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Should I?
Recently I've found myself getting closer to a girl in my halls, but I'm unsure of whether I want our friendship to develop into anything more. I really enjoy hanging out with her, but I'm unsure of whether I want anything more from her than friendship.
I've spoken to friends, and some of them are just suggesting I make a move, and just ejoy whatever comes out of it, but I'm not sure
I guess what I'm really asking is, if you're not 100% certain that you want a relationship with someone, should you ever pursue one with them?
I've spoken to friends, and some of them are just suggesting I make a move, and just ejoy whatever comes out of it, but I'm not sure
I guess what I'm really asking is, if you're not 100% certain that you want a relationship with someone, should you ever pursue one with them?Reply 1
do you value the friendship as the way it is - without change
-- or do you want to go to the next level?
-- or do you want to go to the next level?
Reply 2
if ur not sure, dont pursue it. Wait till the situation arises where u have to tackle the issue and worry about it then. In the mean time just enjoy each others company.
Reply 3
I really enjoy what we have at present, but I can't stop thinking about whether it would be better if we were to take it to the next level. I've never been keen on change, and I'd hate to ruin what we have at the present.
Reply 4
so wait a little - don't do it now -- enjoy what you have - and wait to see if she is also hinting towards a change -
don't get pressurised by what your friends are saying
don't get pressurised by what your friends are saying
Reply 5
If you're happy with your friendship with her the way it is then keep it that way. Just because you're close to a girl doesn't mean you have to start a relationship with her.
Reply 6
it would probably hurt more if you just be friends and she starts seeing someone else. i would suggest see where it goes and enjoy it, and if it doesnt work out perhaps there will still be a friendship at the end of it ?
Reply 7
Don't do anything till you're sure, as you may lose what you already have... and that may make things awkward, being in the same halls and all...
Reply 8
well, it depends on if you want a good friend or a girlfriend, I guess...
Reply 9
I am facing the same thign as you, and I have been thinking if I shoudl give our friendship a push or not, but as a female, I kind of in a more difficult position to do it, I guess... or I am really shy when it comes to relationships... the reason that I am doubting is because I dun wanna end up losing this very good friend, when might be a chance that would happen...
Reply 10
Yeah go for it. Think about it this way, if they also want to take it to the next level then great! no problems there.
If they don't and only see you as a good friend then your current friendship is on seriously uneven ground - you fancy them but they see you as just a 'nice guy/gal', and when they end up getting a partner that isn't you it will suck big time.
I was in this situation before and I ended up asking her out, she said no and our friendship nearly collapsed and is much weaker than it used to be. Yes it sucks and yes it hurts but I don't have any regrets, because before I was just living a charade and pretending to be just a friend when I was really falling for her (and still am, that's the worst bit). It also put some perspective on my life and that I was focusing far too much on one thing only.
It's all about risk in the end, do you like them enough to jeapordise your friendship with them for a shot at something greater?
If they don't and only see you as a good friend then your current friendship is on seriously uneven ground - you fancy them but they see you as just a 'nice guy/gal', and when they end up getting a partner that isn't you it will suck big time.
I was in this situation before and I ended up asking her out, she said no and our friendship nearly collapsed and is much weaker than it used to be. Yes it sucks and yes it hurts but I don't have any regrets, because before I was just living a charade and pretending to be just a friend when I was really falling for her (and still am, that's the worst bit). It also put some perspective on my life and that I was focusing far too much on one thing only.
It's all about risk in the end, do you like them enough to jeapordise your friendship with them for a shot at something greater?
Reply 12
Thought I'd just post an update, on the off chance anyone was interested.
In the end I discovered that she was interested in another guy (Beyond the point of toying with me), and just saw me as a "guy friend" (Admittedly a position I end up in fartoo often). Thanks for the advice guys, alhough it didn't work out the way I really wanted, at least it didn't blo up in my face.
In the end I discovered that she was interested in another guy (Beyond the point of toying with me), and just saw me as a "guy friend" (Admittedly a position I end up in fartoo often
). Thanks for the advice guys, alhough it didn't work out the way I really wanted, at least it didn't blo up in my face.Related discussions
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