toddler, you're going to treat her like one. Ignore tantrums and guilt trips - don't speak, don't make eye contact, leave the room, including if she takes her clothes off. If her parents want you out the house by a certain time, just say your goodbyes and leave. I refuse to believe a 16 year old girl could physically prevent you going so have some self control! Stop pandering to her guilt trip techniques and indulging mindless urges to shag her just because she's naked. Meanwhile you can try, as the older partner, having an adult talk with her parents to try and gauge why they are uncomfortable with your being with their daughter and if there is anything you can do to ease relations between you and them. Tell them that you have only respect for their wishes and don't want things to become any more strained between you. Lastly and possibly most importantly, if you have already had unprotected sex I cannot stress enough how urgently she must take a pregnancy test. One time of living dangerously is often quite enough to conceive a child and if her stupid little game has ended with the result she wanted then you will both need as much time as possible to come to terms with it, and to get together the help you will need to cope from now on.
Reply 18
Some girls can be very persuasive but im sorry but your lack of self control is beyond me!
You really need to have decisive chat with her.
1 If this is just some kinda attetion seeking she uses often on people why the hell are you playing up to it?
2 If she really cares so much about you that she is willing to go to any lenghts to make people see you want to be together she is going COMPLETELY the wrong way about and tell her so
If she is not going to listen, you need to walk out for your own good and hers too xXx
You really need to have decisive chat with her.
1 If this is just some kinda attetion seeking she uses often on people why the hell are you playing up to it?
2 If she really cares so much about you that she is willing to go to any lenghts to make people see you want to be together she is going COMPLETELY the wrong way about and tell her so
If she is not going to listen, you need to walk out for your own good and hers too xXx
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