I don't want to risk hurting her.

OK so basically i've known this girl for a few months and I know she really likes me.

The problem is that while I think that she's cute, I don't particularly fancy her. Also, we have some real differences like i get grouped as "24/7 smart/casual type" and she is the "emo rocker".

Anyway since i've known her i've had another "relationship", which she obvioulsy wasn't happy about but now we're back to both being single.

I know she REALLY likes me and has done/said certain things many times.
I know she's a great girl but should I give her a chance when I don't really fancy her? Would to not give her even a chance just make me to be vain, plastic & shallow person?

Can a relationship work when one person likes the other so much more?
I really don't want to hurt her as she is a good person.
Is this a doomed relationship and would me going out with her just give her some kind of false hope?

Also, I see her practicly everyday so if things don't work it could get uncomfortable. Argh i'm so 50/50 about asking her out, i dont want to screw her around...what should i do?

Reply 1

Fred Basset

I think it'd be kindest just to tell her out right, stop her wondering about it. Let her down gently though - don't do it in front of other people or anything. I think not making her things clear is ultimately more painful for her, as then she won't move on. You sound like a great person to consider her feelings and worry about hurting her :smile:

Reply 2

ISH

If there's any possibility of a friendship out of it, I'd let her know that. It would help her I think...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

^^thanks guys. but do any girlies around here have an opinion. Isn't it worth at least giving her a chance?

thanks

Reply 4

Beetle

If you do 'give her a chance' you may find that you fancy her, BUT, if you don't already and you've known her a while then all you'll be doing is setting both her and yourself up for hurt if you realise later that you still don't fancy her. If she she really likes you and you start going out then her feelings will probably get stronger and you might end up hurting her. The fact that you see her everyday would make both your lives a bit awkward if this did happen. Ask her out if you genuinely want a relationship with her, not if you just want to make her happy in the short term.

You seem like a really nice person to be considering her feelings like you are, its admirable.

Hope this was helpful :smile:

Reply 5

blondielilangel

personally i dont think u should ask her out at the moment based on what u say. If u dont fancy her, & dont want to hurt her as u say, i dont think u should risk it - it could be taken as leading her on slightly. My mate had this problem not so long ago, & his gf got quite upset by it - they broke up but luckily r still good mates. Happy ending to that story thankfully :smile:

Give it some more time perhaps - as u reckon shes cute & a 'great girl' u may eventually develop more feelings for her getting to know her better but at the moment i recommend just being friends & seeing how it goes from there.
Dont risk what u have at the moment for something u r unsure about, as u seem from above. I have to agree with bunced & beetle- u seem like a lovely person to be worried about her feelings