Indian girl and Black guy - Her parents disapprove:(

Have you met her parents yet? Maybe by meeting them they will see what you are truly like, or get the girl to talk to her parents and explain how racist their attitudes are, perhaps they don't realise how unacceptable their views are?0

Hi guys,

I am a black Caribbean male in a relationship with an Indian girl. She recently told her mum about us and her mum strongly disapproved. The relationship has lasted over a year, but she told her mum that I had only just recently asked her out to avoid further distrust. She has not told her Dad yet.

I do not fit any of the numerous and seemingly endless negative stereotypes of black boys. I do not wear my trousers below my bum, I do not carry a knife, I do not smoke anything, I'm not a criminal nor am I part of any gang and I do not consider myself uneducated. In fact, I've attained 3 A's at A level and I will begin my 1st year of undergraduate medicine in September. I believe I am a good kind hearted person overall and I only want to make my gf happy.

Despite this, her mum came up with a range of excuses : They are not committed and always go back to their own; they will not respect your culture; how will it look on the family ; I would rather you be with an Indian on minimum wage than a black doctor.

With regards to her culture, I am Christian and she is Hindu. I am personally not very religious at all so I would never try to change her or dissuade her from Hinduism. She is not too religious either so we have both agreed that down the line,should we procreate, we shall raise our children with awareness of both religions. What matters most is that our children are upstanding citizens of society.

It hurts that her mum, or anyone, would paint us all with the same brush. All relationships carry the risk of not working out. There are uncommitted Indians as well as Black people and shouldn't your daughters happiness and her finding a loving companion take preference over what family or anyone else thinks?

It comes across as unreasonable and racist to me. If I had exactly the same credentials, but was Indian they would welcome me with open arms. Not saying all Asians are racist, I know that certainly the vast majority of 3rd generation Asians are not. It is just really saddening to us both, but I will be with her regardless of what her parents think.

Thank you for reading all of that if you did. I had a lot to get off of my chest lol. If you are or know anyone who is an Asian female dating outside her race would you mind sharing your/their experiences/ give advice?

Sadly, its to do with culture/religion so, it is very unlikely that the whole situation will work out especially if her parents already had someone in mind for her.

x