The Student Room Group

what's going on with him??

i've been with my bf for 2 months now but theres a few things that i really don't like about our relationship. it's prob easier if i make a list:
-he never rings/hardly txts
-he'll only see me 3 times a week despite living 10 mins away
-we still get awkward silences
-i feel in competition with his female friends coz he seems to be more relaxed around them
-he never buys me drinks
-he won't have sex with me (although i don't mind this, he'll still only go as far as kissing)

however, i do actually really like him as a person & more than a friend so i really don't wanna end things with him. i've also tried talking to him about these things but they never change so it just seems as though whenever we meet i'm always moaning at him which i feel bad about. i dunno whether it's me or him with the prob. Help!
Reply 1
on the plus side, he's not being abusive, rude, trying to take advantage of you or ignoring you for weeks on end. if it's making you really unhappy and he can't/won't change, then end it. otherwise, enjoy it.
Reply 2
3 times a week sounds pretty good to me.

I would talk over some of the issues. Buying you drinks seems a little petty though.
well you've only been together for 2months so you might still get akward silences. As for seeing each other for 3days a week maybe tell him you'd like to see him more often or plan days out together. The girl thing could be because he's been friends with them longer than he's been with you probably so he will be more comfortable with them.
I wouldn't give up yet if I was you
Reply 4
I would say wait for a bit. i think he is genuine and wants to be with you. if he didn't he would have argued back. just give him a little space and that. otherwise i do not see why this will not work!
Reply 5
Three times a week is still every other day, how often did you expect to be seeing him?
The drinks thing needn't be an issue really, there are more important things!
And the female friends thing, he will be more comfortable around them, he's known them a lot longer than he's known you (I presume), give that time. Maybe try getting to know them a bit, that'll help ease the tension between you and them.
Reply 6
The first 2 months of a relationship should be the best. It doesn't sound like you're very happy and he's not treating you the way he should be. If you really like him you'll have to stick it out but if it's making you unhappy you need to properly talk to him about it or end it before things get worse.
Sounds kinda like what my friend went through last summer. She got with this guy who did similar stuff to what's on 'your list'. She was really unhappy and the reason why her bf acted the way he did was because she was going to uni in september and he was trying not to get too attached.
However, please don't assume this is your case too. Talk to your bf :smile:
Reply 7
Maybe he's relaxed around his female friends coz he knows they're just friends, but with you, if he genuinely loves and cares about you, he may be worried about overstepping the line or offending you in any way.

Seeing each other 3 times a week is reasonable you know, you can't be glued to each other 24/7... you do both need space.

As for not ringing/texting/buying you drinks... I don't really know, it could be a financial thing - with being students and all...

You've only been together 2 months, and maybe he isn't ready to have sex with you just yet.

Give him time and I'm sure he'll ease into the relationship more.
Yeah most girls would be glad that a guy wasnt rushing in and trying to force them to have sex before they wanted too. Maybe he jsut genuinely likes you and wants to take it slow, that way it'll probably last longer
yeah did you guys rush into it? because lets say you guys took it slow, then you would have been like his other female friends and he would be all relaxed around you