The Student Room Group

21st Birthday nightmare- should I not be angry?

My family arranged a tea party with a cake which was cool (this was yesterday) as I didn't want anything big and invited a few friends, I invited 4 but 2 turned up lol, anyway we had it at a house which my relatives own and I told one of my friends to come to my house so that my parents could take us. She has had a baby and I thought that her parents were minding him but she turned up with him saying that her parents had gone out. My parents suggested that she left the pram at our house so we could go in the car but she said that she would rather walk because there is no baby seat in our car (its law to have one now I think). This was at 6.30 pm so my parents said that I would have to walk with her while they went in the car and it took us 40 mins, on the way there it started raining so I looked a right mess when we arrived lol, I was really annoyed though because I rang to tell my other friend that I would be arriving late because we were walking with a pram and she said that she couldn't come. What annoyed me even more was I accidently dropped the mobile and its now scratched. Anyway there was only my friend and turned up along with family, we both had to walk back again at about 10.30 pm because the baby needed feeding and she didn't want to breast feed him there she wanted to do it at home.

If you have got this far well done:p: , anyway I was just really really annoyed on the night at my friend though I didn't show it one bit I acted nice, my parents say that Im being childish feeling mad at her because why should she risk her babies life in a car etc.. I know they are right but I dunno im just annoyed its typical of my friend..not that shes done anything wrong. I don't know why I feel like this (other than the phone incident). Am I immature or ungrateful?

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Reply 1
No, I'd be annoyed as well. Who'd take a baby to a 21st birthday party? If she couldn't get anyone to mind the baby she should've stayed at home rather than making you change your plans so much. Sounds like you had a terrible night, but of course you did. Noone wants to going home at 10.30 on their 21st so their friend can feed the baby. :s-smilie: I think your friend was inconsiderate.
Reply 2
pinkpinkuk
No, I'd be annoyed as well. Who'd take a baby to a 21st birthday party? If she couldn't get anyone to mind the baby she should've stayed at home rather than making you change your plans so much. Sounds like you had a terrible night, but of course you did. Noone wants to going home at 10.30 on their 21st so their friend can feed the baby. :s-smilie: I think your friend was inconsiderate.


Yeah this is pretty much what I wanted to say but I didn't quite have the balls to look like a baby hater :biggrin:
Reply 3
I can understand why your a little mad. But your parents are right the baby cant go in the car and I can understand she would feel uncomfortable breast feeding in a strange place. I take it you dont have a child?
I think a lot of events that were out of your control all came together and now your feeling a little ket down by it. Try to forget it and move on? Hard I know, I think you might be mad at your other friends for not comming and are taking it out on the one with the baby, at least she turned up... Its hard being 21 I should know its not much easyer being 22 you just learn more on the way!

I hope you feel happyer soon!
Reply 4
She sounds like a right asshat.
Reply 5
bunthulhu
Yeah this is pretty much what I wanted to say but I didn't quite have the balls to look like a baby hater :biggrin:


Bwahahahaa I don't mind looking like a baby hater. Babies can't defend themselves against criticism :evil:
Reply 6
pinkpinkuk
No, I'd be annoyed as well. Who'd take a baby to a 21st birthday party? If she couldn't get anyone to mind the baby she should've stayed at home rather than making you change your plans so much. Sounds like you had a terrible night, but of course you did. Noone wants to going home at 10.30 on their 21st so their friend can feed the baby. :s-smilie: I think your friend was inconsiderate.


well when she came to my house with him I did say it doesn't matter, but I didn't think about there being no baby seat in the car:rolleyes: I thought she would have had some baby milk with her too I didn't think she would insist on going home and breast feeding, she couldn't really walk home alone (at least accoding to my parents).
Reply 7
Gaylee
I can understand why your a little mad. But your parents are right the baby cant go in the car and I can understand she would feel uncomfortable breast feeding in a strange place. I take it you dont have a child?
I think a lot of events that were out of your control all came together and now your feeling a little ket down by it. Try to forget it and move on? Hard I know, I think you might be mad at your other friends for not comming and are taking it out on the one with the baby, at least she turned up... Its hard being 21 I should know its not much easyer being 22 you just learn more on the way!

