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Cancer...

My nan was diagnosed with lung cancer over the weekend. The doctors can't give her any treatments because she's too weak. She went into hospital 2 weeks ago for breathing problems. They diagnosed a heart murmur, and are giving her drinks to try and get her weight up [When my grandad dies about 10, 11 years ago my nan stopped eating much, her weight plummeted to about 5 or 6 stone]. Last week they tested some fluid that had gathered at the top of her back, and said it wasn't cancerous. What they didn't tell us was there was fluid around her lungs, stuff that shouldn't be there. They tested that late last week, and told us on Saturday that she had lung cancer. So bummer that she had cancer, double bummer that we thought she was clear. :frown:

If she gets strong enough to leave hospital we're gonna transform the bottom half of our house into a flat for her, so she can live with us for a while. I'm feeling a bit guilty because I've hardly seen her over the past 2 years or so, since I moved house. I wish I'd spent more time with her when I had the chance, before Id moved away from her. I know she isn't dead yet, and I don't know how long she has to live. :frown:

Has anyone got any experiences of cancer, lung cancer in particular?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

really sorry to hear that.

i dont have experience about lung cancer but i found out at the end of last year that my uncle had terminal cancer. the worst thing was due to a family argument i hadnt seen him for about 6 years so there was a lot of wasted time. i see him now about twice a month because he doesnt live too close.

dont feel guilty, just spend as much time as possible with your nan and appreciate every moment fully.
:hugs:

Reply 2

wackysparkle

i don't have any experience with cancer - but i just wanted to offer my sympathy for you - and

don't blame yourself for not having spent enought time with her - make the most of it now - she will be right there with you all time now - if i know grandparents they always know that their grandchildren love them no matter what, and vice versa, i know when my grandad died, i felt that i hadn't spent enough time with him as i only got to see him once a year - and i gradually didn't know what to talk to him about when i saw him as i grew up [stories and such had soon become non-existent] , i felt horrible, like i didn't do enough -- but my grandmother told me about how he used to talk about me and my sis everyday, he would keep our little baby clothes just as a reminder, and he kept every single letter with him right next to him, and in the cupboard next to his bed he kept all the little gifts that i gave him as a child [a little torch, and a book] as well as the notes that i stuck onto the gifts,-- they were still stuck there - sometimes retaped so that they stay there

see, grandparents love you no matter what, but just show her how much you appreciate her - talk to her - bring her a book - a snack -- just spend time with her -- as they love that more than anything -- just to see you

Reply 3

James

My great uncle died of cancer last year, and it's really terrible. I didn't even know him that well, but it still felt really bad knowing that he's gone. It really affected a lot of people in my family, especially those who were close to him, and it came shortly after my granddad and great grandmother died, so it was particularly hard for some.

The best advice I can give is to try to stay cheerful and positive. Some people do recover from cancer, and however improbable that may seem don't lose hope. Comfort anyone who is particularly upset, and don't feel you can't talk about it - it may seem like an awkward subject but you'll probably feel much better if you talk to your friends/family.

Finally: :hugs:

Reply 4

Flank Runner

i'm sorry to hear that, i had the same experience, grandma, went into hospital for 3 days, tested, all clear, becomes ill again, tested, cancer, it was hard, near the end she didnt even recognise my dad (her son), make the most of the time you have and be there for your family, your not alone in this, i wish you all the best and hope that somehow in someway things get better for you and your grandma

Reply 5

Sephrenia

Thanks for the hugs and sympathy people. :hugs:

I'm trying to stay positive, but at times it just feels so hopeless. I mean its only been 2 days, but my parents aren't exactly positive about it, they know how badly nans been treating her body, started smoking when she was 14, stopped eating properly 10 years ago, so shes just starved and smoked herself to death. In a way I think shes just given up life, and doesn't see the point in it anymore...

:hugs:

Reply 6

wackysparkle

well why don't you change her mind then -- be with her :smile:

your parents haven't just given up - i think its more like they want a reason for why this has happened and so they are blaming it on the smoking and not eating --- they just want a reason - anything

Reply 7

username43584

I least you have time to spend with her and to tell her anything you want to tell her. Some people don't get that opportunity. Make the most of it - I sure regret being denied the opportunity to do that.

Reply 8

RetiredAccount89

yeh, my gran died of lung cancer.

Reply 9

gagol

My nan lived with us all my life pretty much, she was diognosed with lung cancer when I was 15. She was taken into hospital and unfortunatly she never came out. She had developed Dimentia due to a lack of oxygen to the brain due to the fluid on her lungs. Being told she had lung cancer was terrible but that meant I had time to get used to the idea she was going to die. In the end when she did die it was not quite as bad as I thought. Im not saying it wasnt sad and wasnt hard but shes in a better place now and is not suffering any more. You can make up for lost time with your nan now, Just take time to be with her, tell her you love her...

Reply 10

Sazarina88

My Dad died in 2005 as a result of a lymphoma. I felt bad as I'd been the typical stroppy teenager at times, giving him a hard time with my mood swings. You can't beat yourself up about things like that though. What's important is to let your nan know that you care about her; tell her how you feel. You'll feel even worse if she passes away without knowing that you love her.

Also, don't give up hope. My Dad was given 6 weeks to live in November 2001 and he fought that cancer. He was in remission for a few years but, unfortunately, the cancer came back. He defied the doctors and their opinions/medical views and it's possible that your nan might be around for longer than expected. Yes, her body isn't likely to be in a tip-top state, but with love and support, she might be around for that little bit longer.

Make the most of the time you have left together but don't let it rule your life. I'm sure she'd want you to carry on with the other things you do too.

PM me if you'd like to talk anytime xx

Reply 11

Angelil

Both of my grandads died of lung cancer. One of them gave up smoking in 87 after being diagnosed with diabetes; the other one gave up smoking in the early-mid 90s. Not soon enough as it still killed them both, and what the cancer puts their bodies through is horrifying :frown:

Luckily they didn't lose their minds with it...that would have broken my Papa's heart in particular as he was hugely intelligent and loved using his mind. All you can do is all support one another, spend as much time together as possible and don't have any regrets. :hugs:

Reply 12

Sephrenia

Thanks for the hugs and support people. :hugs:

It means a lot to me :hugs:

Adn thank you for sharing your stories, it makes me feel a little bit less alone. :hugs:

Reply 13

abc137

My Nanny got rushed into hospital last week and had to have an emergancy operation and she might have cervical cancer :frown:

she finds out in about six weeks :frown:

i really hope she doesn't have it! But she doesn't get on with my mum they haven't talked in years and my grandad just got back from holiday on Saturday so i've been looking after her all week and visiting her, doing her shopping etc. I'm really grateful that my boyfriend has been driving me and her around to help her :hugs:

I love my nanny :frown:

i REALLY hope she doesn't have it! So not actually an experience of cancer, yet, but maybe, though hopefully not! Don't feel bad about it just make up for lost time and she will really appreciate it i bet :smile:

PM me if you want to chat x

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