can someone help i feel so stupid :(

this probably sounds stupid :frown:

but recently iv been getting really upset by thinking about how id be able to cope if the people i loved died such as my parents etc i understand that this is natural but the problem is that i am now wondering why do i bother living what exactly for?? at the end ill loose my family , my friends and i along with many others are getting into debt for nothing by doing a degree which will probably end up no use.. im confused why i feel this way im usually so happy and im always going out and have plenty of friends but i sit crying for ages at night and its getting to a point where i cant cope. does anyone else feel like this ?? :s-smilie:

...is it in someway linked to depression i have suffered with depression for a few years but not in this way last year i attempted suicide but failed and since then my parents have been a rock is that in some way linked :confused:

im so confused and sound like a loony but can someone help in some small way. thankyou x x

Reply 1

-hugs_for_everyone-

I feel like that all the time

Reply 2

Yoda

12

I've never felt that.

Reply 3

Jennybean

13

I think you need to get some professional help. Everyone feels like this to some degree and certainly the thought of losing people we love, the futility of life and other painful concepts along these lines don't ever get easier to deal with, but if they're threatening to take over your life then it's quite different. If you have suffered/are suffering from depression, these feelings are probably an extension of your illness and you may find that therapy and perhaps some anti-depressants help.

In terms of good, common sense advice the thing I tell everyone (which my mother in turn told me) is to bear in mind that life will always find ways to surprise you with horrible events - it's never the things you worry about that happen, it's always stuff you would never, ever expect. I don't say that to worry you more but to make you realise that just because you have a fear of something happening, doesn't mean it will happen. When I look back on the awful things that I have seen or that have happened to me in my short life, I realise I never could have seen any of them coming. I would never have devoted any time pondering the possibility of them occurring or worrying that they would happen because they were just the unlikeliest things. And the things that I would lie awake crying about never happened. So when I consider it like that, it makes me wonder why I ever bother worrying about things at all!

Worrying about how you will feel when the inevitable happens, e.g. when your parents die, is another issue, because obviously it will happen at some point. I guess all I can say is that worrying isn't going to make it happen at a different time - when it does happen yes it will be awful but you can't change that. It's something absolutely everybody goes through at some point in their life and you just have to deal with it. Hopefully by the time you get to a point where it's becoming a realistic concern, you will have your own family to focus on. Losing your parents at an age where you are still very much dependent on them must be incredibly difficult - losing them when you are an adult with your own life is still dreadful emotionally but it's not the same in terms of the upset in your life balance.

Anyway I seem to have written a lot about very little. I guess my point is worrying is natural but not to the point where it's becoming an impediment to living your life normally. Get some counselling to help you deal with it and maybe tell your parents too - perhaps you just need to let them know how much they mean to you, and I'm sure they'd be incredibly glad to hear you say it.

Reply 4

quintsy

17

I think it's hard to offer a piece of solid advice which will really make you feel better, because what you've described is very common; but also sadly inevitable. I know exactly what you mean, but I think what you have to remember is that right now you are still relatively young, and hopefully it will still be some years before your parents die. Until then, you'll grow so much as a person; you'll meet so many people who could change your life; and you might even start your own family. My dad has lost both of his parents, and while it is devastating, he said he now has his own family who can support him and who he still loves. My French teacher also said a similar thing; he lost his dad last year I think, and it is undeniably a terrible blow, but again- he knows that there are still so many people there for him, and you do learn to carry on your life whilst remembering the person and all of the good memories you shared.

I'm not saying that you'll move on instantly- not by any means. But the important thing is that you have others around you who you still care for and vice versa. I hope you feel a little better soon about it- but you're not alone at all. :hugs:

Reply 5

invisible_gal

Anonymous

this probably sounds stupid :frown:

but recently iv been getting really upset by thinking about how id be able to cope if the people i loved died such as my parents etc i understand that this is natural but the problem is that i am now wondering why do i bother living what exactly for?? at the end ill loose my family , my friends and i along with many others are getting into debt for nothing by doing a degree which will probably end up no use.. im confused why i feel this way im usually so happy and im always going out and have plenty of friends but i sit crying for ages at night and its getting to a point where i cant cope. does anyone else feel like this ?? :s-smilie:

...is it in someway linked to depression i have suffered with depression for a few years but not in this way last year i attempted suicide but failed and since then my parents have been a rock is that in some way linked :confused:

im so confused and sound like a loony but can someone help in some small way. thankyou x x

I do kinda understand how you're feeling, though with me it's about one of my best friends. Ive had depression for a couple of years and ive become very dependent on him, but I really worry that something will happen to him, and it does get me very upset.
It does not sound stupid by the way, but I do think it might be a good idea for you to get counselling, these kind of feelings do tend to be linked with depression and it might really help if you could keel talking to someone about it, tho of course please keep talking on here as well.
I don't think your feelings are uncommon, especially among depression sufferers. But I do think you need someone to talk to. Have you spoken about this to any of your friends?

Reply 6

C00kies

I sometimes think like that and it makes me cry but then i think maybe I should be nicer to them and show them I love them more so at least when they die I know that they know how much I loved them.

Reply 7

Rez

I know how you feel. After my father died, I did not come to the UK to do my degree as I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my Mom and I was afraid that I will never forgive myself if she dies while I am abroad. Two years past and eventually, I had to go to Manchester as that’s what she wanted. If I graduate from a good university, if I live up to my potential and do something for my country, that will make her happy. But for a long, long time, I was a person without any drive and ambition and I had to overcome that by myself.

You just need to be strong. Life always has a purpose. There is so much you can give back to the community, to your friends, family. Just think how proud and happy your parents will be when you excel in life. Cherish the time you have with them now and deal with the inevitable when it happens.

Counselling will certainly help. Talk to your parents and friends as well if possible. Make sure they know how it is affecting you. You will be fine :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

thank you all very much for your replies. in a way it good to know that others feel as i do i thought i was going insane. it feels good to have been able to express how i feel on here and i can see im not alone. all of your advice has been terrific. thankyou.. id like the thread to keep going if possible :smile:

it has helped so much x x

Reply 9

silverbolt

19

i think you need some professional help OP, itl be the best thing for you i think

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Having loved ones taken away from you is the hardest thing ever. But remember everyone walks into life alone and leaves life by themselves, thats why everyone has to find that person in themselves. There are little children in this world in places such as africa and all over the world that have no one with them, it is very hard. Fight to survive not to die. Have faith, your going to be fine. God bless

Reply 11

invisible_gal

Anonymous

thank you all very much for your replies. in a way it good to know that others feel as i do i thought i was going insane. it feels good to have been able to express how i feel on here and i can see im not alone. all of your advice has been terrific. thankyou.. id like the thread to keep going if possible :smile:

it has helped so much x x

Hey OP
No, you are definitely not going insane!
How are you feeling about everything else? You said you wondered why you bothered living - is that really how you feel?
Was your depression triggered in the first place by anything and is it pretty bad at the moment? Have you ever had any professional help before?
I really think it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone, but yeah i think it's a good idea to keep this thread going, especially if it helps you.

Reply 12

Tag

8

i do that. go so far as to imaine fnerals, tribute crap things lol. dno why. bit fukd up really isn't it lol.

Reply 13

Jennybean

13

Tag

i do that. go so far as to imaine fnerals, tribute crap things lol. dno why. bit fukd up really isn't it lol.

You what?!

can someone help i feel so stupid :(

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