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not sure if boyfriend loves me anymore

Just wondering if people think I'm being silly, I'm at the same uni as my boyfriend and have been going out with him for 2 yrs now, in the past ew have been on 2 mixed mates holidays and a few hols by ourselves.

This yr we were discussing holidays and we decided that we would go travelling to Europe in sept altough we hadn't started planning but had looked into intertravel. Anyway I have just found out he has txt his mates asking them if they wanted to go interailing in August,just the blokes and they all seem up for it.

Anyway do you think I right in feeling hurt? and do you think this is a sign that he wants to move on? ie not including me in his plans?

Is this the way it normally happens with the guys at this age (19) ie always want to be in packs?

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Reply 1

Ink

You are reading too much into things at this point.

He doesn't have to do everything with you. Maybe some of his friends are feeling neglecting because he's always spending time with you. Maybe they mentioned something to him, and in attempt to patch things up, he has decided to take a trip with *just* them right before *your* trip in September. Sometimes, guys need to just be with the guys for a while. To jump to conclusions about your relationship with him is silly. Unless he starts showing other strange behaviors and signs, I see no need for alarm.

Reply 2

foxiroxi

Oh just let your boyfriend have a lads holiday! Your all still young, don't be in such a serious relationship where you do everything together.

Why don't you plan a girls holiday at the same time?

Reply 3

matt@internet

How did you find out about the planned lads holiday? Did you look through his texts?

Reply 4

ßlαcksωαn

He's a guy, what did you expect?

Reply 5

SmilerNuts

its healthy to have some time apart

Reply 6

Ron Burgundy

Me and Veronica are trying this new craze called jogging, i think its jogging or it could be yogging, but apparently all you do is run.

Reply 7

CheesyBeans

There's nothing wrong with him wanting to do things with his mates. You're 19, you shouldn't want to act like a married couple.

Jesus, there are times when I NEED to get away from my boyfriend. There are also times when I need to get away from my housemates or my parents too.

Reply 8

SmilerNuts

Cheesy Beans makes a good point - its just not natural to be with someone 24/7 no matter how much you love them. the happiest couples tend to be the ones who spend a decent amount of time together but also have other interests that they do with other people

Reply 9

Louise88

Even though you are a part of your boyfriends life, you aren't his entire life. He has every right to make plans with his friends, theres nothing wrong with spending time with other people! If he is planning a guys holiday, why don't you get a few of your closest friends and have a girly holiday?

Being around one person all the time isn't healthy, everyone needs a certain amount of space. You shouldn't read so much into something like this, it's his life and he can do with it what he wants. When people get into relationships, sometimes their friendships can suffer because they suddenly have to split their time between their partner and their friends. Seems like that is what he is doing, holiday with you and a holiday with his friends....

Reply 10

The Bishman

You said you found he sent text messages to his mates? Did you look through them? If so it sounds a bit like you don't trust him.

Reply 11

Segat1

Ron Burgundy

Me and Veronica are trying this new craze called jogging, i think its jogging or it could be yogging, but apparently all you do is run.

OP, do you mean you thought it would just be you two going on the holiday, and not him and all his mates?

I'd suggest another holiday for just the two of you. And let him go on the boys holiday.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

I didn't look through his txts a mutual friend told me, just upset because we were planning to go travelling before he arranged to do the same holiday with his mates.

Reply 13

Louise88

Just talk to him about it, it's the easiest and best option. Explain to him that you are slightly upset that he has made plans to go on holiday with his friends when he had already made plans with you.

Make sure he knows that you aren't against a lads holiday, why should you be? He is entitled to spend time with his friends but explain that you don't know where you and him stand on the holiday front because you thought thats what you were doing together.

Suggest doing something else even, make brand new plans just you two.

Reply 14

JC.

Dont see the harm in him going away on his own for a bit. When he comes back he will have missed you and your holiday together will be much better for the missing. :smile:

I went away for a few days to play cars last month. My g/f was and still is profoundly upset that I didnt spend much time with her. As was my friends wife at him for spending a lot of his time helping me in the garage.
I guess getting up at 8am and staying in a garage with an old car till 3pm for 5 days and only coming out for food and toilet breaks isnt exactly the best way to win a girls heart.
She wanted to come though... she knew what i'd be doing and she was miserable for it. The trouble is when you get used to lots of attention being lavished upon you its noticed more when the guy is doing other things.

I try my hardest to please everyone all of the time but inevitably things dont go to plan and its me (the guy) that ends up looking like the bad person.

All i'm saying is sometimes you girls need to take a step back and ask yourself if you are seeing what is really happening or what you are afraid of happening. Theres a subtle difference.

Reply 15

mc_hamster

Does anyone actually talk about their problems anymore? That's all you have to do. How is he going to know you're annoyed if you don't tell him?

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

I will talk about it with him but I don't want to be seen as someone nagging him all the time as I genuinely don't mind him going on a lads holiday, as someone said it's not the fact he's going on a lads holiday it's just that he is doing the same holiday that we were planning n I know he will then say he has no money to go anywhere.

Also he knows I wanted to travel

Reply 17

emerley

chances are that he is organising a holiday with his mates aswell as with you? that way he can have the best of both worlds.

maybe he liked the idea so much that he wanted to go twice?

unless he turns round and says hes going with them and doesnt want to go on holiday with you at all then i dont think youve got anything to worry about!

ultimately i think the best thing is to ask what his intentions are!

Reply 18

high priestess fnord

having a holiday with the guys is a great idea, he gets to spend quality time with his mates and then he will come back missing you. the only problem i see is that he didnt tell you, it just sounds odd that he should start planning something like that without even mentioning it in passing.

Reply 19

pumpkin7

boys are dicks like that. when they know you won't like something they will keep it a secret until you find out by text message.
it's probably not that he doesn't love you, maybe he just wants to go on a guy holiday for a change.

i wouldn't worry about it. my ex went on holiday with one of his friends, and i didn't want him to go, but it was brilliant when he came back because we missed each other like crazy... of course, in my case, 2 weeks after that he found some chick with bigger boobs/smaller ass/more pretty than me, and has most probably run off with her, and i hope they both rott from stis.

but y'know.. talk to him about it.