Can you like someone even tho you never seen them?

Long story
Ive been talking to a guy for 4yrs now on msn/phone never seen him but have strong feelings towards him am i unusual im not a kid or teenager anymore (above 18) something happened and i was totally upset i think he knows but i dont know if im strange we dont live that far apart either
im anonymous because his on this site

Reply 1

wackysparkle

you can fall in love with their personality

Reply 2

potspansamy

Yes I think you can, you get to know the real them who they are on the inside and not be influenced by the way they look.

Reply 3

Ross_j

Reply 4

Jennybean

I would be inclined to say yes except that I know from how I am myself that often an internet persona can be quite, quite different to how that person is in real life. It's easier to be wittier and more interesting, tactful, etc online simply because you see what things look like written down and have time to consider your response. You don't get the spontaneity of 'real-life' interaction. I've also been out with a couple of people, when I was quite a bit younger, who I would regularly talk to on msn and found that even though I had met and got to know them in normal circumstances, talking to them over the internet could give me a very different impression of them. In fact my first 'proper' boyfriend was really dependent on msn to tell me anything of any importance. He became very embarrassed and shy when we were alone together and obviously being behind a computer screen gave him the guts to say things he wouldn't otherwise. In real life he was pretty boring and if the situation is like that I really don't think online interaction is any kind of substitute for chemistry and a good rapport. I suppose it can be a good tool in getting to know someone though - it's certainly convenient. If you think you might be a good couple, why not meet up with this guy and see if you get on as well without the internet? As long as you do it safely you have nothing to lose :smile:

Reply 5

Evil-Tuna

you have a crush on their brain. it happens.

Reply 6

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

You can believe you are in love with somebody you have met online, but it's difficult to tell for sure.

The thing is that in real life, people tend to have little...shall we call them "quirks" that make them unique. It could be the way they speak, an eyebrow twitch, a certain way of walking....
It could be little habits they have, like making sure their food is evenly placed on their plate, or nose picking, or peeling bananas with their toes (lol)....
It could be little phrases that they say all the time, or even excessive swearing.

These things you are aware of if you know the person in real life, but behind a computer screen you can't see what a persons "quirks" are.
It's impossible to tell whether or not they are going to drive you totally and completely bonkers, or whether you are going to be able to successfuly put up with them.

I know they only seem like little things, but it's several little things that make up the big picture.

Another factor: they might look like king kong.
I realise that the personality is the most important thing, but if you meet them, and they really are the most hideous person you've ever met in your entire life, will you truly be able to see past that and love them anyway?
Most people would like to say yes, of course, and that appearance is totally superficial. Is that realistic though? You might accept that they aren't Brad Pitt, but if they looked like the elephant man it would be a lot harder to see past it, no matter how much you wanted to.

Reply 7

JacquesNoir

Theres a reason you haven't seen his picture. You only love THE THINGS HE SAYS. You have no idea how he is in person and how he lives his day to day life. And he's probably an ugly mofo.

Reply 8

*pink_sapphires*

I dunno, I met my best friend online. We've met up a few times (don't worry, the situation was safe!) and since then our feelings have grown stronger for each other. Now people think we're going out because of the way we are with each other! I can see us being a couple though and I think he could aswell, but we're both too scared to take things further incase we mess up our friendship :redface:

Reply 9

Hubert Poo

You're not strange - not at all. But there is cause to be careful for several reasons. Suggesting that personas can differ is absolutely the case in many situations, if only because the internet gives so much room to project a particularly positive aspect of yourself to the outside, albeit still virtual world, without risk of recrimination or bullying toward possibly less desirable, socially unusual characteristics. In that sense, the internet is the great leveller - looks do not come into it simply because you cannot see them, and it does not colour your thinking. But the flip side of course is that such a projection is tempered, overly thought out, and in reality manufactured - interpersonal chemistry is probably very difficult to gauge. In some cases they can be drastically different, and serious problems can arise. Overall, there is one obvious answer, but with conditions appended to yourself - to meet him, aware in yourself that his personality is precious to you thus far, and aware that such a personality does not necessarily demand a relationship. You are not committed to anything, and you shouldn't feel under any pressure to love him for looks, for what he is, what he is not, how he compares to his internet persona etc. You have a certain image of him in your head, and comparing that image to the reality is not a demand on your own heart - it is simply the next stage of finding out about him. That is life, and it may turn out beautifully. It always can. Don't be so worried, and with the proper precautions (that should be stressed in such scenarios) there's no need to be afraid or overly nervous about it!