Are you bothered that you don't get along with your housemates?

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AndreaT
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#1
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I have fallen out with my housemates and they are all still friends apart from me. I don't particularly want to see them and want to avoid them as much as I can to avoid anymore arguments or upset.
I have started to avoid going in the communal areas when they are in there. In September I will have a lot more commitments so I won't be in the house much anyway.

I was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where you felt that they had to avoid housemates for whatever reason and if it bothered you or not?
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samsama
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Why don't you get on with your housemates? What are they doing that upsets you?
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vanillapod
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I have been in a similar situation, as they were horrible people (not all of them). However, they were really bad - didn't clean, even stole at one point lol It didn't bother me because I knew we wouldn't be friends, but they would still very much annoy me and I could't wait to leave.

Anyway, if it's just something minor, then try to put everything behind you. You don't have to be best friends, but it'll make the rest of your year more awkward if you don't talk at all/ are "not talking."
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AndreaT
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(Original post by samsama)
Why don't you get on with your housemates? What are they doing that upsets you?
It's just that I'm the only one that cleans, they don't like that I'm still friends with one of their exes after they broke up and one of them sends me really nasty and aggressive messages when she doesn't get her own way, like when I had to cancel going to a concert with her as I was invited to a wedding, or if she finds out that her ex has been over while she was out, it's a bit if a difficult situation really! She won't understand if I try and explain that. Feel a bit in the middle of her and her ex!
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AndreaT
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(Original post by vanillapod)
I have been in a similar situation, as they were horrible people (not all of them). However, they were really bad - didn't clean, even stole at one point lol It didn't bother me because I knew we wouldn't be friends, but they would still very much annoy me and I could't wait to leave.

Anyway, if it's just something minor, then try to put everything behind you. You don't have to be best friends, but it'll make the rest of your year more awkward if you don't talk at all/ are "not talking."
It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's been through it haha! Hopefully I can just suck it up and just get on with my own things!
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darkred
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You're still living with them next year?

What I've found is the group always need one person to hate and use as a scape goat. In first year the guys in my house hated on one of the girls for no reason. Then when she stopped being around so much they moved on to another girl. They'd pick apart everything she did and blame things they knew she didn't do on her. Was really ****ing awful.

You need to stop giving them excuses to cause you problems. Like letting your friends ex over. I don't think you should be doing that personally.

Your house is a safe place for your housemate. The last thing she probably wants is her ex coming over. I know you're still friends with them but try to compromise and meet them elsewhere
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AndreaT
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(Original post by darkred)
You're still living with them next year?

What I've found is the group always need one person to hate and use as a scape goat. In first year the guys in my house hated on one of the girls for no reason. Then when she stopped being around so much they moved on to another girl. They'd pick apart everything she did and blame things they knew she didn't do on her. Was really ****ing awful.

You need to stop giving them excuses to cause you problems. Like letting your friends ex over. I don't think you should be doing that personally.

Your house is a safe place for your housemate. The last thing she probably wants is her ex coming over. I know you're still friends with them but try to compromise and meet them elsewhere
Yeah I am! And that does sound like that case! I've realised that it was out of line to let him stay over and have apologised and told her it would never happen again, but I guess there is not much I can do about it now really
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AndreaT
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(Original post by vanillapod)
I have been in a similar situation, as they were horrible people (not all of them). However, they were really bad - didn't clean, even stole at one point lol It didn't bother me because I knew we wouldn't be friends, but they would still very much annoy me and I could't wait to leave.

Anyway, if it's just something minor, then try to put everything behind you. You don't have to be best friends, but it'll make the rest of your year more awkward if you don't talk at all/ are "not talking."
That sounds annoying! Thanks for the advice, I'll be civil and say hi when I see them
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AndreaT
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That's horrible! But at least you managed to move out they don't seem to be able to have conversations face to face without getting worked up and start shouting, so it seems like the best solution might be to be civil if I see them but stay out the way the majority of the time!
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darkred
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(Original post by AndreaT)
Yeah I am! And that does sound like that case! I've realised that it was out of line to let him stay over and have apologised and told her it would never happen again, but I guess there is not much I can do about it now really
Yeah the damage is done. Best you can do is avoid situations like this again.

Good luck with next year!
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