Bf and girl he &quot;used&quot; to fancy

Relax! i doubt he fancies her to be honest, she was juts there and he had the choice of
waiting for you in the dinner room whislt chatting to a friend or
waiting in the corridor with nothing to do.

as a guy, he doesn't think 'will she be offended if i go with this girl who she knows i used to fancyif she's fully prepared to talk to him and possibly flirt with him, then he'd be going out with her, not you!

If i were you, I'd (involuntarily!) privately be completely paranoid, but publicly don't talk to him about it at all.

Hope that helps! good luck.

Reply 2

OP

Thanks for your reply

Reply 3

OP

Ooops, I pressed the submit button to quick.....

Thanks for your reply. What annoys me about this is that he did get the chance to wait in the classroom for me - it wasn't anything personal I had to speak to the teacher about. I just really want to know how he feels about her. Don't you think it means something that I found it obvious that he used to fancy her, at the time we are in a relationship?

Reply 4

Anonymous

Thanks for your reply. What annoys me about this is that he did get the chance to wait in the classroom for me - it wasn't anything personal I had to speak to the teacher about.

he might not have realised. and even if he did, guys are a little clueless on these things...

Anonymous

I just really want to know how he feels about her.

I know, but basically we could sit here and speculate all day, take into account everything he's ever said and done and take body language into account (which would be SO much fun and i'm as much as guilty of doing it as anyone) but ultimaely, we wont know, because we're not him!

It might be that he's messing around with you and just waiting for an oportunity to get with this other girl; or he could be totally innocent, and rather confused when you act 'strange' when he talks to the other girl.
we won't be able to work it out!

Anonymous

Don't you think it means something that I found it obvious that he used to fancy her, at the time we are in a relationship?

you mean you worked out that he used to fancy her by watching how he acts with her?
a) are you sure
b) if you are, no, it doesn't mean anything. Think of the times you've liked a guy and then got over it; do you ever fully stop flirting and treat them totally platonicaly?

Reply 5

--

3

To be honest, he probably does. But that doesn't mean hes going to do anything about it.

Reply 6

OP

bronsonbear

you mean you worked out that he used to fancy her by watching how he acts with her?
a) are you sure
b) if you are, no, it doesn't mean anything. Think of the times you've liked a guy and then got over it; do you ever fully stop flirting and treat them totally platonicaly?

(a) Yes I am very sure. I think its body language which made me work it out, unless I'm just psychic lol !! I did notice something just about the way he was, and thats when i confronted him about it for the first time, which was when he admitted he used to fancy her.

(b) I agree with what you say here

Reply 7

OP

What does everyone else think about this?

Reply 8

Anonymous

What does everyone else think about this?

yeah lol she's only got my opinion so far!

Reply 9

Dilute

15

I think that you are reading too much into this. You are probably good friends with people you used to fancy and if you stepped outside with one of them you probably wouldn't be thinking that you still fancied them, you'd just be ... there. As a friend. Just like with any other person.

However, I suppose it depends on this body language and how evident it is.

Reply 10

DoMakeSayThink

15

A girl I fancied for a while is one of my best friends. We both know nothing will ever happen between us, and we do flirt sometimes, but nothing is gunna come of it. Unless he starts spending more time with her than with you, you've nothing to worry about.

Reply 11

OP

Well my bf is thinking about looking for a new job at the moment, and she was talking to him about this job that she is thinking about applying for, and he's considering doing it too!!

Reply 12

Anonymous

Well my bf is thinking about looking for a new job at the moment, and she was talking to him about this job that she is thinking about applying for, and he's considering doing it too!!

ooh, ouch! Hard for you to put up with, but equally doesn't mean he likes her. it's difficult, because you will find it hard if they're working together, but if you talk to him about it he will be puzzled and annoyed that you would be that possesive of him, and indignant that you'd want him to give up a job and a source of money just becasue you feel uneasy about a girl he might be working with.

Hmm. make him realsie how much he'd be missing if he wasn't with you! and relax. i'd say it's far more likely you're reading too far into things than he's secretly usign you and ploting how to spend more time with girl B.

Reply 13

or try finding him a better/other job!

Reply 14

OP

When i next see my bf, I'm going to confront him properly and ask him if he fancies this girl and to give me an honest answer. When i've asked before he's said no, and i trust him, but as i've mentioned before, his body language tells me otherwise.
I'm not sure what his response will be, but if its a yes, and that he does fancy her, what do you believe is the best thing to do?

Reply 15

Anonymous

I'm not sure what his response will be, but if its a yes, and that he does fancy her, what do you believe is the best thing to do?

If he does fancy her, then tell him firmly that he needs to break up with you if he likes her more (be strong now!)
If he doesn't, apologise for having to ask, and confide your insecurities to him, and about his body language towards her.

Sound good? good luck with deciding to confront him, you're probably right that is the best thing to do if you fell hung up about it.

Let us know how it goes :smile:

Reply 16

OP

Thanks BronsonBear :smile:

If he says its only a small crush and wants to be with me more, whats the best thing to do? If anything, i believe its more likely he will say this, then that he fancies her more. He said to me that when he fancied her he didn't want to go out with her, and its possible to fancy someone and not want to go out with them.

Reply 17