odd situation

I went out with this bloke for 2 monthsish. I didn't really want to but he and my friends kinda pressured me into it and in the end I thought "why not?"

We became really close, or should I say I became really close to him, and we did everything together. He dumped me about two weeks ago because he felt I was only going out with for the sake of it, that was true for about two weeks, but that all changed.

I started talking to a few friends and after hearing things I've come to realise that he was only going out with me so he could say he had a girlfriend to people because he thought that was cool.

I'm in a right muddle because in a way I'm over him, I don't care what he does or who he sees, but I can't get over the fact I've been used. Everytime I think about it (and I can't help but think about it) I want to burst into tears.

Has anyone else here been used? How did you get over it?

I just feel worthless, my self esteem has plummeted and I just hate myself. I don't want to feel like this, I want to change and what not, I've even started going to a gym so I can feel myself getting fitter just for a self esteem boost but it's not working. I used to be really confident and everything and I can't see why it's so hard to go back to that, but I just can't :frown:

Anyone any advice please?

Reply 1

shewantstobeme

I fancied a guy, and he only went out with me because someone liked him and he wanted a gf (we went out for a month).
I just cried a lot, and eventually got over it. I think, and to some extent this is with any relationship, you eventually reach a point, whether it be days or months after splitting up, where you think "I really am over him now".
So I guess it's just a matter of waiting for that moment, because it will come :smile:

Until then, I'd suggest giving yourself some space from him if you can, and just doing things you enjoy. Shopping, cuddling up with your duvet and reading a good book, having a girly gossip pizza night, etc.

Take you mind off it with something you enjoy, and you'll stop thinking about it less, then over time your feelings will fade away. You'll remember what the feelings were, but you just won't feel them anymore.

Good luck :smile:

edit: also, remember that you are a great person! talk to your mates about how you feel, and they will be able to understand the influence they had on you. that way you can all share the experience together, and know you have support :smile:

and see everything you do now in a positive light. i go to the gym and i love it. it has made me see how important it is to keep a healthy lifestyle, and it makes me feel better about myself knowing that im toned and have good fitness - regardless of how i may look on the outside.
you're the same, wonderful person you always were, you just need to remember what it was from before you went out with your ex, because when you get a new partner your lifestyle always changes.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

anyone got any advice? please.

Reply 3

theonehitwonder

You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you've learned that you should never give into the peer pressure of your friends. That guy is a loser, and you're much better off without him.

He is obviously lacking in some areas if he feels that he needs to have a girlfriend to be 'cool'. Keep on doing all the things that you enjoy, and soon enough, you'll meet a wonderful guy worthy of your time.