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Yet another sex-related question!

Perhaps this is a stupid question but I'd really appreciate some advice!

I'm not a virgin, but my new boyfriend is... or was until the other night when we had sex anyway. It was all over pretty quickly, as he said it was really intense and he wasn't used to it. I'm not really very experienced with stuff like that since my ex was the complete opposite - he was so nervous when we first started having sex that he couldn't finish.

So I suppose what I want to know is, is finishing really quickly very common and will it get longer the more he gets used to it? Is there anything I can do to help? He was quite embarrassed, I don't really know what to do!

Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

bunnycatkid

He was probably just very excited! He will probably be able to last longer with time, you can get condoms that will desensitise him so he takes longer to finish, could be a good idea to get some.

Reply 2

Jennybean

Yeah it's extremely common, especially for a guy who's only ever really known his own hand. You could try going down on him first and then having sex - he's likely to last longer on his second go. He can practise lasting longer on his own by bringing himself to the brink of orgasm then stopping and squeezing the base of his penis. The more he can control how quickly he comes by himself the better he'll be at doing it during sex. If he feels the pleasure is too intense you can always go really slowly, and get him to think of something really unsexy (I hear the thought of Anne Widdecombe naked on a pogo stick works quite well) or practise the stop-start technique (pretty self-explanatory I hope). If all else fails there are topical applications you can use that contain a mild anaesthetic - in fact I'm pretty sure you can buy condoms that have an anti-climax solution inside them. Hope this helps!

Reply 3

KellsEnder

bunnycatkid

you can get condoms that will desensitise him so he takes longer to finish, could be a good idea to get some.

Durex Performa - http://www.shopdurex.com/product_info.php?product_id=50

Reply 4

Meep!

Completely normal for the first time. Most guys are done in a matter of seconds on their first ever attempt...

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

If he keep having a problem of coming too early, you could always advise him to have a **** a couple of hours before you come over...

Reply 6

jumping10

When my friend lost his virginity he told me it was over in miliseconds (it really pissed the girl off!)

But after that he can last for hours now (our conversations are way too in depth...!!!!) so dont worry-it was his first time, most people are always crap their first time!

Reply 7

street

Anonymous

If he keep having a problem of coming too early, you could always advise him to have a **** a couple of hours before you come over...

Yh this would very much help. Durex performa condoms shd help.

Reply 8

theredsox

Heh. With first time sex sounding as crap as it does, it makes you wonder why anyone ever tries again :biggrin:

Reply 9

Meep!

theredsox

Heh. With first time sex sounding as crap as it does, it makes you wonder why anyone ever tries again :biggrin:

I think it must just be something to do with the underlying carnal whatnot of humans...can't understand how nuns manage!

Reply 10

Wez

KellsEnder

Durex Performa - http://www.shopdurex.com/product_info.php?product_id=50

Or they can just make you go flaccid half way through. :s-smilie:

Reply 11

L0RA

Wez

Or they can just make you go flaccid half way through. :s-smilie:

Talking from experience? :wink:

Practice makes perfect! In my opinion i'd rather the guy be totally comfortable and come far too quickly than to think how nervous he is and know thats why hes taking so long :s-smilie:

You could have always tried again after and he would have taken longer..

Reply 12

Meep!

L0RA

Practice makes perfect! In my opinion i'd rather the guy be totally comfortable and come far too quickly than to think how nervous he is and know thats why hes taking so long :s-smilie:

You could have always tried again after and he would have taken longer..

Totally agree, my bf got quite embarassed on the first time...but now he's fine. In fact, he was fine like, second time.

Reply 13

Psyk

Try and make him feel like the best is yet to come. If it's going to be the same all the way through there's not much incentive to last longer. If he thinks he's gonna get to see/do something more interesting he'll make sure it doesn't end prematurely.

Thats how it works when you watch porn so I'm sure the theory can be applied to actual sex too.