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Running away..... Where can I go??
My dad and I have never got on. He's always saying how he doesn't want me to live at home anymore, splitting me and my mum up and turning the smallest things into HUGE arguments. I'm generally a very chilled and happy person so I've always been able to just ignore him but today was just RIDICULOUS!! 
I got home from school in a fantastic mood... only to find my room completley changed around and all my personal belongings in black bags!
Apparently the reason for this is my room was messy?! As much as I tried to ignore them both saying some really horrible things to me about not being able to get a boyfriend and how much more proud they are of my brother than me, the final straw came when they told me they went through all my stuff including my diary! There was so many things in there that I didn't want them to know anything about and I can't explain how upset I am. I feel like I just can't do anything to resolve this or move on when I know what they have read... It will be too awkward. I love my mum lots and lots but I can't see her again.
Anyway I've decided that I HAVE to leave asap, can anyone advise me on what sort of place I can go to?? I'm in my final year of a levels so can't afford accommodation and the rest of my family live too far away...
I got home from school in a fantastic mood... only to find my room completley changed around and all my personal belongings in black bags!
Apparently the reason for this is my room was messy?! As much as I tried to ignore them both saying some really horrible things to me about not being able to get a boyfriend and how much more proud they are of my brother than me, the final straw came when they told me they went through all my stuff including my diary! There was so many things in there that I didn't want them to know anything about and I can't explain how upset I am. I feel like I just can't do anything to resolve this or move on when I know what they have read... It will be too awkward. I love my mum lots and lots but I can't see her again.
Anyway I've decided that I HAVE to leave asap, can anyone advise me on what sort of place I can go to?? I'm in my final year of a levels so can't afford accommodation and the rest of my family live too far away...
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Reply 1
im really sorry to hear this 
really tough when something like this happens.
i would say dont run away, its much better to have a roof over your head. however in the long term if it really is that terrible cant you live with another family member? a grandmother, aunt, uncle? or possibly with a friend for a while?
i hope everything gets better xxx
really tough when something like this happens. i would say dont run away, its much better to have a roof over your head. however in the long term if it really is that terrible cant you live with another family member? a grandmother, aunt, uncle? or possibly with a friend for a while?
i hope everything gets better xxx
Reply 2
Don't run away-see if you can live with another member of your family. Or dont throw away your A Levels, get through them and go from there. Im sorry to hear your situation.
Reply 3
Sorry that these are all scattered ideas but I'll help you research them if you want.
Do you have any friends with spare rooms?
Does your school have any sort of house (my school has one for foreign teachers) or can you talk to them and see if they can put you up (assuming you are over 18).
You can put you name down on council housing from the age of 16 as well.
Have you got any job or income coming in? Ema? any child benefit you get, you need to make sure goes straight to you- talk to the authorities.
Someone you know might have a spare room that they want to let out -and under a certain amount of rent a year is non-tax deductible so they benefit as well.
As to your personal possessions, go to one of the storage company and keep all of your sentimental and non neccessay for schoolwork and day-to-day items there. Sort out your stuff - get rid of stuff you don't need, be brutal and declutter, so if you do move out you have less stuff and if you go to a storage company - less space needed to store (and also to pay for)
Keep a diary on the internet.
Stay for a little bit to make plans and make sure you have a secure place for while you osrt it out.
Talk to those at school (another reason to wait until the end of half term).
Do you have a part-time job or work experience?
Do you have any friends with spare rooms?
Does your school have any sort of house (my school has one for foreign teachers) or can you talk to them and see if they can put you up (assuming you are over 18).
You can put you name down on council housing from the age of 16 as well.
Have you got any job or income coming in? Ema? any child benefit you get, you need to make sure goes straight to you- talk to the authorities.
Someone you know might have a spare room that they want to let out -and under a certain amount of rent a year is non-tax deductible so they benefit as well.
As to your personal possessions, go to one of the storage company and keep all of your sentimental and non neccessay for schoolwork and day-to-day items there. Sort out your stuff - get rid of stuff you don't need, be brutal and declutter, so if you do move out you have less stuff and if you go to a storage company - less space needed to store (and also to pay for)
Keep a diary on the internet.
Stay for a little bit to make plans and make sure you have a secure place for while you osrt it out.
Talk to those at school (another reason to wait until the end of half term).
Do you have a part-time job or work experience?
Reply 4
I agree with the Anon #2. I know I'm certainly not in your position, but I think that as you have exams first its not to time to add this too.
