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"She doesn't know what she wants" - wtf?

In some cases of when a girl has liked me/I have liked her, and I talk about to a mate (usually one who is a girl), she tells me that this girl I like and likes me, does show all the signs of liking me and therefore most likely does, but "she does not know what she wants".

What exactly does this mean? How can she not know what she wants? She is showing an interest in me so surely she knows what she wants? If she doesn't, yet she is giving signals, then ok she may be confused which is understandable, or she is just teasing and playing.

Can someone PLEASE explain this "she does not know what she wants" thing to me? Why can't girls be a bit more like me? I know EXACTLY what I want and I pursue it until I know for sure I cannot have it (ie I may like a girl but she does not like me).

Reply 1

Spleh

-Blade-

Can someone PLEASE explain this "she does not know what she wants" thing to me?

Good sir, it is just that simple. Most of the time when women say that they are unsure as to what they desire, they genuinely have no idea. I counsel patience and understanding, women are mysteries but delightful ones nonetheless. A little understanding will go a long way.

Reply 2

Lex Talionis

10

Yeah or that she likes you but thinks you only want her for sex.

Reply 3

College Guy 1987

2

I get this all the time. It usually means she doesn't actually like you enough to want to be your girlfriend.
Put it this way, if she really liked you a lot, she would know what she wants, for sure.

Reply 4

Illuminatus

It means she likes you, but wants to 'get to know you better' before trusting her own judgement.

Reply 5

bone-machine

9

probably that she fancies you physically but doesnt think you two are compatible or believes that you are not good bf materila. that you are a playa. or that your personalities will clash. or that shes not over her ex. or that..you get the picture...shes holding back because of some issue or other..could be to do with you personally or her current situation....

girls are a complicated bunch

Reply 6

scribble_girl

14

bone-machine

believes that you are not good bf materila. that you are a playa. or that your personalities will clash. or that shes not over her ex.

Best username :biggrin:

pixies <3

Yes, basically, she needs wooing.
She's interested but needs a bit of persuasion and attention and proving that you could work :smile:

Reply 7

-Blade-

OP

1

With the last girl that seemed to like me and vice versa, she had stupid parents in that they didn't let her go out with boys and give her number to boys. I got this comment about her. I guess it was because she didn't know what to do if she liked me, given her parents. This was the predominant problem.

So I guess with the current girl I like, there must be a similar bottleneck like she has a boyfriend or hasn't got over her ex, if she has/had one (her myspace says she has one but there is no other proof of this or it may say this to stop boys adding her).

I'm sure she doesn't think I am a player because I am not and I haven't shown off about anything. In fact, I haven't mentioned relationships or sex, but she has. So that doesn't bother me.

I am inexperienced which could make me a bad bf, but we all have to start somewhere and so did/does she. I've never actually told me about my past "relationship" issues, so she does not know how inexperienced I am. Funnily enough, I don't think she is worried about this but I am.

Reply 8

Misogynist

18

There's no such thing as 'not getting over an ex' it's the worst excuse a girl can come up with. There's also of course the 'I'm not ready for a relationship', but the first guy with slick hair and a nice car that comes along she's with him faster than she can contract his STD's. It's all one big joke, all girls are liars.

Reply 9

--

3

Basically she doesn't really find you that attractive but she wants to keep the door open just in case she gets drunk and horny and you happen to be the nearest bloke.

Reply 10

silverbolt

19

im not sure what i want happens in both single and in relationship people adn it boils down to this

if she single, - shes playing the field, she likes you but not enough to go out with just then but shes keeping you hanging by giving you some hope (she didnt say she will but she hasnt said she wont go out with you kinda thing) If nothing better comes along then she will go out with you. bear in mind this could take months

in a relationship its the same thing. they still like you/want to be with you but they are looking and if given the chance will find someone else

Reply 11

Misogynist

18

Yep - Basically you're her puppet and she wants to 'keep you there' just incase she doesn't find someone better than you. The usual duration for this 'holding on' stage is months, so it's not likely you're going to get anywhere during this time. She's not confused, she's just being a bitch.

Reply 12

bunthulhu

14

Why

There's no such thing as 'not getting over an ex' it's the worst excuse a girl can come up with. There's also of course the 'I'm not ready for a relationship', but the first guy with slick hair and a nice car that comes along she's with him faster than she can contract his STD's. It's all one big joke, all girls are liars.

Don't be ridiculous! Just because you haven't met a nice one yet :frown:

Reply 13

Misogynist

18

bunthulhu

Don't be ridiculous! Just because you haven't met a nice one yet :frown:

I've met a nice one, a very nice one infact, but those sentences are common to all girls.

Reply 14

Ink

12

Why

the first guy with slick hair and a nice car that comes along she's with him faster than she can contract his STD's. It's all one big joke, all girls are liars.

Bitter much?

Reply 15

--

3

He speaks the truth, 'I don't know what i want' means you're either about to be dumped or you're never going to get any from her. Its in the handbook we all got when we turned 18.