Worried about my weight and my boyfriend

Hell I'd love to be a size 12 again.
I'm 5'4" and when I met my hubby I WAS a size 12, now (aside from being pregnant) I'm roughly size 14-16 ontop and 16-18 on the bottom.

I know how it feels to put weight on, but honestly, size 12 is NOT big. I look back now on photos I had when I was size 12 and I LONG to be that size again!!

Reply 8

I also worry about getting fat and whether my bf will still like me :frown:

I was an 8 when we met 3 years ago and I've escalated to a 10 now. I know it doesn't sound much but now I really worry that I might get bigger. Really try to watch what I eat.

Reply 9

Talya

I also worry about getting fat and whether my bf will still like me :frown:

I was an 8 when we met 3 years ago and I've escalated to a 10 now. I know it doesn't sound much but now I really worry that I might get bigger. Really try to watch what I eat.

again, size ten is not big at all. don't worry.

Reply 10

XenaGlamRocker

again, size ten is not big at all. don't worry.

I know but my boyfriend likes me as I am, and I want to continue for him to like me!

Reply 11

Talya

I know but my boyfriend likes me as I am, and I want to continue for him to like me!

if your boyfriend is that superficial that he would dislike you if you gained a little weight, he's not worth being with.
sorry.

i shall say it again, size 10 is not big.

if you got to 20 stone, i would understand him being concerned for your health, but it shouldn't be a question of him stopping liking you!

my husband is 25 stone. when i met him he was 17 stone. his weight has shot up terribly and i'm so so terrified that he will have a heart attack and die or something!
for the sake of his health i desperately want him to lose weight.
But I don't love him any less because his weight has increased. he is still the same person!

Reply 12

XenaGlamRocker

if your boyfriend is that superficial that he would dislike you if you gained a little weight, he's not worth being with.
sorry.

How DARE you.

I wouldn't want my boyfriend.. FIANCE actually to get fat either, so I understand that he wouldn't want me to! I understand that perhaps when I get older I won't be able to keep the weight off but for now, I will try my damndest to remain as attractive as possible for him.

Pfffffffffffffft.

It is more MY concern than him actually having said he'd break up with me. I KNOW he prefers me thin, even though of course he always says he doesn't mind. :rolleyes:

Silly boy!

Reply 13

Talya

How DARE you.

I wouldn't want my boyfriend.. FIANCE actually to get fat either, so I understand that he wouldn't want me to! I understand that perhaps when I get older I won't be able to keep the weight off but for now, I will try my damndest to remain as attractive as possible for him.

good good, you both deserve each other :rolleyes:

ETA: You should remain as attractive as possible for YOU, not for somebody else.
But do what you want, it's your life.

Reply 14

XenaGlamRocker

good good, you both deserve each other :rolleyes:

So just because 2 people have a relationship that's different to yours they must be bad and 'deserve each other'. Thanks a bunch.

Reply 15

Talya

So just because 2 people have a relationship that's different to yours they must be bad and 'deserve each other'. Thanks a bunch.

from your post, i conclude that you are both superficial.

it's far better that 2 superficial people get together, than a relationship where 1 is superficial and the other is not.

it may not be necessarily "bad" to be superficial, but i wouldn't want to be with a superficial person myself. good thing i don't have to worry about that.

Reply 16

XenaGlamRocker

it may not be necessarily "bad" to be superficial, but i wouldn't want to be with a superficial person myself. good thing i don't have to worry about that.

Yes, as a huge science fiction geek and not the belle of the ball, as you can see from my profile pic, i obviously have the luxury of being superficial.

I would never break up with my boyfriend because he 'let himself go' but I would perhaps encourage him to go to the gym or start feeding him better myself (haha). He cycles a lot though so I don't have to worry.

Reply 17

Talya

Yes, as a huge science fiction geek and not the belle of the ball, as you can see from my profile pic, i obviously have the luxury of being superficial.

I would never break up with my boyfriend because he 'let himself go' but I would perhaps encourage him to go to the gym or start feeding him better myself (haha). He cycles a lot though so I don't have to worry.

as it happens I hadn't looked at your profile pic, I had no reason to.

Look, I can understand being concerned about someone "letting themselves go" if they were losing or gaining loads of weight rapidly. For health reasons this is not good.
Also, if they suddenly for no apparant reason started to not care about their appearance, it could be caused by something like depression.
If this is the case, fine, I totally understand it bothering you if it were to happen to your fiancé.

But would it really bother you so much if he "let himself go" but was not harming his health and he was incredibly happy about it?
If he suddenly shaved his head, put on a couple of pounds (not LOADS, not becoming obese or anything, but a bit of weight), and started throwing on any old clothes, why would that bother you?

Sure, it would be very sudden and out of character, which would confuse you,
but what if he turned round and said to you "look, honey, all these years I've been obsessed with the way I look, and what kind of image I put across to the world, and what people think of me. Now, I've suddenly had an epiphany. I've realised that I am a wonderful person. It doesn't matter what I wear, or what my hair is like, or whether I put on a little weight. What matters is what's deep inside. I've realised this and I feel so FREEEE!"

Would you tell him he is making himself ugly and that he should damn well stop it? Or would you be pleased for him for realising something as great as this?

Surely you can see my point?

Reply 18

He is definitely not obsessed with the way he looks.

Unfortunately, he finds himself constrained by social restrictions that force him to wear clean clothes and look respectable. I think he'd rather walk round naked.

When he has muscular arms, he shows them off to me, and I find them very attractive.. if he didn't have them, I just wouldn't pay any attention to them, but I think he likes it when I do!

Incidentally: I wish he would shave his head, his hair is always far too long to be practical!

I never said I would TELL him to stop, I said I would suggest that he goes to the gym. If he doesn't, I might sulk for a while but I'd definitely get over it.

I am slightly annoyed that I am getting lambasted for being brutally honest about myself here. I am not a bad person, and neither is my boyfriend (probably one of the best men in the world)

If I have still not satisfied you then I'm not sure there's much more I can do.

Reply 19