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Sexual Assault
Okay, I'm just gonna come straight out with this cos its doing my head in and I feel like I might be able to gain some good advice out of you guys.
Last week I went out with some of my girl mates. We all got pretty tipsy and met up with some guys who were kinda friends with one of my friends bf. I knew one of the guys from a few weeks back cos he randomly started swearing at me and being quite agressive for no reason. He apologised for that and bought me a drink. I gotta say I was pretty wasted, sorta falling all over the place.
Then the club closed and everyone dispersed and I was left walking home with this guy cos he lives vaguely in my direction. He invited me in and i stupidly said yes and we started watching a film and he suddenly jumped on me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I pushed him off a few seconds later (didnt kiss him back) very shocked and told him it wasnt a good idea. He carried on tho and i think i passed out, but woke up and he was taking off my clothes. I said no, but he told me to keep quiet. I was too drunk to think properly. I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell. I was crying loads too.
The thing is I dont know if its properly rape cos I went back to his. He must have been expecting something right? He's talked to my friends bf about it and he said that I'd cry rape. I've not told anyone except one of my friends, I feel like no ones gonna believe me. What should I do?
Last week I went out with some of my girl mates. We all got pretty tipsy and met up with some guys who were kinda friends with one of my friends bf. I knew one of the guys from a few weeks back cos he randomly started swearing at me and being quite agressive for no reason. He apologised for that and bought me a drink. I gotta say I was pretty wasted, sorta falling all over the place.
Then the club closed and everyone dispersed and I was left walking home with this guy cos he lives vaguely in my direction. He invited me in and i stupidly said yes and we started watching a film and he suddenly jumped on me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I pushed him off a few seconds later (didnt kiss him back) very shocked and told him it wasnt a good idea. He carried on tho and i think i passed out, but woke up and he was taking off my clothes. I said no, but he told me to keep quiet. I was too drunk to think properly. I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell. I was crying loads too.
The thing is I dont know if its properly rape cos I went back to his. He must have been expecting something right? He's talked to my friends bf about it and he said that I'd cry rape. I've not told anyone except one of my friends, I feel like no ones gonna believe me. What should I do?
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sounds clear cut to me... tell someone
this guy shouldn't get away with that
this guy shouldn't get away with that
It is rape. It's most definitely rape.
Please, tell someone close to you, even if you don't report it. That bastard needs to be seen to.
Please, tell someone close to you, even if you don't report it. That bastard needs to be seen to.
Please tell someone asap. The police need to deal with that guy 
Its certainly Rape from a legal perspective - You just have to try and prove it...Good Luck
Yes that is absolutely, categorically and definitely rape. You must go to the police (although sadly you should brace yourelf for a lot of understanding people being very kind to you and gently explaining that it will get nowhere in court) as just being called in to be questioned by the police might scare this guy enough that he never does it again. On a harsher note please make sure you never put yourself in that kind of situation again. This is in no way your fault but sadly people don't always mean well and you have to take responsibility for yourself. Feel free to PM me if you ever need a more private chat. I was drug raped a few years ago so am well aware of that awful feeling of not being able to fight back.
It is rape. It may be too late as you say this happened last week, but if you go to the doctors they can examine you and if they find physical signs that you have been raped then it can be used as evidence against this horrible guy. The police may want a dna test done as further evidence. also, i know it's a horrible thought but if your period is late you will need to take a pregnancy test, you're too late for emergency contraception now (it must be taken within 72 hours of the incident).
Good luck, I wish you all the best - seek help NOW, I hope this guy gets what he deserves.
Good luck, I wish you all the best - seek help NOW, I hope this guy gets what he deserves.
Yes, it was rape.
Get to a GP and get examined, and also call the police and ask for their advice.
And next time, don't go back to some agressive lad's place when you are pissed . . . but you know that, right?
Get to a GP and get examined, and also call the police and ask for their advice.
