coming out went badly..

A few days ago I came out to my dad as a lesbian.

I had been worrying and keeping this a secret for 5 months. I told him that I was 100% sure. He replied saying things like;
+ Is it because you went to a girls school?"
+ Are you sure you're not doing it to be indie, or just liking the idea of it?"
+ you seemed to be really happy when you had boyfriends.."

He asked me how I can know when I haven't had a girlfriend, to which I replied "how do you know you're not gay when you haven't had a boyfriend?" I just said that I know because I want to be with a girl, and I don't like boys like that, and I didn't really when I was with them. I just never realised that there was another option, but now that I have , I feel much happier.

He just didn't seem to understand and I felt as if he didn't take me seriously. Which is odd cause i didn't expect this, and it just made me doubt myself so much, and I got really upset. I mean he said that he still loves me, but both him and my mum think that It's just a phase or reaction to boys that I've dated.. or as my mum said " its just because you haven't met a nice guy?" I don't know what to do? It really hurts and confuses me to know that they don't think my feelings are valid...

Reply 1

karl pilkington

Hey they a probably just disappointed and upset and worrying about stuff like not having grandchildren etc and so are trying to pretend to themselves. It is nice that they said they still love you. You can't expect them to be happy as they probably are disappointed,

Reply 2

picklescamp

not the ideal reaction, but that doesn't mean he wont adjust his outlook after his initial reaction :smile:

Just give him some time. Obviously came as a shock to him and he probably just needs some time to digest it.

Reply 5

Inglesa

Original post by will_jg

Just give him some time. Obviously came as a shock to him and he probably just needs some time to digest it.

I agree. It took you time to come to terms with it, so you need to give him the same time because he has to think through what you've told him.

Reply 6

battycatlady

Original post by Anonymous

I went through the exact same thing with my dad a couple of months back, so I know how crappy it is to have you sexuality made to feel like a joke or a 'phase'. He asked me the exact same question and is still convinced I am going through a phase. PM me if you like, OP ^^

(edited 8 years ago)

The questions he asked seemed perfectly normal to me tbh. Looks like you coming out went pretty smoothly!

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 9

qwerty_mad

It's not gonna go totally smooth is it? Which parent expects their child to come to them and say they're gay/lesbian?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry to hear this, your parents should be okay with you liking girls.

Reply 11

Dunnig Kruger

Take on board the gist of what your parents said, whilst ploughing your own furrow.

Go ahead and try out one or more women as a girlfriend.

I think you'll find that having a girlfriend isn't the key to eternal happiness. And that it's pretty much the same as having a boyfriend, except in a different flavour.

And within strawberry flavoured ice cream there's about as much variation in the quality as there is with pistachio ice cream.

Try to keep an open mind as to which flavour you prefer. And as to whether you prefer a particular sample because of the flavour or the quality of that particular sample.

If you find that you prefer one flavour over the other then that's fine.