I've been an idiot (long)

I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and i know that i love him, but just before christmas, he confessed to kissing a girl he'd never met before and -to my knowledge- hasnt met since. i said i'd forgiven him but my opinion of him was shattered. ive not been able to look at him the same way since.
one of his closest friends added me on msn and we started talking. when he asked for my number i was concerned, but one of his other friends told me he was a flirt with everyone and not to worry. i didnt.
we've since become close, and yesterday he admitted that he loved me. although i care a lot about him, i still love my boyfriend but my mannerisms around guys suggests i flirt, but i dont mean it.
he has a girlfriend but isnt happy, and today he said that he wanted us to feel right and not so wrong. as far as im aware, ive not done anything to suggest that i'd leave my boyfriend for him.
whilst i admit i may appear like im flirting, i beheve that way with everyone. i really care about my friend a lot,and to some extent i love him too, but i dont know whether its just because i'm unhappy at my boyfriend, and he is with his girl.
does this make sense?

Reply 1

TempusReborn

Personally I'd say never cheat on someone - so if your really unhappy you'd have to talk to your boyfriend about your unhappiness with him and how you've he's somehow got to ease your worries and "renew the bond"

As for the other guy the answer is ussually dont- grass looks greener on the other side. Just stay friends with him but make it clear that if he were to try anything with you it would mean the end of your friendship.

Reply 2

Love Sheep

1

Well when you say you love him, what kind of love do you mean exactly?
It's normal to have a changed opinion of your boyfriend after what he did, but it sounds like you need to sort things out with him before you think about his friend. You should tell the friend to think about what he really wants as well, as there seem to be a lot of people involved in this situation, and it's best to hurt as little people as possible, if any.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Love Sheep

Well when you say you love him, what kind of love do you mean exactly?
It's normal to have a changed opinion of your boyfriend after what he did, but it sounds like you need to sort things out with him before you think about his friend. You should tell the friend to think about what he really wants as well, as there seem to be a lot of people involved in this situation, and it's best to hurt as little people as possible, if any.

well, in honesty, he reminds me of my ex before he completely changed due to mental illness. even though ive not know him long, i seemed as at ease with him as i did with some of my closest friends.
i told him i wouldnt leave my boyfriend, and he hasnt spoken to me since. probably a good thing, but it'll be awkward when me boyfriend want to know why we're suddenly so off.

Reply 4

Mike_Davies

Anonymous

well, in honesty, he reminds me of my ex before he completely changed due to mental illness. even though ive not know him long, i seemed as at ease with him as i did with some of my closest friends.
i told him i wouldnt leave my boyfriend, and he hasnt spoken to me since. probably a good thing, but it'll be awkward when me boyfriend want to know why we're suddenly so off.

Yeah it will be awkward! I have a similar thing going on in my group of close friends and believe me if you carry on like this it just gets very awkward as soon it will turn into you cant all go out together because you dont want your bf and this other guy in the same room together and the rest of your mates will quickly get annoyed with you and arguments will ensue! Sorry it paints a bleak picture but its how the world works!

Reply 5

FarahPearls

6

One thing i do think would help you is to create boundaries with your guy friends, have limits as to what you discuss and your behaviour with them if you realise that they could get the wrong end of the stick. Friends are friends, boy friends should be a seperate playing field.

I've been an idiot (long)

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