It's great advice to see if you can live with a family member or a friend, it'll get you to concentrate on whats important.
Good luck.
It's great advice to see if you can live with a family member or a friend, it'll get you to concentrate on whats important.
Good luck.
Reply 5
Owch, I know the feeling, I've been kicked out a couple of times and walked out a few more, and it sucks not knowing where to go.
Friends house an option? Just for a couple of days to get you some space? Not always the best option but even for a night it can help.
Other than that I really have no idea. Are you going to Uni? I know thats the one thing that's kept me hanging on, guarenteed date of moving out. It sounds horrible
If you really have to get out, do so, go to a friend/relative/anywhere/even sitting in a 24hour cafe for 5 hours (yes it's been known) can give you some space and time to consider your options.
Best of luck
x
Friends house an option? Just for a couple of days to get you some space? Not always the best option but even for a night it can help.
Other than that I really have no idea. Are you going to Uni? I know thats the one thing that's kept me hanging on, guarenteed date of moving out. It sounds horrible
If you really have to get out, do so, go to a friend/relative/anywhere/even sitting in a 24hour cafe for 5 hours (yes it's been known) can give you some space and time to consider your options.
Best of luck
x
Reply 7
If you really need to get out the situation wait a till tomorrow and talk to some out at school/college(teacher or somethink) they will be able to help, ask connections most likely it will be hostel
dont run away. Its worse out there, yeah if ur friends are friends they would keep u forever, however at the end of the day they will get fed up and u will result in more suffering.
talk to someone about ur situation but dont run away the world is cold, very cold and its not easy getting an accomodation unless your a millionnaire esp when your young and a full time student.
finish your studies, if you can get a decent part time job perhaps move to uni campus or something but think wisely, dont rush you will only suffer more.
talk to someone about ur situation but dont run away the world is cold, very cold and its not easy getting an accomodation unless your a millionnaire esp when your young and a full time student.
finish your studies, if you can get a decent part time job perhaps move to uni campus or something but think wisely, dont rush you will only suffer more.
Reply 11
I'm not sure if some of the people in the thread know how horrible having to stay in a house where you've been told you're not wanted really is. I'm not going all 'Oh you don't know *sob*' on anyone at all - I know tons of people have been in this situation and made it through, and I would advocate staying as long as it's possible. But it might be that the OP needs a couple of days or a week out of the house to let things cool down, or it could really be that moving out would be the best option. What if having to live in that environment is having a negative effect on their studies? What if, staying with a grandparent or something, they could salvage their relationship with their parents and get the grades they deserve, as opposed to staying at home and being unable to study because they're unwanted - ruining the relationship with their parents and doing badly in their exams?
I'm not saying that moving out is without doubt the best plan for the OP, I'm just saying that the people saying 'stay at home until they physically force you to leave' might not be in the right.
I'm not saying that moving out is without doubt the best plan for the OP, I'm just saying that the people saying 'stay at home until they physically force you to leave' might not be in the right.
Reply 12
Is this for real? Sounds as a horrible nightmare. Family members and friends is where you have to go. DO NOT simply run away with no destination, you will have no future if you do so, and will have to come back ashamed later on.
Anonymous
I'm not sure if some of the people in the thread know how horrible having to stay in a house where you've been told you're not wanted really is. I'm not going all 'Oh you don't know *sob*' on anyone at all - I know tons of people have been in this situation and made it through, and I would advocate staying as long as it's possible.
I'm not saying that moving out is without doubt the best plan for the OP, I'm just saying that the people saying 'stay at home until they physically force you to leave' might not be in the right.
I'm not saying that moving out is without doubt the best plan for the OP, I'm just saying that the people saying 'stay at home until they physically force you to leave' might not be in the right.
I stayed at home from 13 to 16 with a stepfather who put the fear of God in me which is three years. I know exactly how hard it is. There was physical force, just not to get me out. When you're sat against your chest of drawers which is pushed against your bedroom door listening to someone scream through it and smack the door you think i wanna pack, run away and never come back but I stuck through it to get GCSE's and reach 16 where i wouldn't be forced into care if I left.
C00kies
Do you have any friends with spare rooms?
Does your school have any sort of house (my school has one for foreign teachers) or can you talk to them and see if they can put you up (assuming you are over 18).
You can put you name down on council housing from the age of 16 as well.
Have you got any job or income coming in? Ema? any child benefit you get, you need to make sure goes straight to you- talk to the authorities.
Does your school have any sort of house (my school has one for foreign teachers) or can you talk to them and see if they can put you up (assuming you are over 18).
