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Should I have myself committed?
Hi there,
I suffer from depression, constant yo-yo to the doctors and recently been re-referred back to a physiatrist, after I abandoned the treatment I had the last time. The last year or so, well I was doing okay for a while but after starting a new college, had pneumonia it just made my depression trigger off again I suppose. Not that I never had it because I did, I just felt much worse and had to re-assess my need for treatment.
I have missed a lot of college, I took an overdose a few weeks ago and nobody but medical staff know. I kept it hidden from my family, as they weren’t expecting me home the night I was in hospital getting treated. I didn’t and don’t want to confide in them.
At the moment I am so stressed, I just feel down and although my appointment has been brought forward, it’s still not till next week. I am extremely stressed, have severe financial difficulties at present and also waiting results from my local GU clinic – I should be okay, but have had a lot of unprotected sex, I don’t value myself and therefore of course I am worried about the possibility that I may have contracted something.
I am sitting in my room tonight, I have drank a few tia-marias. I am quite emotional; I see no positives in my life. Well, I do value my family to the extent that I love my three nephews to bits, they are what keeps me going. Although, it is becoming harder and I sit here, I have painkillers by my side and I don’t see where my life is going.
I can’t tell my family about my debt, although it is crippling me. My dad seems to care more about his credit rating, that me. I can’t confide in my parents and don’t want tp run the risk of talking my brothers or sisters for dear they will confide in my parents.
I just don’t know what to do now. I keep crying, I really want those painkillers, I keep drinking, I’m all over the place – should I just bite the bullet? Should I try and admit myself into the local mental hospital. I don’t even know how that would work. Any advice would be appreciated; I just feel so down just now and don’t know what to do.
Thanks.
I suffer from depression, constant yo-yo to the doctors and recently been re-referred back to a physiatrist, after I abandoned the treatment I had the last time. The last year or so, well I was doing okay for a while but after starting a new college, had pneumonia it just made my depression trigger off again I suppose. Not that I never had it because I did, I just felt much worse and had to re-assess my need for treatment.
I have missed a lot of college, I took an overdose a few weeks ago and nobody but medical staff know. I kept it hidden from my family, as they weren’t expecting me home the night I was in hospital getting treated. I didn’t and don’t want to confide in them.
At the moment I am so stressed, I just feel down and although my appointment has been brought forward, it’s still not till next week. I am extremely stressed, have severe financial difficulties at present and also waiting results from my local GU clinic – I should be okay, but have had a lot of unprotected sex, I don’t value myself and therefore of course I am worried about the possibility that I may have contracted something.
I am sitting in my room tonight, I have drank a few tia-marias. I am quite emotional; I see no positives in my life. Well, I do value my family to the extent that I love my three nephews to bits, they are what keeps me going. Although, it is becoming harder and I sit here, I have painkillers by my side and I don’t see where my life is going.
I can’t tell my family about my debt, although it is crippling me. My dad seems to care more about his credit rating, that me. I can’t confide in my parents and don’t want tp run the risk of talking my brothers or sisters for dear they will confide in my parents.
I just don’t know what to do now. I keep crying, I really want those painkillers, I keep drinking, I’m all over the place – should I just bite the bullet? Should I try and admit myself into the local mental hospital. I don’t even know how that would work. Any advice would be appreciated; I just feel so down just now and don’t know what to do.
Thanks.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
i don't want to tell you what to do as i haven't been in your shoes
but all i can say is that i am listening to you
i won't say that i feel your pain and that all you need is a hug and everything will get better - because that isn't something that would make you just recover instantly
everyone has their problems in life - and everyone needs someone to talk to - thats just human behaviour
no matter how much you don't want to talk to your parents - is there anyone else that you can talk to? someone who wouldn't judge you, and will just lend an ear to you? - like a godparent? a friend?
don't feel that all is lost and that you have no one - and never feel that you are not worth anything - i always believe in the fact that if i wasn't worth it i wouldn't be here - clearly someone believes that i have the right to live and walk this planet, and someone believes that there is something that i have to offer the world - and the same applies to every human on this earth
but all i can say is that i am listening to you
i won't say that i feel your pain and that all you need is a hug and everything will get better - because that isn't something that would make you just recover instantly
everyone has their problems in life - and everyone needs someone to talk to - thats just human behaviour
no matter how much you don't want to talk to your parents - is there anyone else that you can talk to? someone who wouldn't judge you, and will just lend an ear to you? - like a godparent? a friend?
don't feel that all is lost and that you have no one - and never feel that you are not worth anything - i always believe in the fact that if i wasn't worth it i wouldn't be here - clearly someone believes that i have the right to live and walk this planet, and someone believes that there is something that i have to offer the world - and the same applies to every human on this earth
Reply 2
You sound bipolar, go to the GP.
