friend attempted suicide..what do i do what should i say???

my very good friend attemted suicide yesterday, shes on the other side of the country while im still in uni, i just feel so helpless, im going to see her tmr but i just dont knwo what to say, what do i say to someone to make them feel that life is worth living, she has got so many troubles that i have no experience of myself but i can totally understand why she is feelign so desperate, i would feel so lost without her and i feel sick everytime i think about the fact that i almost lost her, im scared shell do it again and be successful . the worst thing is that i am doing such a demanding course at university that i only see her in the holidays, and i cant call her because she has no mobile, i just feel that maybe i could have prevented this, if id visited her (its impossible with my course..it really is)i just cant stand the fact that im so far away from her and she felt like this with noone to turn to.

any advice of what to say to her/ how to act with her when i meet up with her, and how i can support her when im far away from her so she wont feel desperate enough to try this agsin would be much appreciated :frown:

Reply 1

wackysparkle

14

sometimes a hug is the best opening

Reply 2

lil'p

10

maybe u should tell her parents? maybe they are the only ones that can help?

Reply 3

HeadShock

wackysparkle

sometimes a hug is the best opening

I agree, just give her a hug and tell her you are always there for her.

its very sad, but in the end there isn't much you can do except give support.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

my very good friend attemted suicide yesterday, shes on the other side of the country while im still in uni, i just feel so helpless, im going to see her tmr but i just dont knwo what to say, what do i say to someone to make them feel that life is worth living, she has got so many troubles that i have no experience of myself but i can totally understand why she is feelign so desperate, i would feel so lost without her and i feel sick everytime i think about the fact that i almost lost her, im scared shell do it again and be successful . the worst thing is that i am doing such a demanding course at university that i only see her in the holidays, and i cant call her because she has no mobile, i just feel that maybe i could have prevented this, if id visited her (its impossible with my course..it really is)i just cant stand the fact that im so far away from her and she felt like this with noone to turn to.

any advice of what to say to her/ how to act with her when i meet up with her, and how i can support her when im far away from her so she wont feel desperate enough to try this agsin would be much appreciated :frown:

You can't. It's not your fault so please don't blame yourself or think that you could have prevented it.

I suppose what you do depends on what happened and how you found out. If she was taken to hospital she would most likely be referred to a specialist, such as a psychologist. Even if not it may be something to recommend to her. She can be referred through her doctor.

There are different 'types' of suicide attempts. Serious and pleas for help. Either way she needs to be taken seriously. She needs to get help.

Act normally with her. Having been in her situation a couple of times I found it worse when people didn't know what to say. Tell her how much you care about her. Maybe buy her one of those friendship cards, just to show that you're there for her.

Are there people close by who she can talk to? Does she socialise a lot? The chances are, with uni life, she has a number of friends where she is. If she's been withdrawing recently perhaps you could organise a big get-together, even if it's just drinks in a pub. It may sort of help get her connected again.

Ask her if she would do it again. It's a hard question but don't dodge it. You can't give her ideas by asking (which a lot of people are scared of). If she's thinking of it it's already there. Talking about it may help her and will help her realise she can talk to you. Even if she doesn't want to talk about it, it may help her to realise your concern. Suggest that she gets help. That really is the way forward.

Don't lay on the guilt. Don't obsess over it. Be as normal as you can, but don't avoid it. Talk about it. It will 'break the ice' between you.

Please don't feel guilty though. You are doing all you can. Just let her know that you are there for her and try to encourage her to get the help that she needs.

Reply 5

sidi

1

Show her that you love and care for her but don't load on the guilt. Don't worry about what to say, your presence is the most important thing. On a practical note, is there any chance you could buy her a mobile? That might help a little knowing you are only a phone call away. Also you could send her texts so she knows somebody cares.

Reply 6

invisible_gal

Hey
Give her a hug, sit down and talk to her, show her you're there for her and tell her that no matter what she thinks, she's an amazing person and you're proud to be her friend.
Try and help her, but don't whatever you do imply that you're disappointed in her or make her feel guilty, believe me, it will make her feel a lot worse, though im sure you wouldn't do that, just some people do without realising.
Yeah, persuading her to buy a mobile or helping her to buy one is a good idea as sidi said.
And it probably is a good idea to try and persuade her to visit her GP, you could even go with her and either sit in the room with her or wait outside. Don't tell her parents though behind her back! It will just make her more unhappy probably.
You sound like a good friend though, you'll know what to do.

Reply 7

Trousers

11

The sad thing is that there is no right thing to do. You need to do whatever your friend wants you to do, but it might be hard to know what she wants.

Go to see her if she wants you to. Listen. Make sure she knows that you love her, you're concerned and you're taking her seriously.

One of the most important things is to come to terms with the situation yourself, and realise that there's not an awful lot that you can do. Understand that your friend needs you, but she has to want to live, and she has to come to that decision herself - it cannot be made for her.

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Act as normal as you can. Give her a hug, say anything that comes to your mind. My mum came in (at this point theyd just decided I prob would survive) and said 'If you ever do that again I'm going to kill you'. It was a very odd opening line, but let me know that a) they werent pleased, because they loved me too much to imagine life without me, b) that they didnt hate me for it and c) that they wanted to sort everything out with me. Go in, ask her if shes feeling any better, ask her if theres anything she wants, and then judge it from then on. If she wants to talk about it, let her, just make sure when you get home you have someone to talk to. If she wants to pretend it never happened, gently mention that youre always there, any time of day, and then move on to another subject. You know youre friend and how close you are etc. Use that to your advantage. And remember...shes still the same person she was last time you saw her, youre friend.

friend attempted suicide..what do i do what should i say???

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