Boyfriend going to same uni? :(
Hi
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns
:-
He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns
:-He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
Scroll to see replies
Original post by studentgirl4567
Hi
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns :-
He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns
:-He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
what uni ?
this probably isn't what you want to hear, but if he's possessive and jealous enough that he won't leave you alone to have a normal uni experience, it honestly might be best for you to break up with him. if he won't understand and respect your wants and feelings, he's not the sort of person anyone should be with long-term anyway.
If your boyfriend is quite clingy he will probably get even more so at university as he will think that you have lots of opportunities to meet new guys, which may threaten him a bit. I reckon if you want to stay with him though you can get through this without cutting yourself off from everyone else.
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to be honest. Just tell him that you really want to do all the freshers events at the beginning of term with your new flatmates, and to get to know them well. If he questions this, just say that you really don't want to be seen in your flat as the girl that never socialises with her flat and sticks to her boyfriend. Just keep assuring him that whenever you go out clubbing you're just doing so to have fun with your new friends and although some of your new friends may be guys, they will only be friends and nothing more. I'm sure you won't break up whilst you are at uni, and I'm just saying this because it could happen, but the worse thing would be to spend 100% of your time with your bf and neglect all other potential friends, and then find you break up and have no friends to turn to.
Relationships are all about comprimise, so just like you will have to make sure you don't cross any boundaries and make sure that you don't do anything that could constitute as flirting with your new male friends you have got to let him know that you want to have a balanced uni life and at least for the first few weeks, make an effort to make friends at uni.
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to be honest. Just tell him that you really want to do all the freshers events at the beginning of term with your new flatmates, and to get to know them well. If he questions this, just say that you really don't want to be seen in your flat as the girl that never socialises with her flat and sticks to her boyfriend. Just keep assuring him that whenever you go out clubbing you're just doing so to have fun with your new friends and although some of your new friends may be guys, they will only be friends and nothing more. I'm sure you won't break up whilst you are at uni, and I'm just saying this because it could happen, but the worse thing would be to spend 100% of your time with your bf and neglect all other potential friends, and then find you break up and have no friends to turn to.
Relationships are all about comprimise, so just like you will have to make sure you don't cross any boundaries and make sure that you don't do anything that could constitute as flirting with your new male friends you have got to let him know that you want to have a balanced uni life and at least for the first few weeks, make an effort to make friends at uni.
Hi there!
I think it would be best that you talk with him and let him know of your concerns. You shouldn't be controlled by him, in fact you need to function as a person yourself. I feel you need to consider if he is truly worth the limitations he is putting on your life.
If he is, and you both a really serious about each other, then he will surely respect your wishes to have a group of friends made up of both guys and girls and based upon people who you like! (Not people he wants you around). He should have enough faith in you to go about your uni life.
You shouldn't be dictated to by anger and shouldn't live your life tip-toeing round him to pacify him.
Go and enjoy your uni!
I think it would be best that you talk with him and let him know of your concerns. You shouldn't be controlled by him, in fact you need to function as a person yourself. I feel you need to consider if he is truly worth the limitations he is putting on your life.
If he is, and you both a really serious about each other, then he will surely respect your wishes to have a group of friends made up of both guys and girls and based upon people who you like! (Not people he wants you around). He should have enough faith in you to go about your uni life.
You shouldn't be dictated to by anger and shouldn't live your life tip-toeing round him to pacify him.
Go and enjoy your uni!
I do want him, I absolutely love him. I'm just concerned. I guess if I'm honest and tell him I need to spend time with my flat mates to get to know them then it would be all fine.
It could even be beneficial for the relationship to be close to each other.
Posted from TSR Mobile
It could even be beneficial for the relationship to be close to each other.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by studentgirl4567
I do want him, I absolutely love him. I'm just concerned. I guess if I'm honest and tell him I need to spend time with my flat mates to get to know them then it would be all fine.
It could even be beneficial for the relationship to be close to each other.
Posted from TSR Mobile
It could even be beneficial for the relationship to be close to each other.
Posted from TSR Mobile
just friend zone him
Original post by .S.K.T.
Hi there!
I think it would be best that you talk with him and let him know of your concerns. You shouldn't be controlled by him, in fact you need to function as a person yourself. I feel you need to consider if he is truly worth the limitations he is putting on your life.
