Do you agree with my boyfriend?

do you live a long way apart or something? whay doesnt he just go out on the nights that you will be out?

Reply 3

OP

no, we live about 45mins way from each other, at least once a week, normally more, only been seeing each other for like 6 weeks. I said about him coming out, but he hates the place we're going Monday and i asked him about Thursday and he was like "meh, nahh don't really want to".

Reply 4

Raziel

i think he is being the unreasonable one but you have got to give him some leeway in my opinion is not easy losing your job because you have too much free time to think etc

just be gentle with him and make him understand you both got different stuff to do and separate lifes and cant be together 24/7 but that doesnt mean you dont want to spend time with him... hope that made sense :redface:

Reply 5

sebbie

well maybe he's taken the attitude that if you're going to be out most of the time he may as well go out with his mates, maybe he's not around the 2 nights you are free....

Reply 6

OP

yeah i think that's deinfitely the attitude he's taken and the thing is i don't have a problem with him going out with his mates, but i know he is free when im free and it's not as if i'm only going to see him in the evenings, i can still see him during the day on the days i'm going out with mates. I suppose i'll just have to try and get him to calm down and show him i will spend time with him and want to. Cheers for the input.

Reply 7

sebbie

it's probably that he doesn't like being scheduled in during your half term... He may feel that you have two free evenings so you are just slotting him in there...

Reply 8

OP

yeah i think you're right (thoughi do have the two weekends two!) but iget the point about scheduling, i really didn't mean it to come out like it did, i just wanted us to plan something decent to do, rather than do stuff we always do, o well.

Reply 9

Adhsur

Haha, you're so romantic aren't you. "Can't wait to see you but I'm choosing other friends over you on all these dates". I can understand he'd be upset and he's right about you seeing your friends on other days so he should take priority. Surely even if you WERE going to see your friends some days you shouldn't have said it like that before your half-term has even started. Sounds like you're already preparing him for constant let-downs and trying to fit him in into already-busy schedules. If I was missing someone that much and couldn't wait to see them, the first thing I'd say to them certainly wouldn't be to warn him of my other plans. Get your priorities right.

Reply 10

L0RA

Do you stay at each others places? Why cant you spend one weekend at his and the next weekend at yours? Then you have the week days to spend with your friends?

Reply 11

OP

we do stay at each others places. i personally think my priorities are right, i've just realised that what i said i how i said it to him must have come out wrong. and adhsur, you stupidly judgmental poster, who says i want to be romantic? and "i'm choosing friends over you ON ALL THESE DATES" thant's exactly what i mean-its 3 evenings out of 11 days for goodness sake. i realise now though that it must have sounded like i am just slotting him in, which isn't the case, it's more a case of me slotting my mates in.

Reply 12

FadedJade

She wasn't meaning to be rude, simply that it would have been more tactful to leave until a bit later in the coversation.

Reply 13

OP

well to be honest the post sounds rude, compared with other posters who were saying the same thing, so...anyway didn't come here to get into a stupid argument.

Reply 14

Hashem

he is an idiot! girl its enough you laid out your week for him, that is enough on its own, i wouldnt want to preplan my week for a girl and then inform her about her, i dont want the feeling that i have to report

Reply 15

ravenous_soup_dragon

Hmm, I'm afraid to say I do partially agree with your boyfriend, if you don't see him very often during term time.

My boyfriend's at uni whilst I'm on my gap year, and I only see him once every two weeks. I work full time in London and so seeing him when he's back from uni can only be at weekends really as I don't get back til very late, and I do kind of get irritated when he wants to go out with uni friends in the evenings and I'm at home on my own because my gap year's pretty lonely and he actually lives with his friends.

Your boyfriend might also be feeling low because he lost his job - perhaps you could meet him half way by spending a little bit more time than you'd pencilled in for him during half term and less time with your mates, to make him feel better?

Reply 16

Supersonic

Anonymous

well to be honest the post sounds rude, compared with other posters who were saying the same thing, so...anyway didn't come here to get into a stupid argument.

Ok so the topic is 'Do you agree with my boyfriend?'. As soon as someone does, you attack them and dismiss them a judgemental poster - all posters are being judgemental, you are asking for judgement and opinion (although the others are judging in your favour, which is the only difference). This is probable the problem. You can't understand or accept anybody else's point of view, not even your boyfriends. Of course he's going to be upset at the fact you're going out with your friends instead of seeing him - maybe he had a lot of plans, maybe he wanted to surprise you with something on these nights. Can't you understand why he would be upset? And yet when he decides he might want to see his friends as well, you still can't understand! You seem to want to have your cake and eat it.

The solution is maybe to understand his point of view and let him know that you do. Then maybe he will understand your own. You're demanding him to understand your stance without making any effort to understand his. That seems unfair. If you want him to understand, make the first move - instead of taking the easy road and declaring him selfish while you are just a fun-loving girl who needs to let her hair down and spend time with her friends. The cliche 'get over yourself' seems fitting.

Reply 17

OP

"The cliche 'get over yourself' seems fitting." are you kidding me? i will take everything else you say but that. we've sorted things out now anyway. cheers for everyone's input. have a great evening.

Reply 18

TheShrimp

5

I personally don't agree with your boyfriend. I can't believe he's acting like this when (1) He's 21; and (2) You've only been going out for 6 weeks (if I were only seeing someone for about 1 month, my friends would be more of a priority than my boyfriend)

Reply 19

ravenous_soup_dragon