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eating disorders and sharing a uni house

Next (academic) year i am moving out of halls and into a house for my 2nd year, with 3 other girls.

This year i have had a room with an en-suite bathroom, and plenty of time to myself, but i am now starting to freak out over how i will cope with sharing come September. See, i have an eating disorder, purging anorexia to be exact. I tend to eat and throw up, a lot. & i am so so worried about how this will effect others that are going to be living with me next year.

& please don't say 'you need to recover', 'you get can better before then' etc, i have coped with this illness for 5 years now and it isn't going any time soon. I am in treatment, and trying, but it really isn't easy.

I actually spoke to one of the other girls, the one i am closest too, yesterday. I told her that if she ever has a problem with me in the house, she has to tell me,and i will move out or do whatever straight away. I don't want to create an atmopshere or make anyone uncomfortable, that is just not fair at all. I thought she knew about the ed, that it was obvious, but apparently she had no clue. I guess it is a relief to get it out there, though, i wouldn't want her to find out later on and think i'd been deceptive in agreeing to share a house with her and such.

It's not that i am messy when i throw up or that it will be noticable, i am pretty discreet in that sense. I guess deep down i am also really worried about having to be so secretive though, as here i can do what i like, my room is my space and if i want to hide loads of food in there and leave my toilet a mess that's fine, because no one else will see it.

Gah, rambling here, sorry! I just wanted to hear from others with any similar experiences i guess - people that have shared with others at uni while suffering from an ed, and how you/they dealt with that. Thanks in advance for any replies, i would really appreciate any insight :smile:

Reply 1

starless_dark

Can't say I've had a similar experience, but I believe what you are referring to is bulimia. I hope things get easier for you and you recover in due time, it can't feel nice having to worry so much about it, let alone just having it.

Reply 2

santogold

You confided in your closest friend and you should keep it at that for the time being. Obviously it would create some sort of uneasy feeling around all of you, if you just told them. People tend to react in a caring and concerned manner and even though I think it would be nice to have your friends' support, it could make things hard for them.
As long as one of them knows and she will be there for you, you should be okay. I really hope you are in proper treatment. Talk to your therapist about the issue with moving. See what they have to say.
Does the house you're moving into have one or two bathrooms?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

starless_dark

Actually, it sounds more like she/he is a purging anorexic, as she/he said. There is a difference. It really narks me when people who don't really know what they're talking about correct others.

Hm, as for what to do... telling one person is a start. At least she can tell you if you do purge, if you're being too messy or it gets too noticeable. I know that you said you're not messy, but I'm just saying, in case it happens by accident, at least you have someone that you can rely on to tell you quietly. Also, it helps to have someone to talk to, as if you find it hard to cope in sharing toilet facilities, you can go rant to her. :p:

I understand about being so secretive. It's an aspect of the disorder; secrecy and lies. However, maybe this might give you a bit of motivation to kickstart you into recovery?

I don't know. This has been kind of useless, lol. I'm sorry. As someone who's suffering from an eating disorder and living at HOME with one bathroom, I have always found it difficult (especially since the bathroom is next to my parent's room :rolleyes:

) to be secretive in what I do, and at what time etc. My parents used to be able to tell when I threw up, but I've gotten better at hiding it. I don't want to give you tips or anything, but if you really don't want people to know, make sure you clean up really well afterwards. At least then, you won't get any complaints.

Maybe it is motivation for you to go into some sort of self-willing, self-motivated recovery? Think about it. :smile:

Reply 4

Love Sheep

Could I just ask, what is the difference between a purging anorexic and a bullemic?

Reply 5

Becky.bee

purging anorexics eat very little but what they do eat they vomit back up. bullemics binge eat then make themselves sick. i think thats the difference between the two

Reply 6

bunnycatkid

I don't have anorexia or a psychological eating disorder, but I do have achalasia, its an illness which means whatever I do eat it cant move down my oesophagus, so then I am sick. My closest friends know about it, but I am living in a flat with people I hardly know, we have a shared bathroom, and to be honest I don't think they have noticed and we have been living together for 5 months. Its good of you to offer to move out but if they are your friends and they do find out you have an eating disorder, I think they are far more likely to want to help you than to ask you to leave. Good luck :smile:

Reply 7

starless_dark

Anonymous

Actually, it sounds more like she/he is a purging anorexic, as she/he said. There is a difference. It really narks me when people who don't really know what they're talking about correct others.

