Feelings Rather Destroyed.

I'm really sorry to burden you with this :frown:

About 2 months ago my girl friend split with me, so far reason is unknown. It just happened over the course a single night. She had been in hospital for some time, paralytic for over a week (I had travelled down to be at her bedside in the middle of my exams. This was the last time I got to hold her, to kiss her. The last thing I still see at night is me having to walk away to get back to my exams. It hurts beyond words) and then not even a week later she was going out every night (I wasn’t complaining, it just didn't seem like her) and on the Saturday night I found myself in tears as she told me it wasn't working over the internet. We'd never argued once during the amazing year and a half we'd spent together.

Now, I love her dearly, but I know it's the past and I really really want to get on with my life. I've been through some horrible weeks, and it's not been easy. We had been talking alot about the future before the split, talking about engagement, and I feel silly now thinking back as I had already planned the weekend away, just her and I, where I was going to ask for that engagement.

That aside, I feel I just seem to be hitting walls every time I get close to getting over her. Every time I get close, I'm just hit in the face. And the following is why I ask for your advice.

My best friend is starting to meet up with her, so far innocently. They weren't previously close, not at all, but it seems after the split he's becoming progressively closer. For that matter so is my sister. It's taken my emotions to be literally ripped out of me for them to become closer to the girl who did this to me. Those I thought who were close to me. It seems now I'm in Manchester and they're on the east coast I'm not of any importance that my feelings don't hurt from that far away. I want to move on in life but when I find out my best friend is spending more time with my ex, I'm starting to ask myself questions. I wouldn't even think of spending time with a friends ex because I know it would hurt him, and I cant see how it's any different now.

I'm sorry to rant on. I just feel I have no one to turn to. Part of me wants to move on, part of me still feel for her. All in all, I just want the pain I'm still feeling to go away :frown:

My closest friend here in Manchester has been a terrific person, but I hate after this long to keep burdening him with my problems.

I’m sorry. :frown:

Reply 1

Spacecam

Oh ****. Thats bad :hugs:

I don't think there is much to say apart from that's all very unfair and you don't deserve that. Did you ask her why since? Sorry I've not got much useful to say.

Reply 2

Claire_Elizabeth

First of all, *Massive cuddle* second of all if you really need a real cuddle walk round to the student village because thats where i live :smile:

Im so sorry to hear what has happened and i can understand why your emotions will be all over the place. Obviously it will take time to get over her, you may not (because obviously there still will be feelings there). However, the best thing you can do is just carry on as normal and keep living your everyday life. Its easier said than done i know, i was with my ex for a year and even now i still think of him to this day depsite him being a ******!
It sounds to me as if your ex will be feeling as you are, perhaps this is why she is getting close to your sister and friend because they are the closest thing to you she can be because you live so far away (if that makes sense)?
All i can offer at this time is a hug because unfortunately it will take time to get through this. *hugs*

Reply 3

Citation

I thank you for your advice, both of you. It really means a lot to me. I have tried to to ask her but it's never a straight answer, dodging through suspected false truths and that is what eats me up inside even more, each night.

I can see what you are saying Claire, but I find it hard to except that she feels even close to how i feel. I just wish she would disappear from my life, not to be harsh, but she always seem to turn up at the worse time, to hurt me even more. I thought it was love, but it's obvious love can be perceived in many different ways.

I just hope you're both right and I just hope time will get me through this.

I'm sorry to of troubled you.

Reply 4

Claire_Elizabeth

Apparently time is a healer and for me it has worked quite well. What you have to understand is that there will always be somone better, that sounds harsh but i personally believe that everything happens for a reason and you need to believe that if it wasnt meant to be then im sorry to say it wasnt meant to be. The best thing you can do is try and get on with life!
I know something that may cheer you up if you are interested. Our uni (if youre at man met) is having a bar crawl on weds, its going to be fun and it sounds like you need something like this to take your mind of things.
Hope you are okay, chin up, keep smiling *hugs*

Reply 5

Citation

I sure hope so. Thank you so very much for your advice. As I said before hand, I get closer and closer to feeling that the past has become the past, and then she just turns up again or something happens to rip all self-esteem from me and any hope of getting through this.

Yup, a proud member of MMU. I might just take up on that night, could do with a laugh that isn't involved with this joke called life.

Thank you, and I am sorry being a pain in the arse. :frown:

Reply 6

Claire_Elizabeth

Life is a joke, you've just got to laugh along with it and make the most whilst you're here!
It will be a good night i promise you! Even though i dont know you, if i did id buy you a drink to cheer you up aswell!
You are not a pain in the arse at all, so dont think of yourself like that! seriously! x x

Reply 7

Citation

I thank you again for your replies. :smile:

I feel I still love her, weather this is just a barrier for the pain or misguided emotions, but as much as I'd like to (in the unlikely situation) just open my arms again and have her in them, she's hurt me to much. The way she told me over the net says to me she has no respect for me, or the time we had spent together. It could be open to interpretation, but if she knew me as much as I thought she did, she would of known I would of respected her so much more, and dealt with this easier if she had told me to my face.

Valentines day? It's going to be difficult, doesn't help that I'm working that day. Lol, only another day in the week though.

Thank you again for your advice. It means alot to me.

All the best.

Reply 8

pumpkin7

lifes a bitch. loves a bitch. people are bitches.

it's all good fun.

read the pm mate.xx

Reply 9

chan89

I recognise your username...I think I chatted to you before about a topic like this.

I don't really have any advice to offer but if you need someone to talk to who's been in pretty much exactly the same situation then feel free to PM me. :smile: