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Boyfriend acting weird.
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and three months. My boyfriend has always been a little bit overprotective and if i go out to meet a friend especially if its a guy friend, he interrogates me after about where i've been and what i've been doing.
Recently he has changed, I've been meeting up a lot with a guy friend who is in a band who has some new material requiring a female singer and my boyfriend is scarily unsuspicious about this. I know, he knows my music is really important to me, but everytime i meet up with my friend he doesn't interrogate me about it at all, he doesn't even ask.
Also he is always going on about how he doesn't do valentines day and has expressed that he doesn't want anything and that he is not gonna get me anything and i have since found out that he's making me a little album of all the photos he's got of us and stuff we've done together. Thats really unusual cos its really thoughtful and sweet, romance is not his strong point.
I'm not complaining, its lovely and everything, but its a bit creepy that he can suddenly change his behaviour so drastically. Any ideas about what might be going on in his head?
Recently he has changed, I've been meeting up a lot with a guy friend who is in a band who has some new material requiring a female singer and my boyfriend is scarily unsuspicious about this. I know, he knows my music is really important to me, but everytime i meet up with my friend he doesn't interrogate me about it at all, he doesn't even ask.
Also he is always going on about how he doesn't do valentines day and has expressed that he doesn't want anything and that he is not gonna get me anything and i have since found out that he's making me a little album of all the photos he's got of us and stuff we've done together. Thats really unusual cos its really thoughtful and sweet, romance is not his strong point.
I'm not complaining, its lovely and everything, but its a bit creepy that he can suddenly change his behaviour so drastically. Any ideas about what might be going on in his head?
You'd think if he was jealous/angry/anxious/hurt he would become more protective not less though wouldn't you. I've never given him a reason to doubt me, but he's just never been so relaxed about me meeting guys even thought he knows i'm not gonna be unfaithful. It's just a bit unsettling.
Well yes and no. I might expect him to become more jealous/angry/anxious/hurt. But equally I might expect him to try another tact, such as being more romantic and being less overprotective in order to show you why you should stay with him.
Thats an interesting idea, it sounds possible, but its just so not like him.
Here's a crazy idea... maybe he trusts you with this guy?
My boyfriend is very protective when it comes to guys that he doesn't really know but if he has seen me around certain guys, knows that it's nothing but friendship then he just doesn't care. He trusts them, he trusts me.
It might be something as simple as that, you never know. You could always just ask him why he behaves a certain way when it comes to some people but acts completely different when it comes to others.
He could simply be trying to change. He might be showing you that he can be thoughtful, he can be romantic and that he really does love you. By showing you that caring side of him, he has less change of losing you...
My boyfriend is very protective when it comes to guys that he doesn't really know but if he has seen me around certain guys, knows that it's nothing but friendship then he just doesn't care. He trusts them, he trusts me.
It might be something as simple as that, you never know. You could always just ask him why he behaves a certain way when it comes to some people but acts completely different when it comes to others.
He could simply be trying to change. He might be showing you that he can be thoughtful, he can be romantic and that he really does love you. By showing you that caring side of him, he has less change of losing you...
Anonymous
Thats an interesting idea, it sounds possible, but its just so not like him.
He's never seen me with this guy, he rarely sees me with my guy friends at all cos i've stopped taking him with me when i meet up with them cos he won't switch off his 'You touch her and i'll rip your limbs off' expression, most of my guy friends find him intimidating. Whenever i ask him its not that he doesn't trust me cos he does its that he doesn't trust them with me.
He is obviously really worried about losing you, but maybe he does just trust you. If he trusts you then he shouldn't be so worried because even if one of them did try it on with you, you would stop them.
It does seem odd behaviour from someone who seems so insecure about losing you but maybe he is just trying to back off a bit and realises that his past behaviour was unfair...
It does seem odd behaviour from someone who seems so insecure about losing you but maybe he is just trying to back off a bit and realises that his past behaviour was unfair...
He may have just accepted this is important to you and you are going to see the guy whether he likes it or not so he has just decided to take a step back and let you get on with what obviously makes you happy and put his feelings about the situation aside.
It might help him if occassionally when you are meeting the guy you tell him what's going on, the sort of things he'd have asked before when he was 'interrogating you', that way he's reassured but hasn't had to pressure you into telling him.
It might help him if occassionally when you are meeting the guy you tell him what's going on, the sort of things he'd have asked before when he was 'interrogating you', that way he's reassured but hasn't had to pressure you into telling him.
You can't change a person, they can only change themselves.
or maybe he's planning to dump you and wants to leave you the album as a memento of everything you had with him
mind you why would you be with him if he was like that, so i'd say don't worry about it and maybe he really is trying to show you he's not an arsehole who tries to stop you from having a life
mind you why would you be with him if he was like that, so i'd say don't worry about it and maybe he really is trying to show you he's not an arsehole who tries to stop you from having a life
Just a thought but you could try talking to him. We don't know your boyfriend therefore we are unable to tell you.
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