If you honestly feel as though you may hurt yourself, then maybe you should go to your local psychiatric team and see someone. Remember though, they can't stop you if that is what you really want to do but they can talk to you and maybe help you in ways you haven't considered. They may be able to admit you for assessment, but that isn't a guarantee and there are other options available.
I hope you begin to feel even slightly better soon. Depression is such a consuming thing that just takes over. I remember feeling similar to how you are feeling now.
Good luck
I hope you begin to feel even slightly better soon. Depression is such a consuming thing that just takes over. I remember feeling similar to how you are feeling now.
Good luck
Reply 4
First of all: There is most definately a positive in view as you have admitted you have a problem and are willing to sort it out (may sound lame but it isn't). You should definately and I mean definately seek help. Going to a mental hospital does not mean you are literally insane, just means you have de-railed a bit, just walk by and ask to see a doctor on duty. A psychologist would normally be recommended by me, as they prove to be very helpful at times but they are very very very costly (shame really) as well and as you are in debt, its not the best option.
Therefore, as you CAN change your current lifestyle (I'm not BS'ing you here) I suggest you get that help you mentioned.
Good luck. You CAN get through this.....I may not know you directly, but I understand your problems and getting 'help' can only 'help' you, no negatives WHAT SO EVER.
Therefore, as you CAN change your current lifestyle (I'm not BS'ing you here) I suggest you get that help you mentioned.
Good luck. You CAN get through this.....I may not know you directly, but I understand your problems and getting 'help' can only 'help' you, no negatives WHAT SO EVER.
Reply 5
I got to my GP on a regular basis, nothing she can do - hence why I have been referred for the third time since I was 16. I stopped going to treatment on the last 2 occasions, and I do know things need to change. I don;t know about bi-polar, as I do have mood swings but they aren't so severe, think I have borderline personality disroder though.
I do have friends, but I just don't want to sit and tell them I am so close to taking all the drugs in sight. I just don't want to put that on them and also I don't want anything to go back to my parents.
I do have friends, but I just don't want to sit and tell them I am so close to taking all the drugs in sight. I just don't want to put that on them and also I don't want anything to go back to my parents.
Reply 6
have you tried contacting an organisation?
coz there are things like "nightline" where you just call up and talk to someone who just listens to you -- anonymously of course
coz there are things like "nightline" where you just call up and talk to someone who just listens to you -- anonymously of course
TheDutchy
A psychologist would normally be recommended by me, as they prove to be very helpful at times but they are very very very costly (shame really) as well and as you are in debt, its not the best option.
Erm...people don't pay to see doctors in the UK unless they pay for private healthcare. The National Health Service provides healthcare (including psychiatric care) free at the point of delivery.
Reply 8
I have the number of helpline, which is run by Dykebar hospital which is the mental hospital in my area, so cose it would take 5 minutes to go there 
I might give them a phone, nothing to lose I suppose and when I see my GP ever week, she always makes sure I have this number and when I spoke to the CPN in hospital 2 weeks ago, she also made sure I had the number
I might give them a phone, nothing to lose I suppose and when I see my GP ever week, she always makes sure I have this number and when I spoke to the CPN in hospital 2 weeks ago, she also made sure I had the number
Reply 9
just call and talk to them - theres no harm in that -- i think if you are able to speak to someone rather than having this all bottled up in you - you feel at least a little better --
Reply 10
Sarky
Erm...people don't pay to see doctors in the UK unless they pay for private healthcare. The National Health Service provides healthcare (including psychiatric care) free at the point of delivery.