Like I said, I've never experienced an ED, and it did sound like bulimia - she said she eats and throws up a lot, I'd never heard of purging anorexia, only anorexia nervosa. I don't believe I said "You're wrong, it's called bulimia" or anything like that, so I don't think there's any need to bite my head off for mistaking one disorder for another. When you said "There is a difference" you didn't state it, which is a little unhelpful and doesn't help get your point across. It's a good thing someone asked what the difference was, so that was cleared up.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Becky.bee

purging anorexics eat very little but what they do eat they vomit back up. bullemics binge eat then make themselves sick. i think thats the difference between the two

Nope (this is the OP).

Bulimia - a NORMAL or overweight person, who binge eats and makes themselves sick, uses laxatives or other 'purging' means on a regular basis.

Purging anorexic - may eat and throw up just as much as a bulimic, but maintains a low weight and refuses to gain to a normal weight. Criteria also involves lack of menstruation and such.

So sometimes the only difference in your label can be your weight, which i find rather frustrating. I mostly think of myself as bulimic, as i 'eat too much' to be anorexic :rolleyes:

.

Anyway....other questions...we only have one bathroom, heh. It's not so much i told the friend to get myself support, it was more to let her know that i understand it may become an issue and if it does i also realise it is completely unfair to the others in the house. I just don't want to effect them at all :frown:

, scared they will just think i am disgusting if they catch me binging or know i have been sick.

Thanks for the replies so far, and i hope i cleared up the diagnosis confusion :wink:

Reply 9

*starbuck*

Anonymous

Nope (this is the OP).

Bulimia - a NORMAL or overweight person, who binge eats and makes themselves sick, uses laxatives or other 'purging' means on a regular basis.

A bulimic person can be underweight too, it's only when it reaches 15% recommended BMI that it is classed as anorexia. :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

this kind of stuff bothers me too

luckily i;m mostly recovered (i eat proper amounts but i'm still preoccupied by my body, think i'm fat, concearned with calories etc). but i still worry my housemates notice my weird food habits (sweeteners, everything "light" and low fat etc, weighing food so i can count calories). in the end i stopped caring and stopped hiding my habits, they probably think im weird but i am. i actually told one of my housemates in the end as well, as it came up, and we were quite close. she understands and is much better to talk to than a lot of people, never says any of the wrong things other people have said. i hope your friend is as thoughtful and helpful when you need support.

good luck with getting treatment, i know how hard it is in the UK. its usually quite easy to get councelling through the NHS or uni tho - you dont have to recover, just go and talk.

p.s. i like how when you described bulima it looks as if you;re saying it;s normal lol

Reply 11

ro-ro

I'm not anorexic or bulimic so I can't see this from an ED point of view but I have very strange eating habits with buying all Light food some weeks and eating little then buying proper unhealthy food and binging the next week. I am also sick quite often when I feel too full or drink too much alcohol. My housemates don't notice if my face doesn't bruise and they actually steer me away from the 'naughty aisles' when we go to Sainsbury.

I also used to do drugs which supressed my appetite and in my previous student house I rarely ate (one meal in the building a week) and peed constantly from the damage being done to my kidney. No one even noticed until one day they walked in and caught me and then they were just like can I have some.

I think at the age when you first live in a shared house you are so preoccupied with your wild student lifestyle and your amazing freedom you aren't very aware of everyone else and miss things so you should be safe with keeping it private. If they do find out you can tell them because you have nothing to be ashamed of and unless you're keeping them up while you're being sick or leaving mess all over the place they have no reason to have a problem.

When you move in with them you'll probably find they're different to how you thought to!

One question: so can bulimia lead to being anorexic purging? Like you lose so much weight and mantain at that level but still think you are fat?

Reply 12

SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian

They'll probably love being able to steal your biscuits and full fat milk, safe in the knowledge you weren't going to use them anyway.

Reply 13

ro-ro

Argh I hate people stealing my food in student houses, especially milk because I drink red and no one else does so if they use it all up the replace it with green safe in the knowledge that I won't drink it and they can use it up again. Don't let them have your milk!