i feel sorry for u, and i would say i was in a near position near u, but i had hatred towards my family and it really made me upset, like everything i believed in i didnt believe in any more. i felt that no1 liked me anymore by their reactions and well i tell ya this is where ur true friends come in, either they'll be by ur side or not, and thanx to them im still here.
the first obvious thing i would say is dont think about suicide or anything negative, u need to get some positivity from somewhere, i dunno where, maybe doing something u love doing or something u havent achieved but wanna achieve.
second, u need to stop encouraging urself towards drinking. it will only make u more depressed. and really it will be hard and painful to tell ur parents about everything but it has to be done, and secrets come out at the end, and what im trying to say, ur family bought u into this world and will they r always there to help u, and u need all the help u need right now from ur friends and family, especially ur family, it will be hard to tell them without them getting angry but u need the help.
and i no when theres no positivity in my life, there are plenty more ppl out there that feel the same, i have helped many ppl from depression to break ups and so on and forth, but u have to put it in other ppls eyes, if u had those painkillers how would ur parents feel, y wuld they think u did it, wat about ur nephews. cos i no they wont be happy, u have to decide wat u want to do in the future and u have to live upto the expectations of urself if u want positivity, i mean my aim at the mo is to go to uni and at the mo im happy cos im achieveing that task, i think u'll have a great positivity if u have tasks u wanna live up to and try to achieve them.
if u dont wanna tell ur parents then at least tell ur friends, so they can get a idea of wats going on so they can try and help...its the only way u can try and feel a little better.