You can put you name down on council housing from the age of 16 as well.
Have you got any job or income coming in? Ema? any child benefit you get, you need to make sure goes straight to you- talk to the authorities.
Not many schools has accommodation for students it's only universities, they have emergency finance but it's HARD to persuade them to fund you to leave home. 'You need to be covered in bruises or pregnant' was what they told my friend whose mum is a fruit loop (bit like your parents-no offence).
You can't get a council house unless you have been evicted by your parents or again, are pregnant. It's bloody difficult to get benefits without being physically evicted (if you are you qualify for income support and housing benefit).
EMA is a godsend and if you qualify for the full amount most colleges can support you with a small amount of emergency funds (my college allows 300 for each full qualified student).
Child benefit will come to you which is good, my mum still gets benefits for me (my finances are v. complicated) and it comes to £135 a month which she direct debits me. I'm not sure how you set it up to come to you yourself but it's possible.
If you are under 18 TECHNICALLY you may not leave. Obviously you can but legally you need your parent's consent. However they will rarely ever take you back (my mate ran away and they found her, checked she was safe, offered her a place in care and left her where she was). Might be good to try and get your parents on your side.
I spose you could speak to social services about going into care but I don't know how it works for over 16s entering care for the first time or what the guidelines.
Personally I'd say hold out before you make any choices two weeks. If you still want to leave start making plans now for an escape directly after you finish college. Work and college is SO hard and it's much easier when you don't have to cope with all your own money. Also once you finish college you can work to pay your way and if you want to stopgap til uni possibly go into your overdraft to fund moving til your first pay cheque.
Hope it goes ok. Sorry for the long post leaving home is like my specialist subject (come on mastermind!)
Reply 14
Stay with a close friend. It's what I would do in your situation.
Reply 15
ro-ro
I stayed at home from 13 to 16 with a stepfather who put the fear of God in me which is three years. I know exactly how hard it is. There was physical force, just not to get me out. When you're sat against your chest of drawers which is pushed against your bedroom door listening to someone scream through it and smack the door you think i wanna pack, run away and never come back but I stuck through it to get GCSE's and reach 16 where i wouldn't be forced into care if I left.
I'm sorry if I came off as patronising, I didn't mean to.
Reply 16
Anonymous
Anyway I've decided that I HAVE to leave asap, can anyone advise me on what sort of place I can go to??
Anyway I've decided that I HAVE to leave asap, can anyone advise me on what sort of place I can go to??
find a womans shelter for the night
there are usually professional counsellers and support groups operating in these types of shelters.
hopefully within a few days you will be able to stay with a friend... or perhaps back at home?
you sound like a happy and cheerful person, which just concludes your character even through your hardships - so i wish you all the best
Reply 17
didn't read through every post -but still answering
don't run away - it doesn't solve anything - just makes thing worse -- how will you fend for yourself? do you have a substantial amount of money? how will you educate yourself + feed yourself??
either:
1) talk to your parents one-on-one --- discuss how this deeply hurt you
2) stay with another close relative + tell your parents where you are going
never go out without someone knowing where you are -- no matter how mad you are ---
don't run away - it doesn't solve anything - just makes thing worse -- how will you fend for yourself? do you have a substantial amount of money? how will you educate yourself + feed yourself??
either:
1) talk to your parents one-on-one --- discuss how this deeply hurt you
2) stay with another close relative + tell your parents where you are going
never go out without someone knowing where you are -- no matter how mad you are ---
I don't want to sound rude but women's shelters are underfunded and overused so really unless you are in extreme danger it might be a good idea to crash it out and sort stuff out the next day.
Anonymous you did sound a bit patronising but it actually made me smile because I'd have said exactly the same thing. I sometimes say stuff like that on here because most of the people I know outside TSR are rich daddy's girls, I seem to just attract them! I might have come across as more offended then I actually am. I'm pretty blunt and forthcoming about my life experiences but I don't feel extreme pain concerning them, if I do I don't bring them up.
Wangers is so right, being over 16 and under 18 sucks when you wanna run away.
Anonymous you did sound a bit patronising but it actually made me smile because I'd have said exactly the same thing. I sometimes say stuff like that on here because most of the people I know outside TSR are rich daddy's girls, I seem to just attract them! I might have come across as more offended then I actually am. I'm pretty blunt and forthcoming about my life experiences but I don't feel extreme pain concerning them, if I do I don't bring them up.
Wangers is so right, being over 16 and under 18 sucks when you wanna run away.
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