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I don't think I have any friends

Just posting this to try and get ideas on what to do in my situation. Any advice appreciated.

I started sixth form in September, and left behind a lot of friends who didn't have time for me, because I had new commitments, new friends, and also they were pretty bad friends (as in very ungrateful).

Six months later my situation is this:

•

My old friends are very hostile. I didn't want them to be though, I just wanted to try and make them realise that they didn't value friendship enough. I don't really care though, but one of them I do, because it's not in his character to be like that. He's usually supportive and always pushing people forward, but he was a kinda close friend and I pissed him off I think.
My current friends are starting to doubt whether I like them or not. I've been absent a heck of a lot, and they think it's because I don't like school or them. But I do. I'm just lazy and a bit uncomfortable around them at times. It's weird adjusting to them because they were all friends before but I'm the newcomer. I'm doing badly at school as well because of my absences, but I have issues with understanding my work and sleep.

All I can say is, I don't really know what to do. I half want to just be independent and get on with my work, or I want to get in touch with old friends (without knowing what to say actually, they're really resentful) or I want to focus on getting along with my new friends and just being myself, and sorting out my bloody schoolwork! I've gotten really bad, but there is hardly any help at school for my subjects (we're the overlooked GCE AS course).

Please guys any advice.

Reply 1

Cyclotron

your new friends obviously value your friendship so stick with them. go to school and dont miss lessons, get help with the work you dont understand. with regards to sleep, the easiest solution is to force yourself to get up and to go to bed when your tired, then you'll just get used to that routine.

if you ask for help they will give you help

Reply 2

Gars de baccalaureats

i know how you feel mate.

friends are something that has become a convention over the generations.

not everyone needs friends and i have learned to live with that.

start a business up or something it will probably make you feel better as you feel you have achieved something on your own and it will also make you feel proud.

and yes i was formerly MILLION DOLLAR MAN.

Reply 3

L0RA

9

You dont realise how much of a difference actually attending school/college makes to enjoying lessons and making friends.

I had 30% attendance for last year at college which is quite frankly awful, no wonder they asked me to leave more than once. Anyway, i hated the college (as it was so far away and they didnt give me any help with transport costs and i was too old to get EMA) i felt like i didnt really have any friends so went as little as possible. However, in the last few weeks of term before we broke up for exams i was told i had to attend 100% of lessons or they'd withdraw me from exams, this was enough to make me go since i didnt want to have to retake the year.

I started going and even in the last few weeks of term made great friends and enjoyed it a hell of alot more because i was actually there when the things they were talking about happened!

I'm at Uni now and still my downfall is attending, i'm AWFUL at it. If theres a lesson i dont like i wont go. But when you start going you realise it really isnt as bad as you think it is and people are always friendly even when they dont really know you.

Make an effort to go and you'll enjoy it a hell of alot more, your grades wil improve because you're attending as well.

EDIT: with regards to sleep just FORCE yourself to get up, seriously. Once you've got up you'll go to bed at a sensible time the next night and it'll all become alot easier. Its repeatedly staying in bed late that messes up your sleeping pattern and make you unable to sleep at night :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

This is all really good advice, and so soon, thanks. I will try and attend more, and I'm trying to get into a regular sleeping pattern this half term so I'm fresh for the remainder of the term, because my attendance and punctuality so far this year is pretty appaling.

I'm also interested on your thoughts on the old friend(s). Have I left it too late to even bother trying to patch things up? I just don't like the atmosphere when I talk to them now, but would like to catch up with one or two.

Reply 5

Gars de baccalaureats

Thread Starter can you PM me i may be able to help you start a business.( you can make another account or something)

i think you might be just like me...you dont really need friends

Reply 6

Gars de baccalaureats

Anonymous

This is all really good advice, and so soon, thanks. I will try and attend more, and I'm trying to get into a regular sleeping pattern this half term so I'm fresh for the remainder of the term, because my attendance and punctuality so far this year is pretty appaling.

I'm also interested on your thoughts on the old friend(s). Have I left it too late to even bother trying to patch things up? I just don't like the atmosphere when I talk to them now, but would like to catch up with one or two.

would you really like to or do you want to because it will make you feel better if everyone knows you are together again?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

No, don't get me wrong, 2 of them were really good friends, and I've got great memories from some times out with them.

Anyway, about the business, what sort of business is it? & are you sure it's manageable with school etc?

Reply 8

L0RA

9

Perhaps try and meet up with the friends you like on their own. I dont mean try and single them out i just mean that it'll be easier to regain your friendship on a one to one level than trying to meet up in a group.

Simply send them an email saying that you'd really like to meet up, you dont want any negative feelings between you both and miss their friendship.

I regrettably lost touch with all but one of my school friends due to me leaving school because of personal problems and them not understanding. We're now (2 years later) on speaking terms but i would never consider them my friends. But, i've moved on and keep in touch with people from college and have met so many amazing people at uni.

Good Luck :smile:

Reply 9

Mazraz

1

A-Levels Guy

Thread Starter can you PM me i may be able to help you start a business.( you can make another account or something)

i think you might be just like me...you dont really need friends

um im not sure about not needing friends at all, just that for some people it isharder to find other people who appreciate you for who you are etc etc so always look for friends but dont make yourself dependent on them. just a thought

Reply 10

wackysparkle

14

hmm - well , why did you change friend circles? - as the reason must be severe for you to join another group --

and, i believe your friends just want an explanation, as what may seem like an obvious reason to them may seem quite oblivious - perhaps that is why they are acting hostile - and maybe thats why this one friend is particularly pissed off -as he felt that both of you were close enough for you to tell him what was going on for you to have to move friend circles

Reply 11

Anthonyjm71

9

possibly time for you to broaden your horizons i dont mean to lose contact with friends that you've known for several years but sometimes you can and do drift apart and thats the time to move on and go out and make news friends in life friends do change so then is time to do what is bsst how you feel and most comfortable with..

Reply 12

Cyclotron

everyone needs friends

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

wackysparkle, I'm doing a different course to my old friends where there's only 20 odd people so we're sort of stuck together all the time, and I made friends with 6 of them (already a group) but now they are starting to leave me out of things because of my absences, which I regret now.

Reply 14

UnspokenTruth

Cyclotron

everyone needs friends

of course

Reply 15

Cyclotron

UnspokenTruth

of course

a-levels guy says he is fine without...

Reply 16

wackysparkle

14

so do you mean to say that your new friends are leaving you out of things now?

i hate to pry - but this is clearly something to do with your absence -- i hope that its a valid..........as it is clearing affecting you now

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Huuge bump. I'm pretty much in the same situation, and it's my b'day next week. I don't think I'll be celebrating which is a real shame. I wish I could make some new friends!

I don't really know what advice I'm looking for but it's worth a shot I suppose..

Reply 18

Verbazen

Since it's your birthday you could organise a small gathering with some of your friends at your new school, and go out somewhere bowling or something. That way you could get to know everyone better and patch things up if things need patching.

Reply 19

Ywiss

15

No no, don't miss this chance! Birthdays are one of the few times when you can say, "I'm having a party" without it seeming strange or random. Definitely do one - because, well, people are just as insecure as you - they probably think you don't like them any more, and if you invite them to your party you're reaffirming your friendship with them and it's a chance to do something that's initiated by you.

I don't think I have any friends

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