Grammatical mistake --- please help

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Unregistered
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#1
Report 16 years ago
#1
Please help me to find out grammatical mistake in the following sentence :-

They came back with the news that the city had shut down; that there was splintered glass on all the roads.
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ickle_katy
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there shouldnt b a "that" after the ;


just a guess.


love Katy ***
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Rich
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Originally posted by Unregistered
Please help me to find out grammatical mistake in the following sentence :-

They came back with the news that the city had shut down; that there was splintered glass on all the roads.
I would think that the city would have to be shut down, as it's not really something which can shut itself down. Either way, I think that the first bit of that sentence should either be reflexive or passive, with my opinion veering towards the passive version, i.e. either:

"They came back with the news that the city had been shut down" - passive - (my preferred)

or

"They came back with the news that the city had shut itself down" - reflexive

As was mentioned by ickle_katy, I don't about using a sub-ordinating conjunction like 'that' after a semi-colon :confused:.

In the second part "on all of the roads" might be better, don't really think it makes much difference.

Regards,
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Pencil
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They came back with the news that the city had been shut down; that there was splintered glass on all the roads.

Looks fine to me, although I'd recommend a few changes.
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LittleMissSmile
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They came back with news that the city had shut down - there was splintered glass on the roads.

that is now gramatically correctomondo.
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