Feeling isolated

This is weird, I was so used to being 16 and 17 and having the world at my feet, going parties every week and having the most eventful times of my life. Now im 18, and my friends I formed friendships outside of school, well - They're kinda moving on. I was close with them, some very close, but nevertheless time changes and people change. I'm not sure, essentially the people are still 'there' but not 'there' as I know them. While I was going through school and learning new skills I found it increasingly tiring to go out and meet at my local hangout. my local hangout is basically now either full of idiots who want to be 'bad' who want a reputation for being druggies and pricks or either they're too fashion-cliche obsessed. Things were never like this, my ex-best friend has moved on to over more exciting people with 'hectic' lifestyles and often goes on raves. I go to some of these raves and love it, but none-the-less even though there is a chance with pills to get some social empathy and a good night I know thats merely the drugs and I'm pretty much invisible to people in their lives. Yeah these people do like me for real, just I don't ever get beyond 'casual friend'.

I don't want to play 'catchup'. I don't go out often maybe out of laziness but also because I'm tired of seeing vibrant fresh personalities fade away, I have a handful of close friends but not any of them are the 'social' kind who do anything (more of the stay at home and don't do much) kind. Well some of them do football and some go to weekly gathering place, and I feel like a right spack asking the person to come along to the gathering - the person probably thinks im 'pretentious' because I often go to great parties and what not. I think he has me wrong and is judging me by my 'ex friends' because while I used to be popular I no longer wanted that when I matured at 17. Im just a geek at heart :frown:

but I like being one.

I might get close to a friend for like maybe 3 months or so then I gradually obscure and dissapear, I guess this is what you expect from alternative-hedonistic lifestyles.

I just want some decent mates to maybe go to a pub or just attend some kind of weekly gathering, I know it sounds really desperate but I really want to persuade this guy that 'Ok, you may have some ideas about me and thats totally understandable, but im sure if you invited me along i will show you im actually a nice guy - i really don't care about being cool'

I sound so needy, I usually am not but its shattering when you're perceived as social but you have very few 'real' mates :frown:

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