Is it right?

Me and my girl friend live in long distance, her choice she wanted to move out for Univesity, and i have trust her and belive every word she says, she wants to go clubbing and house partys ...etc but i refused sayin i would rather you go with me, i wouldn't want you in that envviroment, (because that kinda env. is for linkin up oppisite gender, flirting, grinding, i kno some go for fun, but do u think am in the wrong, Shes in a relationship, should she be in thoes env.

Reply 1

scribble_girl

14

That took me about half an hour to read, thanks. ^_^
You have no right to tell her where or where not she can go, if you trust her absolutely then I see no reason why you would prevent her from going clubbing or to house parties. People do not just go to these for getting with other people, they go with friends in order to have a good time.

Reply 2

Flank Runner

you cant affect free will, if she wants to go then she will go, i find the less you try and control the better the relationship because your working together rather than limiting each other, have some faith

Reply 3

grace

15

maybe if it's a strip club you could voice some objection, but just going out with her friends?! do you expect her to sit home every night pining after you?! you remind me of my ex bf, blluueergh.

Reply 4

lazyswot

I agree with scribble girl. Just trust her. she should be able to go to parties and have fun with her friends, which is what she'll want to be doing at university. I don't really think you have a right to tell her not to, and she'll resent you if you try and forbid her. You really don't have to worry, if she loves you and she's worth it then she'll be faithful. :smile:

Reply 5

Naz1

OP

i hear you all, i i do trust her, its not that and obv. i dont want her staying at home only thinking of me, there are other ways to enjoy and have a laugh, i wuold have no rejections if she was to have a house party wid all her girls, and i know letting things be free is better, but is that the right enviroment 4 her to be in, i mean look at it if the tables were turned, how would it look if i choose to go clubbing fully aware half naked sexy beautifull girls will be dancing on me?? :s-smilie:

i mean when you get into a serious relationship that you want to last till eva, there is like a commitment were you will guard your self for you partner. if you get. sorri about the structure and wording, am used to short hand but its not 'allowed' on this forum.

Reply 6

skcollob

1

I think the most important thing in a relationship (well two things) are honesty and trust... you have to trust her that she wouldnt do anything. but to tell you the truth if she is tempted to do something with someone else then she will... Obviously there is a line that you would hope she wouldnt cross between talking to guys and dancing to taking things further - but if she really loves you (which im sure she does :smile:

) then its nothing to worry about :smile:

Distance makes the heart grow fonder... xxx

Reply 7

Naz1

OP

brokenalone

I think the most important thing in a relationship (well two things) are honesty and trust... you have to trust her that she wouldnt do anything. but to tell you the truth if she is tempted to do something with someone else then she will... Obviously there is a line that you would hope she wouldnt cross between talking to guys and dancing to taking things further - but if she really loves you (which im sure she does :smile:

) then its nothing to worry about :smile:

Distance makes the heart grow fonder... xxx

agreed but should she ber there from the begining? n that is the env. guys wil want to dance with her, and lets face it many will try other things,
honesty am tellin her my feeling n etc n she tells me all of wot she does, trust, i trust her not to be there from the begining i even said if uyou have then we can go together.

Reply 8

goodmen

13

Maybe you should go clubbing before you make all these assumptions to what its like

Reply 9

scribble_girl

14

Well.. obviously this is just my opinion but I think that people should be able to go where they want regardless of being in a relationship, generally. It's like.. you're never going to be able to stop other people from being around. If she wanted to cheat on you - she would, reagardless of where she's 'allowed' to go. If she wants to cheat on you, she will go out and get with someone, whether youve banned her or not; if she wants to cheat on you, a little thing like you 'banning' her from going places isn't going to stop her.

I honestly think you've just got to have faith. I mean, you can go out and see half-naked girls dancing around without having to pull them, can't you? (if not you have serious problems...lol) - well she is the same. This is the real world now.. there are going to be temptations out there. You can't stop her seeing these things - you just have to have faith in her making the decision not to do anything because she loves you. And if she cheats on you, she's not worth your time anyway :]

Reply 10

Bathwiggle

11

Im in a LDR,and my bf trusts me to go out clubbing and to partys as he knows that if guys come up to me, which they do, i will tell them to go away and i'll dance with my mates. I know he doesnt like me going, but i want to go out and have fun with friends, and he accepts that and just trusts me.

You shouldnt stop her going out as it shows you dont trust her.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

you sound like my current boyfriend. If you want to push her away then carry on being like this, you are going to make her life a misery. You obviously don't trust her otherwise it wouldn't matter where she went or who she was with etc. Seriously think about what your saying, if you love her and want to be with her forever then do not stop her from doing what she wants, because by the end of it you will just lose her

Reply 12

IndianDiva

If you try and control her, sooner or later she'll leave.

By the sounds of it, you don't trust her as much as you say you do.

Reply 13

singh1987

Well mate, if she loves you she wont do anything like that even in those environments. whenever you are in an environment like that, im sure yeah, temptation is there but you overcome it. i think you should talk to her rather than talking about it on a forum dude!

Reply 14

Meep!

9

Stop being so god damn paranoid! This is the sort of thing that wierd, overcontrolling types say. You cannot dictate to your girlfriend as to where she can go, and who she can see etc, if you don't trust her to be faithful, then don't bother staying with her. I'm in an LDR due to uni, and I've never once cheated on my guy. I'm in 'that kind of environment' all the time, and I would be incredibly annoyed if he were to tell me that I COULDN'T go out, just because he had no faith in me.

Reply 15

gracie88

14

Trust i think you could use some of that ... seriously clubs are like this, but if your girlfriend loves you she will tell any guy that trys it on to go do one! I know i do and my boyfriend would NEVER dream of trying to tell me not to go out, same as i never say to him i don't want him going clubbing when i'm not around. We trust eachother, and IMO a realtionship isn't healthy without trust.

Reply 16

Faith In Chaos

1

Judging from what you are saying I wouldn't bank on half naked beautiful girls dancing 'on' you. You seem very possessive, and it is not fair of you to do this to your girlfriend. She is at uni, and you are just going to ruin it for her! Are you saying you don't trust her to be around other guys? Really, get a grip!

Reply 17

*Katie*

1

Naz1

i hear you all, i i do trust her, its not that and obv. i dont want her staying at home only thinking of me, there are other ways to enjoy and have a laugh, i wuold have no rejections if she was to have a house party wid all her girls, and i know letting things be free is better, but is that the right enviroment 4 her to be in, i mean look at it if the tables were turned, how would it look if i choose to go clubbing fully aware half naked sexy beautifull girls will be dancing on me?? :s-smilie:

i mean when you get into a serious relationship that you want to last till eva, there is like a commitment were you will guard your self for you partner. if you get.

Biggest load of bull I've possibly ever heard. So the only "appropriate" environment for to be in is an all-girl house party :eek:

? WHAT?! Yes, there are other ways to have fun, but she doesn't want to do those things - she shouldn't be condemned to all-girl tea parties just because she has a boyfriend! How would it look?! It would look like she's an ordinary university student with the capacity to dance with a man *without* jumping on him - it's called self-restraint. What are you on about with the "guarding herserf" - against what? The possibility that she might have to say no to a guy who's hitting on her?
Man, she needs to get rid.