I hope you feel happyer soon!


Yea thats what I thought she was the one who had a real excuse not to turn up but she still did, even with something holding her back, (and me back lol).
I was annoyed at the other friends like you said it was just the whole night lol. I didn't mind the baby being there but we didn't HAVE to go home early.
Reply 8
I'd be very annoyed but take comfort in the fact that you're not stuck with a baby at a young age and will have plenty of opportunities to party in future. I would have thought the least your friend could do was go up to a bedroom and breastfeed. What's the problem there?
Reply 9
sidi
I'd be very annoyed but take comfort in the fact that you're not stuck with a baby at a young age and will have plenty of opportunities to party in future. I would have thought the least your friend could do was go up to a bedroom and breastfeed. What's the problem there?


Thats what I don't understand but I don't want to question her about it it will sound like im being funny or accusing her (im a coward :tongue:). There were 2 bedrooms and both had chairs in, no one currently lives in the house because my relatives are going to rent it out I think. I guess she really wanted the comfort of her own home.
Reply 10
pinkpinkuk
Bwahahahaa I don't mind looking like a baby hater. Babies can't defend themselves against criticism :evil:


Babies are annoying!! They are just slow and take up so much room, there mothers are annoying to.

Anyway op she probably wanted to go home earlier because she didn't want to be walking back with the baby at 1 am... doubt it was to feed the baby she could have easily took some formula or something equivilent.
Reply 11
You don't sound like a coward to me! More like a really kind person who even has to justify being narked because others have spoiled her 21st.
I can understand why your a little mad. But your parents are right the baby cant go in the car and I can understand she would feel uncomfortable breast feeding in a strange place. I take it you dont have a child?


Not the OP's problem. She doesn't have a baby and shouldn't be expected to change her plans for someone else's. The friend should have stayed at home IMO.
Reply 13
Babies are foul- I am a proud baby-hater!!

She shouldn't have done that- sounds bloody thick taking a baby to any party let alone a 21st!!
Reply 14
I think you have a right to be annoyed... and your friend was just being stupidly fussy.

Its all done now though, so don't let it bother you.
Reply 15
I can't imagine anything worse than being invited to a friends 21st birthday
party for 'tea and cake' with her family.
You should be thankful that your friend with the kid turned up. At least she made the effort.
Personally speaking I'd rather be down the pub having a few drinks and a bit
of a laugh. Don't forget, you're 21 now....not 12 !
Reply 16
JakeThePeg
I can't imagine anything worse than being invited to a friends 21st birthday
party for 'tea and cake' with her family.
You should be thankful that your friend with the kid turned up. At least she made the effort.
Personally speaking I'd rather be down the pub having a few drinks and a bit
of a laugh. Don't forget, you're 21 now....not 12 !



What if the op doesn't like pubs? Should she have gone 'oh I want tea and cake with my family but its uncool so Id best go to the pub and laugh' you think like a 15 year old lol don't be such a soft s***.
Reply 17
Riddy
What if the op doesn't like pubs? Should she have gone 'oh I want tea and cake with my family but its uncool so Id best go to the pub and laugh' you think like a 15 year old lol don't be such a soft s***.


lol yea I go to the pub twice a week anyway so whats the point in doing the same again for your 21 st! I wanted my family to be there so I had a mini tea party, was good:p:
JakeThePeg
I can't imagine anything worse than being invited to a friends 21st birthday
party for 'tea and cake' with her family.
You should be thankful that your friend with the kid turned up. At least she made the effort.
Personally speaking I'd rather be down the pub having a few drinks and a bit
of a laugh. Don't forget, you're 21 now....not 12 !


Ironically, you're the one that needs to grow up.
JakeThePeg
I can't imagine anything worse than being invited to a friends 21st birthday
party for 'tea and cake' with her family.
You should be thankful that your friend with the kid turned up. At least she made the effort.
Personally speaking I'd rather be down the pub having a few drinks and a bit
of a laugh. Don't forget, you're 21 now....not 12 !


Mate I wouldn't be comming to your 21st thats just sad, I do that most days of the week