And next time, don't go back to some agressive lad's place when you are pissed . . . but you know that, right?
Anonymous
It is rape. It may be too late as you say this happened last week, but if you go to the doctors they can examine you and if they find physical signs that you have been raped then it can be used as evidence against this horrible guy. The police may want a dna test done as further evidence. also, i know it's a horrible thought but if your period is late you will need to take a pregnancy test, you're too late for emergency contraception now (it must be taken within 72 hours of the incident).
Good luck, I wish you all the best - seek help NOW, I hope this guy gets what he deserves.
Good luck, I wish you all the best - seek help NOW, I hope this guy gets what he deserves.
Oh Christ yeah, I forgot about all that - I expect he didn't use a condom. OP you must also get yourself to a GUM clinic so they can advise you about possible pregnancy and/or STIs. Don't be embarrassed, when I went they were blissfully kind and made me feel much more in control. Also as anonymous very cleverly said, a doctor's exam will be able to note down any lesions or signs of local trauma which will contribute to evidence of non-consensual sex.
Just thought I'd check out the statistics - there not good I'm afraid. 85% of juries in a situation like yours will say "Not Guilty" Your gong to find proof Im afraid...
That was most definitely rape! I don't think it would hold up in court-see above post but there's nothing you can really do about it...unless you have an older bro or male friends that could sort him out-violence is never the answer but if i was in your position i would be soo angry.
Anonymous
Okay, I'm just gonna come straight out with this cos its doing my head in and I feel like I might be able to gain some good advice out of you guys.
Last week I went out with some of my girl mates. We all got pretty tipsy and met up with some guys who were kinda friends with one of my friends bf. I knew one of the guys from a few weeks back cos he randomly started swearing at me and being quite agressive for no reason. He apologised for that and bought me a drink. I gotta say I was pretty wasted, sorta falling all over the place.
Then the club closed and everyone dispersed and I was left walking home with this guy cos he lives vaguely in my direction. He invited me in and i stupidly said yes and we started watching a film and he suddenly jumped on me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I pushed him off a few seconds later (didnt kiss him back) very shocked and told him it wasnt a good idea. He carried on tho and i think i passed out, but woke up and he was taking off my clothes. I said no, but he told me to keep quiet. I was too drunk to think properly. I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell. I was crying loads too.
The thing is I dont know if its properly rape cos I went back to his. He must have been expecting something right? He's talked to my friends bf about it and he said that I'd cry rape. I've not told anyone except one of my friends, I feel like no ones gonna believe me. What should I do?
Last week I went out with some of my girl mates. We all got pretty tipsy and met up with some guys who were kinda friends with one of my friends bf. I knew one of the guys from a few weeks back cos he randomly started swearing at me and being quite agressive for no reason. He apologised for that and bought me a drink. I gotta say I was pretty wasted, sorta falling all over the place.
Then the club closed and everyone dispersed and I was left walking home with this guy cos he lives vaguely in my direction. He invited me in and i stupidly said yes and we started watching a film and he suddenly jumped on me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I pushed him off a few seconds later (didnt kiss him back) very shocked and told him it wasnt a good idea. He carried on tho and i think i passed out, but woke up and he was taking off my clothes. I said no, but he told me to keep quiet. I was too drunk to think properly. I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell. I was crying loads too.
The thing is I dont know if its properly rape cos I went back to his. He must have been expecting something right? He's talked to my friends bf about it and he said that I'd cry rape. I've not told anyone except one of my friends, I feel like no ones gonna believe me. What should I do?
that is rape - you should talk to a counsellor and see if youre prepared to go to the police.
the guy deserves to have his name in the paper 'john doe appears this morning infront of the magistrates court, on a count of premeditated sexual assault' so all his friends and family know what he did (as well as some jail time)
violence doesnt (always) solve anything
i am a male, i was date raped at a (gay) friends party by him and his boyfriend after other guests left.
