i am in such a mess

like what the title says.

i flipped out today at school, the teachers told me to go home. ive been so stressed, what with coursework. im in 6th form. the work is really building up. im having an operation next week and im absolutely petrified.

my mate who ive been really close to for years has been really nasty for a while. shes really damaging my self esteem. she gives me nasty looks, blanks me, generally doesnt care about me, never responds to texts etc. talks to everyone except me. and when i say hello to her she ignores me. or if i ask her a question she just shrugs. it hurts so much cos we went through secondary school together and she just doesnt value our friendship anymore and its like a stab in the heart. its making me feel worthless. ive asked her what ive done wrong, and if she still wants to be mates, she says yeah but why treat me like this? my other mates have asked her what her problem is with me, theyve noticed it but she says shes fine with me, shes not willing to give an explanation. and i am soo hurt.
my mates are coming into the hospital with me next week to support me. but she doesnt want to. shes free. but doesnt want to.

the operation and coursework dont help and i am close to breaking down.last week i practically passed out. my self esteem has plummeted big time.

i was so lonely and depressed for months, i got myself into an embarasing situation which took me months to move on and all this happens. i was even self harming.

later on in the year im having another operation which will leave me on crutches for abt 2/3 months and im even more scared of this.

im in just such a mess. and i dont know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

hannah_dru

2

I'm also suffering from stress bigtime, because of A Levels, and I've been in a major state twice in 2 of my lessons. Thankfully it was just me and the teacher. I don't know if it's your thing, but I'm going back to my fomer counsellor to see if she can help me. I find it's nice to have someone to talk to.

Reply 2

wackysparkle

14

hmm - maybe your friend is worried for you, thats why she doesn't want to come to the hospital. and i think that she is not mad at you necessarily - maybe just the idea of the hospital + operations? maybe she has unpleasant memories about it

have you tried talking to a psychologist? as this involves the after effect and impact of surgery on you

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

trust me shes not worried

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

shes been nasty to me for QUITE a while, a few months

Reply 5

wackysparkle

14

leave her be - maybe she is going through her own problems

is she mean to you only? or other people as well?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

she is soo nice to everyone but me. shes mean to me only, but im supposed to be her closest mate out of everyone. we were best mates for years

Reply 7

wackysparkle

14

well i was real good friends with someone till final year when i realised that she was just a hypocrite realy - don't know what started it

but i think you should leave her be -- you have your own problems - you don't need her right now -- you have your other friends - maybe she is having problems right now - and maybe she just wants to take out her anger on someone, i dont know, either way, its just incomprehensible without her telling you -- just leave it

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

she could think that 'IM' the hypocrite? i havnt done anything wrong, but its possible isnt it?

Reply 9

wackysparkle

14

dont stress on these things - i gave up wondering why my friend turned out bad in the end - i don't even talk to her in the end - + i have better friends now - so allz good

but really, don't stress on it - you have asked her -and she said that she was still your friend -- thats al you can do really - you will just add more worry on your head if you keep stressing about this

Reply 10

Logan

4

shes not a good friend then... true friends dont do that to their mates =/ i say just leave her be.. someone else will come your way whose much more worth your trust. I know its easy to say things in words.. the only thing I can say is that whatever **** life throws at you.. throw the **** back at it.

Just be strong to yourself, and aim for something... like getting the grades you need.. go to uni.. graduate.. get a job... find that special someone etc etc. Theres more to life and things like this are a part of it... Its so hard me typing things down and set some advices because of the fact that we are all anonymous in the internet :frown:

Youll make it through no matter what

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

then why treat me like sh** then?

Reply 12

sidi

1

Sounds like you're having a terrible time. At least school know what you are going through so they will be understanding about your coursework and things. Right now you need the suppport of your friends so concentrate on those who do care about you. As for the operation, it's only natural to be frightened but you'll be unconscious so it'll all be over when you wake up. Take one day at a time. Deal with things as they happen and try not to worry about what 'might' happen. Right now you need to have a relaxing weekend.

Reply 13

wackysparkle

14

who knows that is going on in her mind??
i used to be like you, worrying about things like this
i don't care now - if your friends appreciate you, and want to like you, they will, if they dont - then they are not your friend -- even if the friendship was for many years -- i lost friends like that -- but i stand by the above statment now

Reply 14

Jillie Boe

14

I can understand where you're coming from with the coursework.

A level pushed me and my friends to breaking point. For the exams I was doing 4 hours of revision a day for 3 months. Literally drained me completely.

But everyone feels the pressure and it just builds you up for what to expect a little at Uni (of course that is if you're going). Take one thing at a time, you can do your A levels and I'm sure you'll do really well hon :smile:

And if you're really worried about the operation speak to the surgeon. Ask him to run through it step by step if you want. Yours doesn't seem too major, although I admit it can still be terrifying. Stop worrying, I'm sure everything will fall into place.

i am in such a mess

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