Getting close to people

Friends in general.

I have problems making friends, trusting them, and just being close and giving them hugs and normal stuff like that. I WANT to, it's just that I can't. Mainly because I feel like they don't actually like me. I don't even feel like my phone call would be welcomed by many of my friends.

Help?

Reply 1

Vohamanah

16

Sounds like you are going through a bad patch at the moment as it is.

Perhaps you are paranoid and thinking about things too much. It may make you feel self conscious if you think they don't like you.

Do you have like one set of friends who do things together? Maybe you are feeling a little trapped if so. If you start doubting their intentions you will feel you have nowhere else to turn and get more worried.

Your worry may be affecting your behaviour also. Is it possible they are picking up on your anxiety and acting differently around you as a result. Not really knowing your situation makes it difficult to give you advice, but I guess you could try to relax more, don't be so conscious of your behaviour and see if things get better? :s-smilie:

Reply 2

matt@internet

12

Oh God I feel the same way. Though I can still tell them some important things as, for my own feelings I'm loose mouthed. I mean if someone (Party A) told me something I wouldn't say anything to anyone else (Party B) without party A's permission.

Reply 3

mc_hamster

1

I have this from time to time, I just battle through it.

I know that's not the best advice but that's how I do it.

Reply 4

noodles!

OP

14

pinkpinkuk

Sounds like you are going through a bad patch at the moment as it is.

Perhaps you are paranoid and thinking about things too much. It may make you feel self conscious if you think they don't like you.

Do you have like one set of friends who do things together? Maybe you are feeling a little trapped if so. If you start doubting their intentions you will feel you have nowhere else to turn and get more worried.

Your worry may be affecting your behaviour also. Is it possible they are picking up on your anxiety and acting differently around you as a result. Not really knowing your situation makes it difficult to give you advice, but I guess you could try to relax more, don't be so conscious of your behaviour and see if things get better? :s-smilie:

These friends I'm moaning about in this thread are my closes ones. One of 4 years and one of about 5 months. That doesn't help my situation in the group.

Reply 5

noodles!

OP

14

mc_hamster

I have this from time to time, I just battle through it.

I know that's not the best advice but that's how I do it.

Yeah, as a rule I'm pretty independent and a "bottler" etc and can usually just turn my head. So maybe I need to be told to shut up. But it's really getting to me ATM, specially as I'm moving to Uni next year and am gonna be a total wreck.

Reply 6

Vohamanah

16

namakemono

Yeah, as a rule I'm pretty independent and a "bottler" etc and can usually just turn my head. So maybe I need to be told to shut up. But it's really getting to me ATM, specially as I'm moving to Uni next year and am gonna be a total wreck.

Don't see moving to uni as something that is going to turn you into a wreck. For many people going to uni is a fresh start. It will be scary but you will get through it. I did and its the best thing I could possibly have done friend-wise. Out with the old half-friends, in with the new real-friends. Uni is a great chance to be independent and prove yourself, even if its only in your head, like proving you DO deserve close friends who you won't be worried about whether they like you or not.

P.S. I'm sorry, grammar goes out of the window when I'm on a roll. Hope you can figure that last bit out through the rambling.

Reply 7

noodles!

OP

14

Aww, thanks for all the help. Rep to you once I can give it out again tomorrow! =D

Reply 8

TempusReborn

For a long time I had a fear such as yours - that your not connected with people and how you overwhelming anaylsed the smallest little facts or things they'd said. I know this sounds silly but looking retrospectivly I think it's I cared too much about what people thought about me - Dont try to fit in, be yourself and your true friends will be the guys who fit jigsaw like with you. Starting college and volunteering for Peer Support was the best thing I ever did. I met guys and girls (including my now girlfriend) who were there because they cared about others and this shared comrade we had meant that our good points were pointed out and applauded (metaphorically) and any bad points we deemed ourselves to have were just quirks in the others eyes.
Good Luck - Be Yourself - There will be always people who want to hang with you
Nathan

Getting close to people

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