The Student Room Group

Of mice and men and sandwiches...

This may all seem rather trivial. I honestly can't say. But what I do know is that I need to vent some ideas over the internet - it seeming the appropriate place.

Today (yes, despite the lingering snow) I'm going out to lunch with my ex girlfriend. Put simply, I'm suffering from anorexia nervosa. I promised her, and myself, and my mother (I'm in therapy etc, just so you all know) that I would go to the cafe and eat something. Something normal that is, as opposed to fruit or something.

Try as I might to imagine it any other way, I'm petrified at the very thought of consuming anything. Maybe it is trivial, but I don't want to sit there and openly admit my own failure by meekly smiling and ordering fruit when I SAID I was going to have something more substantial.

You can understand, perhaps, what a retrograde step this would be for somebody trying to recover. Perhaps I set myself far too high of an obstacle too early on in the treatment process? I can't sit there and let myself do this to myself. I look haggard and tired and sallow and thin and I hate it. But the thought of loosing control is even worse. The thought of eating outside of my comfort zones is too much. Ho hum.

But, as that famous Scottish poet once remarked, "but mice isnt fattening, is it?"...or something like that.

P.S. Sorry for my babbling. I'm just having a bloody hard time with all of this (it's very new to me to be officially classed as having a real problem.)
Reply 1
Ok, how about this: you come to the cafe and have the smallest little sandwich they have. Or a piece of toast or perhaps a ginger cookie? And with it you can have hot chocolate or something.

And eat it slowly, take really tiny bites and chew on each bite for very long. If you feel like you can't eat more, just take a break and continue in a minute and drink.

Good luck. I am absolutely sure you can do this. Really. I can tell from your tone. You'll make it.
Reply 2
Losing control?

Mate, you have anorexia nervosa... I wouldn't exactly describe you as being 'in control'

Just eat something! Do it for the people you care about if you're not going to do it for yourself. It's not exactly pleasant to see someone you care for waste away in front of your eyes.

You ALWAYS have control over your weight if that's what bothers you (based on that quote). Exercise and a good diet are your friends, starvation is not. You're not going to suddenly become 'fat' because you ate a proper meal for a change.

Don't run before you can walk. If a 'substantial' meal is too much for you just yet, try aiming a little lower.
Reply 3
ladylady
Ok, how about this: you come to the cafe and have the smallest little sandwich they have. Or a piece of toast or perhaps a ginger cookie? And with it you can have hot chocolate or something.

And eat it slowly, take really tiny bites and chew on each bite for very long. If you feel like you can't eat more, just take a break and continue in a minute and drink.

Good luck. I am absolutely sure you can do this. Really. I can tell from your tone. You'll make it.


Good advice IMO, small steps...

Although, I personally disagree with the 'small bites' as that to me suggests dwelling over the food and creating huge expectations when that is what the OP needs to be avoiding. Try it OP, if it works you can only progress :smile:

Best of luck too.
Reply 4
ladylady
Ok, how about this: you come to the cafe and have the smallest little sandwich they have. Or a piece of toast or perhaps a ginger cookie? And with it you can have hot chocolate or something.

And eat it slowly, take really tiny bites and chew on each bite for very long. If you feel like you can't eat more, just take a break and continue in a minute and drink.

Good luck. I am absolutely sure you can do this. Really. I can tell from your tone. You'll make it.


Thankyou for your quick responce (I needed one :smile:).

I like your idea. The problem is I don't know what the cafe will have (it being a gastro-chain-costa type) with things which are all bloody well crammed with (quelle horreur!) food. Yes.

I'll do my best. Plus there's always retail therapy afterwards.
Reply 5
Anonymous
Thankyou for your quick responce (I needed one :smile:).

I like your idea. The problem is I don't know what the cafe will have (it being a gastro-chain-costa type) with things which are all bloody well crammed with (quelle horreur!) food. Yes.

I'll do my best. Plus there's always retail therapy afterwards.


Just 'pop in' and pick what takes your fancy.
Reply 6
I'm going in with a marker pen to scribble out the nutritional content on anything that I buy.

Gosh, I might just patent that.
Reply 7
Pancakes! They're pretty small, but they can qualify for a meal! Or an omelette! I'm really quite sure they'll have things like this.

You could have that and, say, a piece of fuit. The piece of fruit would be a dessert, which would give the other meal a quality of a "main meal" even if it's in the "antipasti" section on the menu.

Dude, you can make this. Just eat it for your friend. She'll be SO HAPPY. Seriously.

If I made it then you can make it too. All best.
Reply 8
Oh, and for other times, I found this worked for me:

When you are eating, take a book with you or a magazine and read while you eat. That'll take the pressure off eating. But be determined to eat a particular meal (however small) before you, say, finish a chapter or be determined to "take one more bite" with every page you turn in the magazine.

I gotta run now - literally, hehe, i'm going running.
Reply 9
That's what I keep thinking; about how happy it'll make her for me to take such a huge step. I can't think of anything I wan't to do less than to dissapoint her and mess this up.

Only over an hour before she gets here to pick me up.

Thankyou, again :smile:.
Reply 10
GOOD LUCK. You'll make her the happiest girl in the world and it only takes a sandwich, hehe.