If He Loved Me He Wouldn't, Would He?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. We go to the same uni and live in the same block of halls. We met on the first day and have been inseparable since.

I love him so much. I have never felt about anyone like this, i can just lie by his side at night and watch him sleep and i feel so content that i have this perfect, beautiful guy in my life. I really hope i spend the rest of my life with him. He tells me he loves me too and that he's so deep in love with me. Always texting me really mushy stuff and cuddling and kissing me to sleep.

When things are good, they are great. Perfect. But when we argue he says he's going to see his friends and i won't see him till the next day. He does usually text the next day and he has usually forgotten about it, and i'm no longer mad at him cuz i'm just glad he text me. I can never stay mad at him...i'm scared of losing him. When we have a major argument he always ends up telling me we are over...and i say that i'm not leaving him. He's cried twice when he's said it. He always texts me saying sorry and that he loves me...and i can't imagine life without him. He's been such a great listener and just everything to me the last few months.

My friends say he cries when he says it because he doesn't mean it. And that he is just being stubborn and he's hurt. We went out last night and he was pissed off with me the whole day and i was out with my friends and he was out with his. When i went up to him he said to leave him alone. He was a bit drunk and i was too so i said i wasn't going. I tried to negotiate with him for an hour but he just wasn't having any of it. He told me to leave him alone and started crying. I hated leaving him in the state he was in but i decided that maybe i should have just gone when he had first asked. He texted me a few hours later saying he was sorry and i went to see him cuz i wanted to sort it out.

We made up and cuddled to sleep. He always does this and i always go back to him. But he loves me and i love him. I just hate arguing and today he said that his friend had told him that he was very unfair and harsh with me yesterday. He told me he agreed and that he DOES always say he's gonna leave me, but he also says that even though he says he's gonna leave me, i shouldnt believe it cuz he never wants to and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that he can see me as his wife. Does he love me? All i want is him. I can't imagine being with any other guy. I just can't describe how much i love him.

Is he just being childish by saying that cuz he knows it will hurt me and that i know he doesn't mean it so i will take him back?

Reply 1

StotheL

Sounds like he's just an all round stubborn guy,my boyfriend is like that and I am in a sense..i get all hyped up at the time and say things i don't regret and then get upset and then look back thinking what the hell have i done/said!

If he's a really good listener then some night go round to his and have a really good heart to heart about the issue,sit down and tell him how you feel..dont let him interupt and tell him everything you want to tell him and then let him tell you his feelings on the matter..getting everything out in the open is the way forward and it should help things!

It just seems like he's really stubborn and says things he doesn't mean in the spur of the moment then looks back and realises he was being a dick hence the apologies and the crying..just have a good heart to heart with him,then you will know where you stand so you can stress how much you really like/love him and how much he means to you and that you really dont want to lose him..a relationship is a two way thing and it does take work.good luck!x

Reply 2

Spacecam

On another viewpoint, this looks like a very claustrophobic relationship. I know you want him "all to yourself" all the time, but remember that University is a big experience for everyone, and everyone wants their own experience.

He wants his friends, and sure, you want yours too. That doesn't mean you can't have mutual friends - but let him have some air. Just because he's going with friends somewhere doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to spend time with you, its because he wants to spend some time with some other people.

If you don't spend time with other friends aswell as each other, you won't have many close friends left, and your relationship will suffer because of spending too much time together.

As for him saying its over, that is hurtful and he may appreciate that. He sounds so frustrated that you won't let him even go out with other friends for just one night. Your relationship is still quite immature and early, and you both need to learn TRUST. Remember that this relationship stuff is two-way - how would you feel if it was the other way around and he stopped you going out all the time?

I'm sure everythings ok and he does love you still, but give the guy abit of room, and don't be disheartened if he doesn't text back immediately or wants to go out. You are still at the same uni and can see each other often.