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How to restore faith in some one you have cheated on

ok then i apologize before hand for cheating o my girlfriend to everyone out there i know i am scum, and you couldnt make me feel anymore ashamed than i am but i really would like some advice.
well basically ive cheated on her and she found out..... its taken till to know to realise how desperatly i love my gf and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I have never been so sincere about anything towards the apology i have given an regret i feel. i know i couldmake her so happy if she was to give me a second chance. ive told her honest truth about all the ins and outs of it and i also wrote her one of my most personal secrets in a letter and gave it to her to confide that my life is an open book to her.... i love her so much and want her back what can i do to convince her that she should give me a second chance

ps i know alot of you will want to slate me and right you are in wantin to but please any positive advice would be great

Reply 1

*titanium*

12

I would say take her out somewhere expensive, because if you show that you are willing to put lots of money in to the relationship, it shows you are not just playing her.

Reply 2

bunthulhu

14

I've never been in your situation so I'm not really sure what advice to give but I will say that the first important thing is that you are truly sorry for what you have done and clearly you are so this is the first step, and I hope she can see it. Good luck x

Reply 3

bronsonbear

1

dicky2852

ok then i apologize before hand for cheating o my girlfriend to everyone out there i know i am scum, and you couldnt make me feel anymore ashamed than i am but i really would like some advice.
well basically ive cheated on her and she found out..... its taken till to know to realise how desperatly i love my gf and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I have never been so sincere about anything towards the apology i have given an regret i feel. i know i couldmake her so happy if she was to give me a second chance. ive told her honest truth about all the ins and outs of it and i also wrote her one of my most personal secrets in a letter and gave it to her to confide that my life is an open book to her.... i love her so much and want her back what can i do to convince her that she should give me a second chance

ps i know alot of you will want to slate me and right you are in wantin to but please any positive advice would be great

The letter idea seems a good one, and if you're truly sincere i think she will realsie that in time. how long is it since you cheated/how long have you given your gf to take it all in and think?

Reply 4

singh1987

Mate, you cheated in her and she hurt. i personally could not forget the fact my ex cheated on me. i tried to give it a second go but it just doesn't feel right. I don't know how you can convince her mate. i wish i could help on this but it really depends on your girlfriend. its hard to restore faith mate, its really hard and only your girlfriend can tell you how to restore her faith in you!!! i wish you luck mate. i personally despise cheaters and i do think they are scum but you seem genuine and i can see you totally regret it. i just wish you luck, and i actually mean you need luck!!!

Reply 5

dicky2852

OP

thanks for replies so far, its been a week since i did it, but i have totally come open about everything. i want to give her time to think, but valentines is coming up and i must make sure she gets something nice for valenitnes... she deserves it, i just feel lost though without her and giving her time is hardest thing i can do because i cannot bear to be away from her a single moment... but if its for the best

Reply 6

rosetinted

2

I don't really agree with *titanium*. I'd say trying to buy your way back into favour is a terrible idea. Showing that you are willing to throw money at a problem is not the same thing as showing that you genuinely care about someone. Thing is, you may not be able to make it up to her and make things OK again. Personally I would never get back together with someone if they cheated on me. If she feels the same way then there is nothing you can do to make things right.

You have to try and prove to her your feelings and show through your actions that you are 100% devoted to her and only her. It's not going to be something you can fix and move on from, you've done something that will destroy the trust you had and probably be a big blow to her confidence. Trust will have to be rebuilt and it is going to take a long time.

Ask her if she feels like this is something you 2 can work through. If it is then see how she wants to do it. Really it's all in her hands, you have to find out her wishes and then respect them. Apologising over and over again is something you want to do to make yourself feel better. What does she want?

Reply 7

Bexxxx

14

Try and treat her loads, make her feel wanted. But she'll never trust you fully again, whats to say you wont go out and cheat on her again? Doesnt sound like you like her as much as you think you do.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Out of interest, what made you cheat? My ex boyfriend cheated on me, and as much as I tried to forgive and forget, it was always in the back of my mind, and left me feeling insecure and not good enough for him.

You need to show your girlfriend that she;s the only one that you want, and the only one that your content with, because the fact that you cheated on her might make her feel that your not happy with her.

Reply 9

Trigger

18

the ball is in her court so its up to her whether it will work or not. can i ask why you cheated?

Reply 10

MagicNMedicine

20

too late for the sob story now chump

Reply 11

bunthulhu

14

rosetinted

I don't really agree with *titanium*. I'd say trying to buy your way back into favour is a terrible idea. Showing that you are willing to throw money at a problem is not the same thing as showing that you genuinely care about someone. Thing is, you may not be able to make it up to her and make things OK again. Personally I would never get back together with someone if they cheated on me. If she feels the same way then there is nothing you can do to make things right.

Yeah, I agree with this.

OP for Valentines Day try making something for her. For my first valentines with my ex I made a big A3 collage of my own drawings of little cartoons and scenarios that were sort of like our private jokes or things that were just cute. Things like winnie the pooh and piglet telling a rude joke, something to do with his bowling, a moogle because we both liked final fantasy - silly things! He loved it, because I'd obviously put so much effort into it and it was so personal. I think I'd fall off my chair if someone gave me something like that ( :frown:

!) and I think it's an awesome way to show you care :smile:

Reply 12

bunthulhu

14

MagicNMedicine

too late for the sob story now chump

Slightly unhelpful :rolleyes:

Reply 13

jl7

I know! Get one of your mates to point out this thread to her, so she'll see that you really are sorry and sincere. (Of course this mate mustn't tell her that you asked him to do this, or it'll lose credibility.) I think it's a good idea!

Reply 14

dicky2852

OP

the reason i cheated was due lack of sex.........******ing disgraceful excuse i know, but ironic thing is the girl i cheated on her with was **** and my gf isthe best sex ever.......but id quite happily give ex up for her forever jus to be with her again

Reply 15

bunthulhu

14

jl7

I know! Get one of your mates to point out this thread to her, so she'll see that you really are sorry and sincere. (Of course this mate mustn't tell her that you asked him to do this, or it'll lose credibility.) I think it's a good idea!

Except your post just gave it away :biggrin:

Reply 16

Trigger

18

lol

Reply 17

IndianDiva

You sound like you really do regret what you did and I hope you realise you're going to have to work very very hard to get her trust back.

I guess you just have to show your full commitment to her, probably over a long period of time, to prove that you really are sorry for what you did, and you do love her. Just persevere and things should hopefully work out.