whats going on with my boyfriend?

Ok i've been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now, but its been pretty on and off. It started off great and he used to ring me loads, and coz we go to different unis he used to visit loads, but since we started the second year it feels like he's stopped caring about me. He bans me from going anywhere or doing anything like going to the pub and claims its because he doesnt get to do that kinda stuff, but he never rings to see how i am or anything. He barely txts, only in reply to my messages, and hes not interested in seeing me at all. I dont think there's anyone else so i just dont know whats going on. He says he doesnt want to break up with me but i dont know how much longer i can go on having a long distance relationship based on 0-5 txts a day. I've tried talking to him but its like talking to a brick wall. Please help, cheers.

Reply 1

stainedglass

1

First, he has no right to ban you from going places. If his social life isn't as good as yours, that's his problem.

You could try talking to him again properly if you don't want to lose the relationship and try and sort things out so he knows you need him to be more attentive. To be honest, I don't think you should have to base a relationship on a few texts a day. If he doesn't want to talk again, then maybe you would be better off ditching him in favour for someone else who would treat you properly.

Reply 2

Sausage

10

Hes doing what my ex was doing to me. And i ended things.

It crushes to think that all of a sudden someone who you love can just turn and not ring or text or 'seem' like they give a damn.

You should talk to him about what is going on. With my ex it got to the stage where he would tell me to 'sod off' and that i was being 'paranoid about everything and i had to back off' and that really isnt the way a relationship should work.

There are 2 levels. Your level and his and they should be around even par.

Defo talk to him and find out why hes doing this cos the longer it goes on for, the more hurt your going to become.

X

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah today he's txted once. it sucks. im scared of ending it though. everytime i try to do it, a few days/weeks later we just get back together coz i miss him. I need to be able to do it and follow through, but i still love him so it hurts so much.

Reply 4

Meep!

9

Wow. He's banned you from going to the pub? Why? Does he not trust you? That's not a good thing in a relationship, for one party to ban the other from having a social life besides them. If I were you, I'd tell him that either you get to keep your social life, AND that if he wants to stay with you, to start making an effort, or he goes. Harsh, I know, but this relationship sounds totally destructive to me.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

i'm in a similar position. i've been going out with my bf for about 2 months now & he never calls & hardly txts etc. i'm not really sure what to do coz i really do love him. i'm just not sure whether he loves me (he says he does but never shows it) but it's just so hard to know whether the feeling is mutual.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

i'm in a similar position. i've been going out with my bf for about 2 months now & he never calls & hardly txts etc. i'm not really sure what to do coz i really do love him. i'm just not sure whether he loves me (he says he does but never shows it) but it's just so hard to know whether the feeling is mutual.

Yeah thats really similar to my situation. He hardly ever tells me he loves me or anything. I've tried the whole "im going out with my friends, like it or not" but he calls me selfish and moans down my throat about it so much, and so in the end i get upset and apologise. So now we have a deal that i dont get to go out until he gets to go out at uni, which sucks. I know i shouldnt have to put up with it, but i love him, and i've been with him for so long now, it's hard to just up sticks and leave.

Reply 7

Naz1

Anonymous

Yeah thats really similar to my situation. He hardly ever tells me he loves me or anything. I've tried the whole "im going out with my friends, like it or not" but he calls me selfish and moans down my throat about it so much, and so in the end i get upset and apologise. So now we have a deal that i dont get to go out until he gets to go out at uni, which sucks. I know i shouldnt have to put up with it, but i love him, and i've been with him for so long now, it's hard to just up sticks and leave.

Thats really off, you should talk to, find out his reasons properly and and agree on term you can both live with, you got to give to get, theres always gona be compromises in a relationship but dont let them destroy you.

if it it satys that you cant go out because he cant, trust you deserve so much better, and am sure if you let him go you will realise there are people out there that will give you that

Reply 8

hippieglitter

19

If he never rings you or visits you, how is he to know if your going to the pub of not and he has no right to ban you from doing this stuff just cos he can't ,what a selfish prick. Go out, have fun, do what you like. Dump him, he's not worth it. I had a similar situation with my ex apart from instead of banning me he just rang me up as soon as i got home even if it was 3 am and interrogated me about who i'd been with, where i'd been and what i done, that was the only reason he ever contacted me. Of course you'll miss him, i missed my ex when i dumped him, but i just kept telling myself that it was for the best and i dumped him for a reason. If you need more reason to break up with him draw up a list of pros and cons, i did and though the cons far outweighed the pros it still took me months after that to actually go through with it. Bite the bullet, do it. You'll be happier in the long run, trust me.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks everyone, you've been really helpful. I'll give it all some serious thought.

whats going on with my boyfriend?

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