If he is, and you both a really serious about each other, then he will surely respect your wishes to have a group of friends made up of both guys and girls and based upon people who you like! (Not people he wants you around). He should have enough faith in you to go about your uni life.
You shouldn't be dictated to by anger and shouldn't live your life tip-toeing round him to pacify him.
Go and enjoy your uni!
I think it would be best that you talk with him and let him know of your concerns. You shouldn't be controlled by him, in fact you need to function as a person yourself. I feel you need to consider if he is truly worth the limitations he is putting on your life.
If he is, and you both a really serious about each other, then he will surely respect your wishes to have a group of friends made up of both guys and girls and based upon people who you like! (Not people he wants you around). He should have enough faith in you to go about your uni life.
You shouldn't be dictated to by anger and shouldn't live your life tip-toeing round him to pacify him.
Go and enjoy your uni!
This is very interesting to hear actually. The last bit about 'tip-toeing' around him is actually really accurate haha.
I think I'll explain my concerns and hope that he respects my wishes when I'm at uni. And if he doesn't, then I should end it because I can't be controlled by him.
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@thecatwithnohat
im sorry but i'm gonna tag you in every thread like this
im sorry but i'm gonna tag you in every thread like this
Original post by studentgirl4567
Hi
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns :-
He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
So after some changes in uni courses my boyfriend is going to the same uni as me...
I dont really want to go into huge details but here are my concerns
:-He'll want to see me loads and it'll be hard for me to socialise. I want to socialise like a normal uni experience but he gets angry when I tell him I can't see him sometimes because I have other things to do
If I talk to a guy when I'm out and he sees me I know he'll get annoyed or come over
If we do begin to argue about me not wanting to see him in order to have a normal uni experience then we will most likely end up breaking up.
I honestly think if it was long distance it would be easier.
Please can people give some advice or their opinions and personal stories would be great.
I'm really worried that this could alter my uni experience and my relationship for the worse
Thanks, pleassseeeee help. Never used TSR before so I'm new to this
Posted from TSR Mobile
He sounds like a possessive and jealous person. If you can have a normal life with him, then perhaps you should consider having a normal life without him.
Original post by Life_peer
Break up? 
Sounds like you don't really want him.
Sounds like you don't really want him.Who would want a possessive and jealous person as bf?
Original post by scriberg
Ditto
Breakup.
Original post by studentgirl4567
This is very interesting to hear actually. The last bit about 'tip-toeing' around him is actually really accurate haha.
I think I'll explain my concerns and hope that he respects my wishes when I'm at uni. And if he doesn't, then I should end it because I can't be controlled by him.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I think I'll explain my concerns and hope that he respects my wishes when I'm at uni. And if he doesn't, then I should end it because I can't be controlled by him.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm sorry things aren't quite perfect and I hope it works out. First and foremost, a relationship is when two people exist together in love, not one in tyranny and the other on a throne of domination.
Good luck!
Original post by thecatwithnohat
Ditto
watch how we're going to tag each other in like a hundred threads
I wouldn't break up with him now. He really isn't that possessive, I think he's come across as controlling in my post and he isn't that bad really.
Maybe I would break up at uni though if it begins to change my experience!
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Maybe I would break up at uni though if it begins to change my experience!
Posted from TSR Mobile
See what it's like, if it doesn't change then call it a day. It could be worse though, I'm going into my second year, have a great life, lovely girlfriend, great mates...oh and a psycho ex-girlfriend who has decided to come to my university despite the fact that she hated it when we went to an open day, she hates the sort of people in my area (posh) and she could've gone to a better place for her course. Going anon because my username is my name lmao
Original post by Anonymous
See what it's like, if it doesn't change then call it a day. It could be worse though, I'm going into my second year, have a great life, lovely girlfriend, great mates...oh and a psycho ex-girlfriend who has decided to come to my university despite the fact that she hated it when we went to an open day, she hates the sort of people in my area (posh) and she could've gone to a better place for her course. Going anon because my username is my name lmao
Oh gosh! That's a bad situation haha! I hope it works out okay
The first sentence of this is my current mindset now after reading the posts on here. I need to be willing to end it if it negatively affects me
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