Obviously i wasnt going to come out of this (being straight) and let the world know men had their way with me...
so my (straight and very close friends) and i administered a little 'vigilantism' and well.. my ex friend and his boyfriend werent walking for a long time after that, let alone haveing sex...
i think rape and murder are the only crimes which deserve life/death sentence.
i am a male, i was date raped at a (gay) friends party by him and his boyfriend after other guests left.
Obviously i wasnt going to come out of this (being straight) and let the world know men had their way with me...
so my (straight and very close friends) and i administered a little 'vigilantism' and well.. my ex friend and his boyfriend werent walking for a long time after that, let alone haveing sex...
i think rape and murder are the only crimes which deserve life/death sentence.
Rape crisis phoneline, 0115 900 3560.
Call them tomorrow, working hours. Then get yourself tested and, if you feel up to it, tell the police.
Call them tomorrow, working hours. Then get yourself tested and, if you feel up to it, tell the police.
Clear cut rape.
Call the police.
On the other hand, the conviction rate for rape is only around 5% for all rape including stranger rape and is only around 2% for acquaintance rape.
http://www.itv.com/news/index_361aa9b7970533d57b0ea08b7b104aa5.html
"The latest figures show that convictions stand at just 5.31 per cent.
They found some cases were being dropped prematurely while authorities failing to effectively implement the wide range of measures designed to boost the conviction rate. The report said police wrongly recorded rape allegations as "no crimes" in nearly a third of cases when the claims should have been investigated further.
"There has been a sevenfold rise in the number of people reporting rape since 1985 but only one in 20 people accused of the crime is convicted."
Call the police.
On the other hand, the conviction rate for rape is only around 5% for all rape including stranger rape and is only around 2% for acquaintance rape.
http://www.itv.com/news/index_361aa9b7970533d57b0ea08b7b104aa5.html
"The latest figures show that convictions stand at just 5.31 per cent.
They found some cases were being dropped prematurely while authorities failing to effectively implement the wide range of measures designed to boost the conviction rate. The report said police wrongly recorded rape allegations as "no crimes" in nearly a third of cases when the claims should have been investigated further.
"There has been a sevenfold rise in the number of people reporting rape since 1985 but only one in 20 people accused of the crime is convicted."
Buteo
It was a rape, but you are pretty much at fault as well, as he did not force you to do it, maybe he was as drunk as you were. If I were you I'd talk to him and ask him his true intentions, that'll give you an idea of what kind of guy he is.
I said no, but he told me to keep quiet.
I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell.
I kept drifting in and out of conciousness so the whole things pretty patchy, but i remember it hurt like hell.
I don't wanna piss on your bonfire here but maybe you should check out the program on BBC TWO called THE VERDICT - they recreate (i assume) a very realistic show of a rape case which is similar to yours ( i havent seen it up to where it currently is) but i am very surprised in which the way the defence barrister could bring up the fact of thigns like the girl was possibly drunk and entered the room of her own will etc and make her come off looking really bad!
After watching some of this it is no surprise that some girls don't want to go to court but i certainly think you should call the police (most improtantly try to preserve DNA evidence)
After watching some of this it is no surprise that some girls don't want to go to court but i certainly think you should call the police (most improtantly try to preserve DNA evidence)
Related discussions
- Does this count as sexual harassment?
- Is it sexual assault if someone keeps moving their hand up your thigh?
- Is it sexual assault if..
- Is this sexual assault?
- Uncomfortable with guy kissing me in the club
- Getting taken advantage of while sleeping
- Did I sexually assault my friend?
- sexual assault or not?
- Should I tell my bf ?
- Rebecca Joynes: Teacher guilty of sex with two boys
- Participants needed!!
- I told him it hurt be he kept going
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- One of my ex-friends used to grope me and touch my inappropriate what should I do?
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- Participants needed
- Survey based on Dramas!
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- Festival Weekend!!!
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