Hi, I just PM'ed you about this. I'm not familiar with the UK system, thought it would be the same as here. Thanks for enlightening me
Reply 11
I know, my concern is I find communicating by written expression the best form, talking on the phone etc, I do find difficult - partly the recent I study journalism!
I hink I will give myself half an hour, then give them a phone.
I hink I will give myself half an hour, then give them a phone.
Reply 12
i feel sorry for u, and i would say i was in a near position near u, but i had hatred towards my family and it really made me upset, like everything i believed in i didnt believe in any more. i felt that no1 liked me anymore by their reactions and well i tell ya this is where ur true friends come in, either they'll be by ur side or not, and thanx to them im still here.
the first obvious thing i would say is dont think about suicide or anything negative, u need to get some positivity from somewhere, i dunno where, maybe doing something u love doing or something u havent achieved but wanna achieve.
second, u need to stop encouraging urself towards drinking. it will only make u more depressed. and really it will be hard and painful to tell ur parents about everything but it has to be done, and secrets come out at the end, and what im trying to say, ur family bought u into this world and will they r always there to help u, and u need all the help u need right now from ur friends and family, especially ur family, it will be hard to tell them without them getting angry but u need the help.
and i no when theres no positivity in my life, there are plenty more ppl out there that feel the same, i have helped many ppl from depression to break ups and so on and forth, but u have to put it in other ppls eyes, if u had those painkillers how would ur parents feel, y wuld they think u did it, wat about ur nephews. cos i no they wont be happy, u have to decide wat u want to do in the future and u have to live upto the expectations of urself if u want positivity, i mean my aim at the mo is to go to uni and at the mo im happy cos im achieveing that task, i think u'll have a great positivity if u have tasks u wanna live up to and try to achieve them.
if u dont wanna tell ur parents then at least tell ur friends, so they can get a idea of wats going on so they can try and help...its the only way u can try and feel a little better.
the first obvious thing i would say is dont think about suicide or anything negative, u need to get some positivity from somewhere, i dunno where, maybe doing something u love doing or something u havent achieved but wanna achieve.
second, u need to stop encouraging urself towards drinking. it will only make u more depressed. and really it will be hard and painful to tell ur parents about everything but it has to be done, and secrets come out at the end, and what im trying to say, ur family bought u into this world and will they r always there to help u, and u need all the help u need right now from ur friends and family, especially ur family, it will be hard to tell them without them getting angry but u need the help.
and i no when theres no positivity in my life, there are plenty more ppl out there that feel the same, i have helped many ppl from depression to break ups and so on and forth, but u have to put it in other ppls eyes, if u had those painkillers how would ur parents feel, y wuld they think u did it, wat about ur nephews. cos i no they wont be happy, u have to decide wat u want to do in the future and u have to live upto the expectations of urself if u want positivity, i mean my aim at the mo is to go to uni and at the mo im happy cos im achieveing that task, i think u'll have a great positivity if u have tasks u wanna live up to and try to achieve them.
if u dont wanna tell ur parents then at least tell ur friends, so they can get a idea of wats going on so they can try and help...its the only way u can try and feel a little better.
Reply 13
TheDutchy
Hi, I just PM'ed you about this. I'm not familiar with the UK system, thought it would be the same as here. Thanks for enlightening me
The UK adopts a welfare state system, which basically means that people pay tax on wages etc and pay national insurance, which pays the costs to run the national health service. If someone desires to go private they can, but if not, everything if available on the NHS and my current appointments etc, are covered by that.
Reply 14
its always hard to talk to someone about something that is very personal to you -- once you start talking it may seem awkward at first - but soon you will adjust and be able to talk freely
only call when you are ready
good luck
only call when you are ready
good luck
Reply 15
jones001
i feel sorry for u, and i would say i was in a near position near u, but i had hatred towards my family and it really made me upset, like everything i believed in i didnt believe in any more. i felt that no1 liked me anymore by their reactions and well i tell ya this is where ur true friends come in, either they'll be by ur side or not, and thanx to them im still here.
the first obvious thing i would say is dont think about suicide or anything negative, u need to get some positivity from somewhere, i dunno where, maybe doing something u love doing or something u havent achieved but wanna achieve.
