After 9 years of fighting, and at the age of 20 the relationship between my mother and I is now over. It seems to be over a cumulation of events including violence and betrayal over the years. I've decided to cut her out of my life and need reassurance that this is the right decision.
From a young age, around 11 my mother and I began arguing fiercly. She began to use violence against me despite not having hit/smacked me as a young child. I thought this was just part of a normal angry mother-teenage daughter relationship. As I got older 14/15 I started being violent back. At 17 I punched my mother in the face after much provoking but ofcourse regretted it immediately and have never retaliated to her violence since.
Psycholgically she taunted me that I must be thick for having to study for so many hours/ would throw my notes out of the window/critiscise my physical appearance. I'm not saying I'm whiter than white as I would give it back. She would exclude me from evenings out and take her work mates especially those who were of a similar age to me out for dinners/out to bars. Yet if I would suggest her and I go out she would appear disinterested.
Her partner of 2 years(an uneducated toyboy whom she secretly married before introducing to us) has been violent towards both me and my 15 year old brother. The violence between my brother and her partner escalated to include many other people and the use of weapons. Consequently neither of us like this 'partner' who has taken thousands of pounds off her (despite us not being very well off in the first place) and cannot stand to be near him. She broke up with this person 5 months ago and we thought that was it. We've found out she was back with him. My brother moved out and now is living on friends sofa's while going to college and I am at uni away from home. She blames me for my brother leaving and has told me never to speak to her again.
Should I give up with this woman? I feel like she has killed all my love.
btw contact I have with father is minimal