second, u need to stop encouraging urself towards drinking. it will only make u more depressed. and really it will be hard and painful to tell ur parents about everything but it has to be done, and secrets come out at the end, and what im trying to say, ur family bought u into this world and will they r always there to help u, and u need all the help u need right now from ur friends and family, especially ur family, it will be hard to tell them without them getting angry but u need the help.
and i no when theres no positivity in my life, there are plenty more ppl out there that feel the same, i have helped many ppl from depression to break ups and so on and forth, but u have to put it in other ppls eyes, if u had those painkillers how would ur parents feel, y wuld they think u did it, wat about ur nephews. cos i no they wont be happy, u have to decide wat u want to do in the future and u have to live upto the expectations of urself if u want positivity, i mean my aim at the mo is to go to uni and at the mo im happy cos im achieveing that task, i think u'll have a great positivity if u have tasks u wanna live up to and try to achieve them.
if u dont wanna tell ur parents then at least tell ur friends, so they can get a idea of wats going on so they can try and help...its the only way u can try and feel a little better.
the first obvious thing i would say is dont think about suicide or anything negative, u need to get some positivity from somewhere, i dunno where, maybe doing something u love doing or something u havent achieved but wanna achieve.
second, u need to stop encouraging urself towards drinking. it will only make u more depressed. and really it will be hard and painful to tell ur parents about everything but it has to be done, and secrets come out at the end, and what im trying to say, ur family bought u into this world and will they r always there to help u, and u need all the help u need right now from ur friends and family, especially ur family, it will be hard to tell them without them getting angry but u need the help.
and i no when theres no positivity in my life, there are plenty more ppl out there that feel the same, i have helped many ppl from depression to break ups and so on and forth, but u have to put it in other ppls eyes, if u had those painkillers how would ur parents feel, y wuld they think u did it, wat about ur nephews. cos i no they wont be happy, u have to decide wat u want to do in the future and u have to live upto the expectations of urself if u want positivity, i mean my aim at the mo is to go to uni and at the mo im happy cos im achieveing that task, i think u'll have a great positivity if u have tasks u wanna live up to and try to achieve them.
if u dont wanna tell ur parents then at least tell ur friends, so they can get a idea of wats going on so they can try and help...its the only way u can try and feel a little better.
I want to go back to Uni as well, I am doing an HND in journalism at the moment and on completion, I have unconditionals to 3rd year journalism degree courses. I am quite intelligent but never ever use my intelligence, struggled whilst doing my higher due to depression, went to uni and had to drop out due to depression and now I am suffering within my HND to depression, and I do know that if I manage to knuckle down then I will go to uni, but it's just hard to focus, when you feel so down. I just can't motivate myself.
Reply 16
please dont give up. things will get better! it's just a rough patch that you WILL get through. things arent as bad as u think. You still have ur family, use them to help u. You need love. Confide in them, nothing is more important than this.
Reply 17
holls, if you have msn - you can pm me and ask for it
if you want someone to talk to (its midday here in australia) ill be online for a few more hours and if you need to keep contact with someone... i may be able to help - atleast someone to talk.
It might help.
if you want someone to talk to (its midday here in australia) ill be online for a few more hours and if you need to keep contact with someone... i may be able to help - atleast someone to talk.
It might help.
Reply 18
Hollz
The UK adopts a welfare state system, which basically means that people pay tax on wages etc and pay national insurance, which pays the costs to run the national health service. If someone desires to go private they can, but if not, everything if available on the NHS and my current appointments etc, are covered by that.
Ah! Got it! Well, hope I at least gave some good advice
Thanks for clearing that up though, wasn't aware it was different than the Netherlands for instance, learn something new everyday
Anyway, back to you
Reply 19
i no i could say i was bright as a smart monkey but now im just a smart looking but dumb elephant, hehe, anyways the good thing is that u got a goal in life, and that even if ur feeling down ur gonna at least try ur best to achieve it....just like football, u need a goal to win a cup, it all depends on u, u either score and succeed or miss and let urself and others down...well thats how i c it, and it works for me.....yeh thats the same for me, i dunno wat motivates me, if i knew the answer to it i would tell u though...god i feel useless now
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